# Assholes don't belong there! They belong here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 5, 2000, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214 "2000-08-05T05:40:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/21 "2000-08-05T16:10:45Z")
HEY! do not fuck with Ultress. She is one of the more sensitive and intelligent posters on this board ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/22 "2000-08-05T16:16:20Z")
Gee, I was just about to give **Ultress** the award for Best Use of Unintentional Bolding. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/23 "2000-08-05T16:20:35Z")
Thank you, thank you. I accept the award with much humbleness. It’s my first on the board. See the next time I try to bold somebody’s name! ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/24 "2000-08-05T16:30:32Z")
**"HEY! do not fuck with Ultress. She is one of the more sensitive and intelligent posters on this board"** And she is also a raving party animal having had first hand experience with that. Her taste in music is awesome and that accent is so cute. I didn’t realize she could tear things up so well… good thing we are on friendly terms… right Ultress? ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/25 "2000-08-05T16:36:24Z")
Upon reflection, I have come to agree that more compassion and caring is needed in the Warm Hole (_nee_ Barbecue Pit. The Warm Hole would then be a more friendly, cuddlesome place. It is obviously true that FF is rectally fixated. But many Zen teachers suggest contemplation of the navel. FF has merely moved his attention to a more fundamental orifice. Nothing wrong with that! Poor dear probably had fewer toys to play with as a child. Does it really matter that Ultress is a lesbian Nazi terrorist, or that SilverFire is her love slave? Some women run with the wolves, others were raised by them. Is it really up to us to judge? As to the poster mentioned above, keep in mind that recent research indicates that one is born Swedish, it is inherited and the victim has no option in the matter. Millions of people have been born Swedish, it simply isn’t thier fault. Of **course** it is more difficult for them to be articulate, thier language is clotted with _umlauts_. What does it say about a people who uproot themselves, endure endless hardships and travel thousands of miles to live in Minnesota? Clearly, compassion is called for. We should be more gentle in our judgement of Libertarians. Grad school happens to some people, sometimes, they arent really at fault if they get Leon Trotsky all buggered up with Ayn Rand. Let us move forward, inspired by Crown Prince George W., to a kindler, gentler Barbecue Pit, where we will lightly warm our tofu and season it sensibly with harmless joshing. **WARNING!!** This post is fraught with sarcasm! Persons who are sarcasm-intolerant should not attempt to read this post and chew gum at the same time!! ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/26 "2000-08-05T16:40:54Z")
Feynn of course we will always be the best of friends. My best friend aha always defends me. And I think that I shall really enjoy the posts of elucidator, for some reason he makes absolute sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/27 "2000-08-05T16:52:54Z")
You know **Freak,** you really are starting to sound like a whiner. Do you want to stop or shall I grab you a tissue? ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/28 "2000-08-05T19:43:56Z")
Freak- I’m not about to get into a line by line argument with you. It’s not worth it. It seems to me your only just trying to emulate a few other posters around here who’ve done just that. Maybe you could emulate their wit and creativity as well with your _own_ posts. Their’s were thought provoking. Your’s made me think, Huh? What Ultress said did not warrant a thread in the pit. She was kidding around. People jab each other 'til Sunday around here. It’s part of the gig. She’s already addressed that and I’ll leave that one alone. You then say there are more like that and give a link. I read it and the link within it. Sorry. I don’t see the connection your trying to make. One final note. Am I stalking you? Hardly. But since your averaging around twelve posts a day since you’ve joined, it’s hard to avoid your input. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/29 "2000-08-05T21:40:02Z")
**WE INTERRUPT THIS WAR FOR A BRIEF PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT** At the risk of getting caught in the crossfire, I’m gonna make a couple points. **Freak** , you’re over the edge on this one– **ultress’** comment was nothing particularly mean or nasty. It was nothing more than most of us do at various times in MPSIMS, or in the other forums. It was supposed to be funny. Granted it fell flat because **Anniz** is Swedish and obviously not a native speaker/writer of English…but she is too new here for people to necessarily realize that, and **ultress** didn’t. And you will note in the thread that **Anniz** did not take offense–why should you take offense on her behalf when she herself didn’t? Your girlfriend is Swedish, and you yourself want to move to Sweden, correct? I think that has made you overreact to what you perceived as a slight to a Swedish girl–in effect identifying **Anniz** with your girfriend. Think about it–if she was French, or Chinese, or Mexican, would you have reacted the same way? I think it’s very likely that you would not. I apologize to all for attempting to be reasonable in the Pit. You may resume firing. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 9:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/30 "2000-08-06T09:02:42Z")
**Ultress** - Cripes! You think this thread is devoted to you, don’t you? Hell, you even seem to think that **elucidator** agrees with you! I’d like to say **once again** this wasn’t aimed at you. This wasn’t aimed at **anyone** in particular. In fact, when I mentioned you it was only because Byz asked for a particular instance, and that was the latest one I’d seen. It really wasn’t meant to be a personal attack. I don’t know you well enough to even dislike you. And if you didn’t mean it as an insult, I’m sorry, but that’s just the way it appeared to me. If I’m wrong, then I apologize. But in that case, I’d better make a habit of apologizing if I’m gonna have to say sorry every time I’m wrong. And I don’t see why you’re **so** pissed if my opinion means **so** little to you. I wasn’t pissed at you. I didn’t even flame you, I just criticized you. But then you \*\*completely[/n] overreacted, came in, and flamed me with a bunch of petty insults. Now, I **am** pissed. And so, I’m going to respong in kind. Got your safety helmet on? Good. Now get ready, cuz here it comes… > [@](#): > > If you would be so kind Kind? This concept seems so foreign to you I’m surprised you even know the word for it. > [@](#): > > I’ve yet to see a single post of yours that really adds anything to any thread on this board. I could say the same to you. But then, it’s all a matter of perspective, isn’t it? And you know what’s the difference between our perspectives? Mine’s right. > [@](#): > > And just now viewing your post count, it seems you have little else to do. Which I can answer with your own words: > [@](#): > > You do not know me, nor do you know my nature. My but you’re full of contradictions. No wait, I think you’re full of something else entirely… > [@](#): > > Byz is right in her view. You mean when she said “Yes, it wasn’t very nice and yes, she could have just let it ride since it’s MPSIMS”? > [@](#): > > If you would concentrate more on your on posts and less on those of other people And it seems that’s exactly what you’re doing, because you completely missed my point, and Byz’s. Shall I take you for an example? > [@](#): > > Your opinion, as with many others on the board who feel the same way I do, means absolutely nothing to me. So if my opinion doesn’t matter to you, and nor does the opinion of people that feel the same way as you, then who’s opinion **does** matter to you? Your own? Gee, that’s pretty self-centered. But then, I’m not surprised. > [@](#): > > Who died and made you the overseer of what anyone else wants to post, or the forum that they want to post their threads in. If I shouldn’t have an opinion on what other people post, than why should you have an opinion on what I post? Because that’s all I ever stated, my opinion. I didn’t ask a moderator to start deleting any insults that are in MPSIMS. > [@](#): > > We were teasing. That kinda sounds like what Drainthelizard said after his holocaust remark: “Ha ha, it was a joke! What a dumb-fuck you are for not realizing it.” > [@](#): > > What a pain in the behind you are Hey, if you don’t like it, just tell me to stop fucking you. > [@](#): > > If you don’t like it, then don’t read it. How can I tell if I like something or not before I even read it? > [@](#): > > Strange, I haven’t seen my name mentioned in any thread on this board, much less one that says I am cruel. Actually, when I said that I wasn’t the only one who’s noticed it, or thought you were being cruel in that post, I was referring to a poster who agreed with me on AIM. A rather established poster, in fact. But I’m not going to name names, if that’s what you’re looking for, since that’s what got me into this mess in the first place. If she wants to step forward, she can. But I’m not gonna cut’n’paste what she said to me about you. But here’s a tip for you to follow in the future: Just because you don’t **hear** people calling you a bitch, doesn’t mean they aren’t (oops, actually, that was a **different** poster who told me he thought you were a bitch [I forgot that there wasn’t just one]). > [@](#): > > You don’t even want to be in this country, and I can believe that there are probably people near to you that will celebrate the day you leave. Yeah they will, it’s called a going away party. And usually, it means they’re _sorry_ to see you go. But I dunno, maybe the going away party dedicated to you was different. You know, when you departed for space? Too bad you had to come back. Oh, by the way, they called. You left your head there, it’s waiting for you in lost and found. They would’ve sent it back, but they didn’t know it belonged to a human. > [@](#): > > How dare you come on this board and fester it with your boils and sores of hatred. Ha! And to think this was said in the midst of a page-long insult. How ironic. Besides, I don’t hate anyone. I hate a lot of things, but I don’t hate people. And the fact that I hate you, only shows what category I believe you’re in. > [@](#): > > Your language and posts lack intelligence, depth, and rarely make any sense at all, more rants and raves than information. And **this** was said in the midst of a rant filled with garbled vB code, questions without question marks, and lame-ass insults like “butthead”. That said, you’re like the Wicked Bitch of the East. In fact, you’re not even very good at being a bitch. You’re like a yapping chihuaha that humps every male’s leg she comes across. And yet, at the same time, you act like you’re so damn refined. Well, I’ve got news for you. You can refine shit, and it’ll still be shit. Go bark up some other tree, I’ve got enough bark as it is. The only difference is, I have some bite too. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/31 "2000-08-06T09:04:05Z")
Oops, looks like I just pulled an **Ultress**. ---
**Author:** ![FreakFreely](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/48db29/32.png) [@FreakFreely](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FreakFreely)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/32 "2000-08-06T09:41:24Z")
**Duckgoo, achoo, and Feigned-** It’s good to know you’ll all be there to kiss her ass anytime she needs you. Or perhaps you’re just looking to get laid? Hey wait, there’s another gullible bitch over in GQ who wants an ego boost! **D.A.F.** to the rescue! **CnoteChris-** You’re right, what she said didn’t warrant a pit thread. This thread isn’t about her. And the fact that you continue to think it is after I explained it to you only shows how narrow-minded you are. Or maybe you just have **ultress** on the brain. Be careful man, that shit can have you so fucked-up you’ll start sounding like Emu Phillips. And that thread I linked wasn’t intended to be an example of yet more of her trash-talking. It was intended to be an example of someone else trash-talking in MPSIMS, which was the point of the OP (yes, I did have a point). **MysterEcks** - Thanks for at least **trying** to bring reason into this thread. Actually, it had nothing to do with my girlfriend. In fact, I thought it was an over-the-top comment before I even knew she was Swedish. But if she wasn’t offended, then apparently I was wrong, apparently it wasn’t offensive. Or maybe **Anniz** just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. I don’t know, I can’t read minds. And I can’t know what **ultress’** intentions were. I’m just going on what I thought I saw. Thanks for trying though. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/33 "2000-08-06T12:37:02Z")
Freak- Since your so Hell bent on creating a fight hear, and your fondness for line by line criticism (it must make the issue easier for you to understand ::snort::snicker:: ) here you go. From Freak: > [@](#): > > **You’re right, what she said didn’t warrant a pit thread. This thread isn’t about her. And the fact that you continue to think it is after I explained it to you only shows how narrow-minded you are.** I only think this because of your lone link and this quote. > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > \*\* > > In response to your original post, I didn’t think Ultress was out of line. > > Well, I thought she was. I think it was a deliberately cruel thing to say, and cruelty of any kind is uncalled for in MPSIMS. And it’s not the first time she’s said something like that, and I’m not the only person who’s noticed it.\*\* Let me see hear, ‘It’s not about her, but is it is, and she did, and your narrow minded not to see it’. Well. Thanks for clearing that up. > [@](#): > > **Or maybe you just have ultress on the brain. Be careful man, that shit can have you so fucked-up you’ll start sounding like Emu Phillips.** Or even worse… You. > [@](#): > > **And that thread I linked wasn’t intended to be an example of yet more of her trash-talking. It was intended to be an example of someone else trash-talking in MPSIMS, which was the point of the OP (yes, I did have a point).** So your whole point of this thread is trash talking in MPSIMS? Get a Fucking clue. People do it all over these boards. Given the right context, it is not only routinely done in the other forums here, it’s expected. Your one arrogant Fuck if you can join the same time I did and somehow now decide you now know what’s best for this board and how they should be used. I’m still learning the nuances of the forums and the characteristics of the posters here. You seem to have grasped it only a matter of months. Where the Hell did you get that knowledge? Is it because you’ve done nothing but post from day one that gives you this insight? Please. That only means you have a shitload of pointless information that you want to spread all accross this board. People were here long before you showed up. Their understanding of the board is far more meaningful to me and others than your tenuous understanding and personal belief. ---
**Author:** ![CnoteChris](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/278dde/32.png) [@CnoteChris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CnoteChris)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/34 "2000-08-06T13:08:46Z")
I just fully read your response to ultress. You are one fucked up puppy. While not directed at me, I have never been more offended by a post on this board. The bullshit you spew is truly obnoxious. Your about to get your ass handed to you by other posters better adept at that kind of thing than I. With that last post to ultress, I hardly feel any sympathy for you and your fucked up trailer-trash sense of wit and perspective. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/35 "2000-08-06T13:28:39Z")
Let’s rate his little rant: Content: 3 (nothing really worth reading) Originality: 0 (I’ve been called a bitch by better than him) References: 0 (made up I’m sure, any poster that has any merit here would have the guts to email me if they had a problem with me) Meaningless Rants and Raves: 10 (he makes no points at all worth typing) I think it’s time to send the little boy to conventry. He’ll get himself banned quick enough on his own. This type of poster is best left in conventry until that happens. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/36 "2000-08-06T15:29:26Z")
Look I’ve read the “offending post” that ultress is supposed to have been so rude in. She was obviously kidding. If the poster would have put in a disclaimer ie sorry but english is my second or third language, then ultress would never had said anything at all. FreakFreely: > [@](#): > > Guess what, flaming is fun! Really? You don’t seem to like it all that much when it’s aimed at you. > [@](#): > > And it’s not the first time she’s said something like that, and I’m not the only person who’s noticed it. Is that suppose to induce paranoia? Ok, names son… give us names or have you been secretly authorized to speak for the “Coalition of People Who may Have Called ultress a Bitch”? If so, give us references. Any person anywhere has the right to face their accuser. > [@](#): > > I was referring to a poster who agreed with me on AIM. A rather established poster, in fact. But I’m not going to name names, if that’s what you’re looking for, since that’s what got me into this mess in the first place. If she wants to step forward, she can. But I’m not gonna cut’n’paste what she said to me about you. > > But here’s a tip for you to follow in the future: Just because you don’t hear people calling you a bitch, doesn’t mean they aren’t (oops, actually, that was a different poster who told me he thought you were a bitch [I forgot that there wasn’t just one]). Once again names! Without names and references, the above two paragraphs are complete babble. Of course they are babble either way since they are straight out of the “stitch and bitch club” gossip mentality. > [@](#): > > But here’s a tip for you to follow in the future I can’t speak for ultress, I can only defend her has a truly nice and intelligent poster. But if I where her, I would tell you to take your tips and roll them in a cylindrical fashion, sit on them and rotate 365 degrees. > [@](#): > > And if you didn’t mean it as an insult, I’m sorry Those kinds of statements are admired here on the SDMB. Good place to stop typing. Too bad you didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/37 "2000-08-06T15:34:17Z")
Freak- I don’t kiss ass, I kick it. There’s a world of difference between the two. I met Ultress at our Edmonton Dopefest, she is a nice lady. I appreciated her humour in the “finding a man” thread. You really seem to be blowing your load over nothing here but I hear that this happens to young guys fairly often. ---
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/38 "2000-08-06T16:34:25Z")
FWIW, I agree with Freak. But ah well, I’m probably overreacting, yes? And Feynn? Nice in RL and nice on the board are often two different things. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/39 "2000-08-06T16:40:30Z")
Ah, well yes they are Falcon. I thought that we had gotten over that, seems I remember that you apologized for that and I accepted and also apologized to you, how quickly we forget. Did I miss something somewhere? Why is it that you are so nice to me in chat but yet on the board it’s a different story? I don’t think I’ve done or said anything to ruffle your feathers. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2000, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214/40 "2000-08-06T17:33:56Z")
There comes a time to drop all sarcasm and humor and speak from the heart. Lord, how I hate that! But the time is now. International House of Pancakes (INHOP), the Pit is a refuge for the curmudgeon, a place to vent the spleen, sling the shit and the devil take the hindmost. There are some people who simply will not sully themselves here, and more power to them. As a corrupt and cantankerous reprobate, I _need_ a place where you can fire away \… **without worrying about hurting somebody’s goddam feelings!!!**. If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the Pit! If you **can** get down, get funky, let 'er rip!! If you’re worried about getting your Goody Two Shoes all messy, this isn’t the place for you. If you can take it and laugh, and dish it back out, jump on in!!! Let’s have us some of that **nasty** fun that the nice folks don’t get any of!! It’s **GOOD** for you, it builds character!! As my Daddy used to say “Don’t worry about what people are thinking about you, they **aren’t** thinking about you!” I’m nasty, ill-tempered and sarcastic, and I dont play well with others. You might be the exception, if you got a sharp wit and a thick skin to go with it. As Teddy Roosevelts daughter Alice said, “If you haven’t got something nice to say, come sit here by me” It oughta be the Pit’s motto. Wanna mud wrestle? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-dont-belong-there-they-belong-here/28214.md?page=3)