# Assholes at the gym: A "What would you do?" and "Here's what I did"
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [September 14, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744 "2010-09-14T17:26:13Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/1 "2010-09-14T17:26:13Z")
There are two assholes who work at the front desk of the gym I used to go to. Asshole 1 is some creepy guy who is always just barely on the wrong side of inappropriate. He never says or does anything overtly out line, but it’s just enough to make you feel uncomfortable. And it’s not all in my head, but if it is, another woman I know is misreading the same cues in exactly the way I am.
Right as the weather was getting nice, she mentioned to me that she would be canceling her membership. When I asked why, she said it was getting too lovely out to be trapped in a gym, plus she couldn’t be bothered with the staff anymore. So I said, “What do you mean? The staff there is great… well, except that one guy.” Right then her eyes lit up with recognition, and she exclaimed “Yes! That front desk guy with the dreadlocks!” Yes, him indeed. We talked about how he is just too damn flirty, and we wish he would shut the fuck up and swipe the damn membership card. Everyone else just keeps it down to “Hello,” or “Have a nice day,” and he’s always gotta sit there and goddamn flirt. If you keep your responses short, he’ll then ask you if you’re in a bad mood, or ask you to smile. Dude, swipe the fucking card already, and stop holding onto it so that you can talk to me for five minutes. So I started purposely avoiding gym days when that guy was there.
And there’s where Asshole 2 came in. One day I (mistakenly!) asked for help with the rowing machine. I thought I didn’t have the settings correct, because I was getting very little resistance out of the machine everyone kept telling me was one of the best workouts in the gym. He confirmed that I had it set to maximum resistance, and then asked me what I was trying to work on. My upper body strength is pretty sad, so I figured I’d change that. Thus begins a full gamut of the gym, various strength-building exercises, being told not to quit when I complained my arms hurt, and also being informed that the pain was “because [my] arms are weak.” I was sore for days afterward. That’s not the bad part.
The bad part is then _every single time_ I’ve been back since then (and I’m there maybe three times a week), he asks me if I want him to come in there to help me. Call me a quitter, or whatever the fuck, but I didn’t want to do that again, so I told him no. Then the next time I went back he asked me again.
:dubious:
I don’t know if he thinks he’s being funny or what, but I didn’t want to be bothered. I made a half joke and said, “I’ve decided I don’t need upper body strength anymore.” He laughed, I laughed, I went in and did some cardio. Then next time I went to the gym --you guessed it!-- he asked me if I wanted him to come in there. No! I’ve said no three times now. At one point I told him, “If I need your help, I’ll let you know.” _Then_ on Sunday after asking me yet again if I wanted him to bother me and I said no, _he came into the workout area_ next to the elliptical I was on, and asked if I was trying to get away from him. Yes, you crazy person, I am! So I told him for what has to have been at least the eighth time, “I’m not interested in lifting weights. I’m going to do cardio now.”
Jesus Fucking Christ.
So the next day I canceled my membership. I don’t want to work out there anymore. A friend asked why I didn’t complain. Also, the gym lady told me she could have the issue addressed. My response to both was the same: Once I’ve been made uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable. Even if the behavior stopped, I just don’t like having to deal with these two people, so I’m out. It’s not the only gym in town.
---
### Author:  [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/2 "2010-09-14T17:32:21Z")
You’re totally within your right to quit, obviously. But, I wish you’d have sent a letter to management saying “this is why I quit. X, Y, and Z happened.”
It’s a teachable moment for the irritating people, and the gym.
---
### Author:  [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/3 "2010-09-14T17:35:22Z")
I think I would have at least complained before I quit. Give management a chance to fix the problem. And I would make it clear that I most definitely did NOT want any sort of repercussions from the assholes (and they seem like the type that would). They can just put a cork in it.
If the problem was not resolved, THEN I’d quit.
That said, I can also understand where you’re coming from re: already being uncomfortable. That’s your call. (Especially when there are other alternatives.) I can think of other situations where I could have been all diplomatic and just said “Fuck it.”
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### Author:  [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/4 "2010-09-14T17:36:32Z")
You should have complained to management anyway, not for your own benefit, but to let them know they have employees whose behavor is costing them customers.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/5 "2010-09-14T17:38:24Z")
LOL. Who voted for “Strangle them both”?
> [@blanx](#):
>
> You’re totally within your right to quit, obviously. But, I wish you’d have sent a letter to management saying “this is why I quit. X, Y, and Z happened.”
>
> It’s a teachable moment for the irritating people, and the gym.
Yeah, I told one of the front desk ladies, and the manager who wanted to talk to me about it. Hopefully they’ll correct this, but either way, I won’t be there to find out.
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### Author:  [@Stormcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stormcrow)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/6 "2010-09-14T17:47:44Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> LOL. Who voted for “Strangle them both”?
Well, first you’d have had to work on your upper body strength.
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### Author:  [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/7 "2010-09-14T17:50:56Z")
Yeah, give the gym a chance. That is, if you like them enough to stay. I doubt the manager will be surprised that there is a sphincter on staff, although I also doubt they can do much about it without telling them to leave you specifically alone.
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### Author:  [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/8 "2010-09-14T17:52:07Z")
You must be smokin’ hot. Or you go to the ugly people gym, whichever. 🙂
It’s easy to scare me off from a place where I’m already feeling kind of vulnerable, you know? I wish you hadn’t left and had made an issue out of it, but I get why you didn’t.
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### Author:  [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/9 "2010-09-14T17:55:59Z")
> [@blanx](#):
>
> You’re totally within your right to quit, obviously. But, I wish you’d have sent a letter to management saying “this is why I quit. X, Y, and Z happened.”
>
> It’s a teachable moment for the irritating people, and the gym.
True, but most people don’t do that. The most common course of action is to vote with your feet–or your checkbook.
Call that a teachable moment for those of us in management. The VAST majority of customers don’t complain; you just don’t see them anymore.
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### Author:  [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/10 "2010-09-14T17:56:07Z")
Something else - quit and complain.
Although complaining seems like the most mature way to handle it (assuming it’s done in a mature manner, of course), I would assume that there would be this awkwardness when you become “that mean old lady that bitched about me.” Yes, the problem would be addressed but it would not solve \*your \*primary problem, which is an uncomfortable atmosphere at the gym. For that, it’s time to cut and run, and let the gym know why you are leaving - which sounds exactly like what you did.
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### Author:  [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/11 "2010-09-14T18:03:54Z")
Yeah, I’d totally quit if I had a membership somewhere where people talked to me and wanted to help me.
OK. I’m not a chick, so I guess I can’t appreciate the awkwardness.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/12 "2010-09-14T18:13:33Z")
> [@Stormcrow](#):
>
> > [@MeanOldLady](#):
> >
> > LOL. Who voted for “Strangle them both”?
>
> Well, first you’d have had to work on your upper body strength.
Hey… ☹
> [@Zsofia](#):
>
> You must be smokin’ hot. Or you go to the ugly people gym, whichever. 🙂
Please. The guy is just a creepypants. The woman I know who shared the same complaint about Asshole 1 isn’t smokin’ hot either.
> [@Leaffan](#):
>
> Yeah, I’d totally quit if I had a membership somewhere where people talked to me and wanted to help me.
Oh? Even if someone kept asking you about something you had _absolutely zero interest in_, but continued to be asked about _every single time_ you went? No means no, right? Especially three times a week for several weeks, non?
As for giving the gym another chance, I felt half-tempted, especially considering how seriously the membership ladies took my complaint, but I gotta say, I feel how I feel. I don’t like being around those two people, and I certainly don’t suspect that I’d start liking it after I’ve complained about them to management.
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### Author:  [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/13 "2010-09-14T18:13:59Z")
> [@Leaffan](#):
>
> Yeah, I’d totally quit if I had a membership somewhere where people talked to me and wanted to help me.
>
> OK. I’m not a chick, so I guess I can’t appreciate the awkwardness.
I hate answering the same damn question to the same damn person 5 or 10 times.
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### Author:  [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/14 "2010-09-14T18:16:09Z")
Continually following you around and offering to help when you have been told multiple times that no help is needed or wanted isn’t “wanting to help,” it’s “wanting to harass.”
I’d have quit but told the management why I quit.
And can I just say that that, “Come on, are you in a bad mood? Smile!” bullshit makes me completely insane with rage. If I fucking wanted to smile, then I would be smiling, wouldn’t I? I’m always tempted to respond to that by saying, “Actually I was just diagnosed with cancer” or “Well, my children just burned in a fire” or something to that effect.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/15 "2010-09-14T18:21:13Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#):
>
> I’d have quit but told the management why I quit.
I did.
> [@](#):
>
> And can I just say that that, “Come on, are you in a bad mood? Smile!” bullshit makes me completely insane with rage. If I fucking wanted to smile, then I would be smiling, wouldn’t I? I’m always tempted to respond to that by saying, “Actually I was just diagnosed with cancer” or “Well, my children just burned in a fire” or something to that effect.
This is too funny. I think my default reaction to “Smile!” is now “My mom just died.”
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### Author:  [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/16 "2010-09-14T18:25:28Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> Dude, swipe the fucking card already, and stop holding onto it so that you can talk to me for five minutes.
This is a specific complaint to be brought to the gym management. I have a very short window of time I can work out in, and every minute Mr.FuckingFlirty is holding onto my card is a minute I’m not making my ass smaller.
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### Author:  [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/17 "2010-09-14T18:26:37Z")
Yeah. I would quit and complain. I would want the ownership to know they have two guys working there who cannot take a hint and are either overeager,over friendly, or looking to get into the customer’s pants. But, complaining would not make me feel comfortable there. In fact, I would feel worse. If they were still there I would feel like they knew I complained. And, if they weren’t I would feel like I got them fired and feel bad about it.
Unless it’s a really good and cheap gym that you can’t get anything close to elsewhere. Then fuck it. Let those losers rot and don’t make them make you miss out on something awesome.
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### Author:  [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/18 "2010-09-14T18:27:15Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#):
>
> LOL. Who voted for “Strangle them both”?
I did, of course. Because I’m, well, surly. But I know exactly what you mean about being uncomfortable. Even if they stopped the behavior, you’d know they were still _thinking_ about it and cursing you silently.
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### Author:  [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/19 "2010-09-14T18:30:24Z")
Quit, then strangle them both (use a garrote if your upper body strength really isn’t up to it), and then bill the management for taking care of their problem employees. Plus you’ve helped a little bit with your local unemployment stats.
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### Author:  [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/20 "2010-09-14T18:36:03Z")
I would complain. I couldn’t _not_ complain if I was that annoyed by something. Somebody’s going to have to hear about it, is my view.
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