# Assholes at the gym: A "What would you do?" and "Here's what I did" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744 "2010-09-14T17:26:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/61 "2010-09-14T21:49:38Z")
But at Curves, you’d probably be gushed over your appearance by all the women trying to lose weight! ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/62 "2010-09-14T21:55:14Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > It is a male/female thing, in my mind anyway. How about an obviously gay male employee following you around and hitting on you? Would that bother you at all more, or the same amount? ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/63 "2010-09-14T22:02:33Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > Every time I checked in, I would have felt awkward if I had yelled “Shut the fuck up!” at them. I like you **MOL** , but if you keep this shit up you really need to change your name. ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/64 "2010-09-14T22:11:10Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > 'Tis a different world out there for women. (I probably shouldn’t continue texting in the car.) It’s not. It’s the same world. You just don’t notice the weird social situations that women have to deal with because you don’t have to, just as I and many women don’t notice the weird social situations that men deal with because we don’t have to. All of this goes on all the time – it’s just a matter of what one pays attention to. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/65 "2010-09-14T22:55:32Z")
You should have complained before quitting. I kid, I kid. I understand your actions, just think its a pity they’ve managed to push you out rather than them going. Ive seen similar at gyms before and often wondered how much they cost a business. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/66 "2010-09-14T23:02:16Z")
> [@gallows\_fodder](#): > > > [@Leaffan](#): > > > > 'Tis a different world out there for women. (I probably shouldn’t continue texting in the car.) > > It’s not. It’s the same world. You just don’t notice the weird social situations that women have to deal with because you don’t have to, just as I and many women don’t notice the weird social situations that men deal with because we don’t have to. All of this goes on all the time – it’s just a matter of what one pays attention to. To be fair, there was a gym-rage thread not too long ago where some guy was complaining that this other guy was in his way when he wanted to get weights from the rack, and I said, “Um, why don’t you just say ‘Excuse me’?” He said he didn’t want to start a fight. I realized then that men are weird and I’m glad I’m not one. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2010, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/67 "2010-09-14T23:16:04Z")
I voted quit because I hate confrontation and I wouldn’t want to deal with the awkwardness if they were reprimanded because of my complaint. And I would be reminded of the confrontation/awkwardness every time I stepped into the gym. I read somewhere that 96% of customers won’t complain about bad service, and 90% won’t return, so I’m not alone. There are plenty of alternative gyms to go to, and I know it’s lazy and cowardly, but I don’t care. If the gym can’t get it together enough to hire people who won’t constantly irritate me, it’s not my responsibility to educate them. As others have said, maybe there are some people who enjoy that kind of customer service and will be disappointed if the Creepy McChattersons tone it down. And I say this as someone who is buddy buddy with a lot of the instructors and regulars at my gym. For me it makes the gym experience more enjoyable - primarily because they’re friendly, not creepy, and also because I’m a busybody and they have good gossip. But a lot of people want to get in, do their workout and leave - I can usually tell who those people are just by their body cues, and would absolutely expect the gym staff to leave them alone, especially if the person has made it explicit that they’re not interested in advice. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/68 "2010-09-15T00:10:56Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > > > Every time I checked in, I would have felt awkward if I had yelled “Shut the fuck up!” at them. > > I like you **MOL** , but if you keep this shit up you really need to change your name. I almost cried during _The Lion King_. Truth. > [@Otara](#): > > I understand your actions, just think its a pity they’ve managed to push you out rather than them going. I kind of feel the same way, but I just can’t be bothered. > [@Kayeby](#): > > I voted quit because I hate confrontation and I wouldn’t want to deal with the awkwardness if they were reprimanded because of my complaint. And I would be reminded of the confrontation/awkwardness every time I stepped into the gym. > > I read somewhere that 96% of customers won’t complain about bad service, and 90% won’t return, so I’m not alone. I know, which is why it’s somewhat surprising that nearly everyone here said they would complain, when most people just take their money and go. Complaining as I left wasn’t so bad, but there was no way in hell I was going to keep going there after I complained. > [@](#): > > But a lot of people want to get in, do their workout and leave - I can usually tell who those people are just by their body cues, and would absolutely expect the gym staff to leave them alone, especially if the person has made it explicit that they’re not interested in advice. No kidding! Even if you’re socially weird and don’t read cues very well, you’d think they’d be able to understand words like, “No,” or “I will let you know if I need your help,” or “I am not interested in lifting weights.” He bothered me every single time I went, jeez, I wish I were exaggerating. So I just Googled Curves, and it looks really crappy. I thought they were a regular gym, just for women only, but they’ve got some program involved. They do a 30-minute circuit of boring, lame exercises, have nutritional guidance and put on contests, etc. It sounds like a bunch of chick crap. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/69 "2010-09-15T00:30:38Z")
> [@Kayeby](#): > > I voted quit because I hate confrontation and I wouldn’t want to deal with the awkwardness if they were reprimanded because of my complaint. And I would be reminded of the confrontation/awkwardness every time I stepped into the gym. > > I read somewhere that 96% of customers won’t complain about bad service, and 90% won’t return, so I’m not alone. There are plenty of alternative gyms to go to, and I know it’s lazy and cowardly, but I don’t care. If the gym can’t get it together enough to hire people who won’t constantly irritate me, it’s not my responsibility to educate them. As others have said, maybe there are some people who enjoy that kind of customer service and will be disappointed if the Creepy McChattersons tone it down. > > And I say this as someone who is buddy buddy with a lot of the instructors and regulars at my gym. For me it makes the gym experience more enjoyable - primarily because they’re friendly, not creepy, and also because I’m a busybody and they have good gossip. Excellent! We have established that 1) You avoid confrontations and are lazy and even cowardly, and you thereby making situations worse 2) You acknowledge that others don’t complain, and feel justified by it and 3) you’re a busybody. You have the self awareness but feel no remorse or desire to improve yourself? Why, exactly, did you decide to share this with us, to assuage your guilt for being passive aggressive? > [@MeanOldLady](#): > > I know, which is why it’s somewhat surprising that nearly everyone here said they would complain, when most people just take their money and go. Complaining as I left wasn’t so bad, but there was no way in hell I was going to keep going there after I complained. > \ > So I just Googled Curves, and it looks really crappy. I thought they were a regular gym, just for women only, but they’ve got some program involved. They do a 30-minute circuit of boring, lame exercises, have nutritional guidance and put on contests, etc. It sounds like a bunch of chick crap. The dope is full of people who make their voices heard, hence people complaining to address the issue. Plus, at least I think, they generally like to be on the up and up about things. I agree with what you did in the situation, but overall I think it’s much better to communicate. Heh, thank goodness, I was concerned you already knew what Curves was and inexplicably wanted to go anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/70 "2010-09-15T01:00:58Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > \ > The dope is full of people who make their voices heard\ I would say the Dope is full of people who _say_ they make their voices heard. The Dope is also full of people who have an IQ over 200 and a 14 inch penis. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/71 "2010-09-15T01:10:46Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Excellent! We have established that 1) You avoid confrontations and are lazy and even cowardly, and you thereby making situations worse 2) You acknowledge that others don’t complain, and feel justified by it and 3) you’re a busybody. You have the self awareness but feel no remorse or desire to improve yourself? Why, exactly, did you decide to share this with us, to assuage your guilt for being passive aggressive? Well in her and the bulk of people’s defense, we’re talking about a business with shitty staff here, not women’s suffrage. Typically when I patronize a business whose staff I don’t care for, I just quit going, and don’t say anything. I only complain sometimes when it is particularly egregious, which it was in this case. While we’re here, you asked me about a cancellation fee earlier and I never answered. There was no fee. > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > [@lindsaybluth](#): > > > > \ > > The dope is full of people who make their voices heard\ > > I would say the Dope is full of people who _say_ they make their voices heard. The Dope is also full of people who have an IQ over 200 and a 14 inch penis. I giggled. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/72 "2010-09-15T01:12:55Z")
Im going to take a wild guess that Kayeby and lindsay have some kind of history, because otherwise that seemed a wee bit out of left field. Otara ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/73 "2010-09-15T01:25:06Z")
That was…odd. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/74 "2010-09-15T01:39:02Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > > [@lindsaybluth](#): > > > > \ > > The dope is full of people who make their voices heard\ > > I would say the Dope is full of people who _say_ they make their voices heard. The Dope is also full of people who have an IQ over 200 and a 14 inch penis. Hah! Agreed. But I was moreso saying that by virtue of being on the SDMB, your average person very much so likes making their voice heard by posting. > [@Otara](#): > > Im going to take a wild guess that Kayeby and lindsay have some kind of history, because otherwise that seemed a wee bit out of left field. Nope, I just hate when people don’t address things directly as a way of life, which she admitted. C’mon, if you’re copping to being a busy body, you really must be the Queen Bee of them all. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/75 "2010-09-15T01:40:41Z")
But lots of people said they’d probably just quit. I said I’d complain but to be honest, I might very well just quit because sometimes confrontation is scary. The busybody thing I don’t really care about either way. ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/76 "2010-09-15T01:53:40Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Excellent! We have established that 1) You avoid confrontations and are lazy and even cowardly, and you thereby making situations worse 2) You acknowledge that others don’t complain, and feel justified by it and 3) you’re a busybody. You have the self awareness but feel no remorse or desire to improve yourself? Why, exactly, did you decide to share this with us, to assuage your guilt for being passive aggressive? How is it passive aggressive? An establishment has a practice that I don’t like. I choose to take my business elsewhere. If I have a particular loyalty to that business I might try and improve whatever’s bugging me, but if they can easily be replaced, I’ll just move on. Passive - staying at the gym without saying anything Assertive - trying to remedy the situation\* Aggressive - confronting the staff members in question Passive aggressive - staying at the gym without complaining, but secretly resenting the creepy staff - For you, the situation might be “this gym is staffed by creepy people”. For me, the situation would be “I am uncomfortable at this gym”. Thus your remedy would be to complain and mine would be to find another gym. From my perspective, complaining may or may not fix the creepy staff problem, but the odds are pretty good that it would create a _new_ uncomfortableness problem. The busybody thing was just self-deprecating shorthand for how the regulars and instructors give me insider gym gossip. I don’t even know what this Queen Bee thing is - that’s just random. ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/77 "2010-09-15T01:57:25Z")
I dont see it so much as scary as lifes too short and sometimes you decide how much effort the confrontation will take vs other options. Confronting everything is a recipe for a very grumpy life, as is avoiding everything, its the balance thats the tricky bit. And lots of people use self deprecating language to describe themselves, so ‘queen bee’ is a bit of a jump in my book. Edit: ha! Otara ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/78 "2010-09-15T04:37:07Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > > > Quit, then strangle them both (use a garrote if your upper body strength really isn’t up to it), and then bill the management for taking care of their problem employees. Plus you’ve helped a little bit with your local unemployment stats. > > Please leave the evil-advice-giving to me, Lynn. I don’t tell people how to make homemade Tootsie Rolls. Look, buster, I was giving evil advice back on the AOL SDMB. I’ve got SENIORITY. And the old AOLers might even remember my Cousin Vinnie, who was consigned to the sock drawer before you even registered here. Seriously, I DO think that any customer in that situation isn’t obliged to notify management of why s/he is no longer a customer. That’s management’s job. And once management has been put on notice that one or more of their employees is harassing customers, they need to be on the lookout for it. And that’s what this behavior is, really, it’s harassment. ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/79 "2010-09-15T04:50:08Z")
> [@lindsaybluth](#): > > Nope, I just hate when people don’t address things directly as a way of life, which she admitted. C’mon, if you’re copping to being a busy body, you really must be the Queen Bee of them all. Not wanting to complain at a gym is hardly indicative of a “way of life.” And I think you’re blowing the “busybody” observation way out of proportion. I took it as a humorous exaggeration. ---
**Author:** ![Containing\_Iron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@Containing\_Iron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Containing_Iron)\ **Post date:** [September 15, 2010, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744/80 "2010-09-15T05:49:51Z")
I think I would say something about asshole 1, but thankfully that point is moot at my gym, because we start our exercises with swiping our own cards through the reader\* asshole 2 would probably mean I’d quit without saying something, because I’m not really assertive (on the other hand, I’m almost always exercising with headphones in, and the trainers get the hint) If the people of the gym asked me why I quit, I’d tell them, but only if they ask… I’m not responsible for their continued existence. \*not really true, it’s more a key/memory stick that you swipe over the reader so that the door opens, but you get my drift [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-at-the-gym-a-what-would-you-do-and-heres-what-i-did/553744.md?page=5)