# asshole/bitch or socially awkward cretin : what's worse **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 6, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969 "2012-04-06T02:19:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/21 "2012-04-06T03:43:12Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > Yah I already covered that. And honestly it doesn’t matter what I post in this thread: it’s wrong. > > So anyway…what if the asshole was smart and organized and efficient? Like, you’d hate every minute of the project but you would know you’d excel in the end? Honestly I would report their assholish behaviour to management and even tell them they are kick-ass but their assholeishness makes everyone miserable and not really care about the project. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/22 "2012-04-06T03:46:25Z")
What if the asshole is management? I’m not being challenging–I’m really curious about this stuff. (And again–there’s a segment of the population which is both…worst mix ever.) ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/23 "2012-04-06T03:52:59Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > Well, which one are you? I can’t help but think that [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqgSO8_cRio) is relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/24 "2012-04-06T04:32:18Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > . . . Ok, now let me ask another question. What about in a work setting: would you rather partner with a competent jerk or a kind dummy? What about for a boss? . . . Give me the kind dummy, any day. I can be patient. I can teach. But I have a legal right not to be a victim. (I had a toxic boss from hell. It drove me to drink. I lost seven good years of my life, hiding in a bottle from that monster. Never again.) If I were an employer, and had to choose which type to be my employee, it would be harder, because the kind dummy can do a lot of serious harm, but I’d still choose him over the competent jerk. The dummy might harm my property, but the jerk will harm me. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/25 "2012-04-06T04:57:30Z")
\*I’m \*not even on Team Rachel. That bitch be cray-zay. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/26 "2012-04-06T05:10:23Z")
Obvious sock/troll is obvious. May as well get the pool started for the inevitable banning… I say he’s gone by 3:00 PM Central on 4/7/2012. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/27 "2012-04-06T05:24:22Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > Obvious sock/troll is obvious. May as well get the pool started for the inevitable banning… > > I say he’s gone by 3:00 PM Central on 4/7/2012. No, this one’s playing the game pretty well - comes on strong, backs off, comes on strong again - I’m going to give him until mid-April - say April 15th. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/28 "2012-04-06T06:29:23Z")
Hmm… Add “Clueless Git” into the options and you’ve hit the trifecta. Seriously. Go away and come back come back when you’ve gotten a passing grade in Personality 101. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/29 "2012-04-06T08:31:04Z")
I don’t know who the OP is, beyond that he is clearly a git. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/30 "2012-04-06T11:11:14Z")
@Trin: I was wondering that too, about if it would be harder from the boss perspective. Toxic bosses are the worst—but again, I wonder if the trade off of frustration with dealing with incompetency, slow moving, bumbling is worth it? ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/31 "2012-04-06T13:28:27Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > No, this one’s playing the game pretty well - comes on strong, backs off, comes on strong again - I’m going to give him until mid-April - say April 15th. I never get these games right. If I pick “mid afternoon today” the tool usually lasts another two months. Last week I picked one to make it to July 15th and he was out the door by 3 the next day. So in the hope that I’m the reverse-logic barometer of this stuff… I pick… July 15th, 2012 ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/32 "2012-04-06T19:23:34Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > What if the asshole is management? I’m not being challenging–I’m really curious about this stuff. (And again–there’s a segment of the population which is both…worst mix ever.) Then I go to their boss. Same as if management was sexually harassing me. Also prcupines. EDIT: Also I can spell. EDIT 2: Also I really really can’t spell. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2012, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/33 "2012-04-06T20:31:23Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > . . . I was wondering that too, about if it would be harder from the boss perspective. Toxic bosses are the worst—but again, I wonder if the trade off of frustration with dealing with incompetency, slow moving, bumbling is worth it? Much depends on the individual making the choice. Some of us are tougher and thicker-skinned than others; some of us are more sensitive to unfair criticism than others. In my case, the evil, toxic, nasty, poisonous, vicious, monster of a boss also caused a degradation of my ability to do my job, by driving me to drink and into a nervous breakdown. So, in addition to all else, there is, in real life, an overlap among the effects. Speaking as one who is over-sensitive, I have to vote firmly in favor of the good-natured incompetent over the able, but vicious, co-worker. Someone came up with a similar discriminant, which tends to correlate with liberal/conservative views: would you rather be cruel, or stupid? I vote for stupid… (Hey, I got a cameo in Tom Weller’s book “Cvltvre Made Stvpid!” Stupid is my middle name!) ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/34 "2012-04-07T02:12:39Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > I can’t help but think that [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqgSO8_cRio) is relevant. Wise. Por que no las dos, indeed! ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/35 "2012-04-07T04:21:25Z")
Yeah, I can deal with asshole coworkers as long as I can basically put them on my ignore list. If I was stuck on a project with one, well, there would be only one survivor. It’s happened before, and if I have to go head-to-head, so far the other one has lost. So give me the dumb one and we’ll all keep our jobs. Maybe he/she will even learn something in the process. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/36 "2012-04-07T13:20:32Z")
I work with, and manage, both types. I prefer the dummies because they’re nicer people. ---
**Author:** ![Crab\_Rangoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ba0ec/32.png) [@Crab\_Rangoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crab_Rangoon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/37 "2012-04-07T15:24:35Z")
I think this is one of those times where, if you are wondering who “that person” is in the room, you **are** “that person”. I work with a few dummies but I don’t think any one is mean - so…I guess I’m the mean one. Huh. Although - I do get along with most of the people I work with - I just try really really hard to avoid the “dummies”. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Dord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@The\_Dord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Dord)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/38 "2012-04-07T19:40:59Z")
> [@living\_in\_hell](#): > > If you must pick, pick one or the other. Otherwise you’ll probably end up posting here. > > Dear OP: > You didn’t use a question mark. You are now banned from the cool club. > Signed, SD Mob Are you Yakuza? :smack: :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/39 "2012-04-08T20:41:36Z")
> [@Max\_the\_Immortal](#): > > I can’t help but think that [this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vqgSO8_cRio) is relevant. Why are they eating out of a hat? ETA: Ah, they’re choosing numbers from out of a hat. I thought they were taking out the crunchy or the soft tacos. Why didn’t mom tell them to calm down while she set up the numbers and wheel with dad? So many questions. > [@Oakminster](#): > > Obvious sock/troll is obvious. May as well get the pool started for the inevitable banning… > > I say he’s gone by 3:00 PM Central on 4/7/2012. June 20th, 2012 ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969/40 "2012-04-09T23:38:56Z")
I thought about this thread today at work and I had an interaction with one of the dummies…and I’m starting to think that incompetence can be as damaging as a big ego. I think I’m changing my idea to “it depends on the impact on the team.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/asshole-bitch-or-socially-awkward-cretin-whats-worse/617969.md?page=1)