# asshat who stole my bike **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 3, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885 "2012-12-03T19:07:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/121 "2012-12-05T14:44:43Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Perfect example of liberal condescension assholery. At least in this country it hasn’t gotten to the point where “inakomyslyaschie” (other-thinkers) get committed in psychiatric clinics as they used to in the old country. Yet. How sad. It is so confused it actually thinks smearing feces all over this thread is some sort of political statement. ---
**Author:** ![Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kolak_of_twilo/32/73_2.png) [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolak_of_Twilo)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/122 "2012-12-05T15:02:22Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > If some scum steals my current ride (a bike I got at the local Wal-Mart during a half-price sale), I think [this is the nifty replacement](http://www.a-bike.com.cn/) I’ll get. I’ve actually seen a few bikes on the road that are similar to that, just larger wheels. I wondered if they were collapsible. Cool idea. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/123 "2012-12-05T16:30:19Z")
> [@Kolak\_of\_Twilo](#): > > I’ve actually seen a few bikes on the road that are similar to that, just larger wheels. I wondered if they were collapsible. Cool idea. For my last year and a half at university, I rode [this bad baby](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5SEEUcXcGQ) instead of my bicycle about half the time. The biggest advantage was the thing collapses and I could leave it in the back of the classroom, grab it on the way out, and be on my merry, non-theft-victim way when class was over. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/124 "2012-12-05T16:35:36Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > Ah so the only way you think of helping the downtrodden is to pay taxes? When they steal your bike - that helps them out, right? So why do you object to some poor schlob who is more needy than you being helped? You can afford a new bike. You are a blubbering child. Grow up. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/125 "2012-12-05T16:41:40Z")
The OP rant would be better if you modeled it after the [Kids in the Hall’s “Open Letter to the Guy Who Stole My Bike Wheel”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m68-oWBh9Ow) “Well, why did you do it? Are you some sort of jerk or something?” ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/126 "2012-12-05T16:44:16Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > You are a blubbering child. > > Grow up. Anyone wanna tell me where the like button is? **Terr** explained in 7 words. It’s hard to get more concise without losing the message somewhat; “Terr’s a Dipshit” is just 3 words, but doesn’t quite express the same degree of accuracy… ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/127 "2012-12-05T16:49:52Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > You are a blubbering child. > > Grow up. You’re a liberal hypocrite. ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/128 "2012-12-05T17:16:13Z")
So… I’d almost consider putting that spike-in-seat idea into action, but two problems: 1. I’m not a very proficient engineer 2. I wouldn’t trust even a very proficient engineer to install a spring-loaded spike aimed at my genitals on something I drive down bumpy roads. Just leaving it out would probably count as cruel and unusual punishment, but if the judge had ever had his bike stolen, he would understand… ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/129 "2012-12-05T23:02:49Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > You’re a liberal hypocrite. Since Terr clearly entered the thread with no other purposes than derailing it, angering everyone, and issuing insults, might I suggest we stop abetting him? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/130 "2012-12-05T23:42:38Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Since Terr clearly entered the thread with no other purposes than derailing it, angering everyone, and issuing insults, might I suggest we stop abetting him? Awww. What fun is that? ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/131 "2012-12-05T23:47:53Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > You’re a liberal hypocrite. Whether **Lobohan** is Liberal or not most likely depends on the particular issue. As there are very many issues in today’s life, that’s far too complex a question to address, really. Now, your assertion that **Lobohan** is a hypocrite should be fairly easy to prove if your assertion is true. So, what particular statements of that poster on this board show them to be stating one position and acting contrary to it? ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/132 "2012-12-05T23:58:39Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Whether **Lobohan** is Liberal or not most likely depends on the particular issue. As there are very many issues in today’s life, that’s far too complex a question to address, really. Now, your assertion that **Lobohan** is a hypocrite should be fairly easy to prove if your assertion is true. So, what particular statements of that poster on this board show them to be stating one position and acting contrary to it? He got me. I’m pro gay marriage. But I’m personally heterosexual married. I was young. She smelled nice… I’m sorry Dan Savage!!1 ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/133 "2012-12-06T01:39:01Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > He got me. I’m pro gay marriage. But I’m personally heterosexual married. > > I was young. She smelled nice… I’m sorry Dan Savage!!1 Reminds me (don’t ask why, just go with it) of that joke about the incredibly innocent young lady who married a gentleman from Greece. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/134 "2012-12-06T11:09:54Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > He got me. I’m pro gay marriage. But I’m personally heterosexual married. Don’t you know that [altruism is the greatest moral evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7zwO88nRH8)([homosexuality is only a minor evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxtHof4iNB4))? That said, taxation is not criminal, as theft is not criminal: > [@Ayn Rand](#): > > It is only the initiation of physical force against others- i.e., the recourse to violence- that can be classified as a crime in a free society (as distinguished from a civil wrong). Unless one wants to claim that only libertarian utopias are free societies, in which case it would be valid to classify Objectivism as a crime in an unfree society. Objectivism is self-refuting. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/135 "2012-12-06T11:15:09Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > He got me. I’m pro gay marriage. But I’m personally heterosexual married. Don’t you know that [altruism is the greatest moral evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7zwO88nRH8)([homosexuality is only a minor evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxtHof4iNB4))\*? That said, taxation is not criminal, as theft is not criminal: > [@Ayn Rand](#): > > It is only the initiation of physical force against others- i.e., the recourse to violence- that can be classified as a crime in a free society (as distinguished from a civil wrong). Unless one wants to claim that only libertarian utopias are free societies, in which case it would be valid to classify Objectivism as a crime in an unfree society. Objectivism is self-refuting. - Usually accompanied by claims that communism is not viable due to its contradicting human nature, as the libertarian lacks the theory of mind necessary to acknowledge that others are not as cynical and selfish as they are. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/136 "2012-12-06T11:28:17Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > He got me. I’m pro gay marriage. But I’m personally heterosexual married. Don’t you know that [altruism is the greatest moral evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7zwO88nRH8)([homosexuality is only a minor evil](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxtHof4iNB4))\*? That said, taxation is not criminal, as theft is not criminal: > [@Ayn Rand](#): > > It is only the initiation of physical force against others- i.e., the recourse to violence- that can be classified as a crime in a free society (as distinguished from a civil wrong). Unless one wants to claim that only libertarian utopias are free societies, in which case it would be valid to classify Objectivism as a crime in an unfree society. Objectivism is self-refuting. - Usually accompanied by claims that communism is not viable due to its contradicting human nature, as the libertarian lacks the theory of mind necessary to acknowledge that others are not as cynical and selfish as they are. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Bredin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@John\_Bredin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Bredin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/137 "2012-12-06T23:58:33Z")
> [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](#): > > I would posit that you should go suck a bag of dicks. You’re being intentionally obtuse and I have no interest in being the nth person to explain the difference between taxation and theft to someone who has no interest in learning anything. **Especially not in a thread about people’s bikes being stolen. Maybe if your mother dies I’ll threadshit something about medicare in there.** Fuckwit. (Bolded for emphasis.)\*\*Terr, \*\*do you understand that _this_ is the nature of the frustration being expressed with your postings in this thread, NOT that they’re all sheltered & hypocritical liberals who “can’t handle the truth”?😕:smack: If someone stands up at a funeral or during a movie and starts speechifying at the top of his lungs, most people in attendance will be similarly pissed off, regardless of whether the speech is nonsense or the most profound truth ever uttered. Forum, context, time-place-and-manner, whatever you want to call it. You do understand that, right?! Yes, I know I’m pissing into the wind here. But sometimes the implicit must be made explicit. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/budget_player_cadet/32/205_2.png) [@Budget\_Player\_Cadet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Budget_Player_Cadet)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/138 "2012-12-07T00:07:43Z")
> [@John\_Bredin](#): > > If someone stands up at a funeral or during a movie and starts speechifying at the top of his lungs, most people in attendance will be similarly pissed off, regardless of whether the speech is nonsense or the most profound truth ever uttered. Of course, it being utter nonsense makes it even _worse_. ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/139 "2012-12-07T00:10:45Z")
> [@John\_Bredin](#): > > (Bolded for emphasis.)\*\*Terr, \*\*do you understand that _this_ is the nature of the frustration being expressed with your postings in this thread, NOT that they’re all sheltered & hypocritical liberals who “can’t handle the truth”?😕:smack: If someone stands up at a funeral or during a movie and starts speechifying at the top of his lungs, most people in attendance will be similarly pissed off, regardless of whether the speech is nonsense or the most profound truth ever uttered. Forum, context, time-place-and-manner, whatever you want to call it. You do understand that, right?! > > Yes, I know I’m pissing into the wind here. But sometimes the implicit must be made explicit. 😉 Bull. Mother dying is a tragedy. Bike stolen is an inconvenience. The stupidity of trying to compare the two is breathtaking. Liberals hate their hypocrisy being pointed out. That’s what’s happening here. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshat-who-stole-my-bike/642885/140 "2012-12-07T00:17:06Z")
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