# Assholes, the jealous, and mediocretins. Cemetary Savior, spoke-, Fessie, Treis, etc **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 12, 2005, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591 "2005-05-12T19:24:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/81 "2005-05-12T21:36:01Z")
> [@Cemetery Savior](#): > > Mr. Lute, are you calling me self-aggrandizing? 🙂 Well, no, but you are exhibiting the same behavior that **Finn** was accused of. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/82 "2005-05-12T21:37:51Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > You’re being a moron. > You have one case study, of your own childhood. > And you seek to extend this to the entire sociocultural dynamic of all children in all schools, everywhere? > > Stand by your statements all you like, you’re still ignorant and loud mouthed. 😃 How am I being a loud mouth and ignorant? I didn’t realize the statement that being an asshole is problematic while being smart isn’t was so controversial. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > Luckily, I didn’t do that. > Try again Kreskin. I never said you did. I am pretty sure I claimed that you being an asshole was the problem. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > Yeah, when people attack me I respond… what an ass! I should just take your idiocy laying down. Why, no child in no school, ever, was teased for being smart. Treis says it, so it must be true! See this is exactly what I mean. You take a statement (that I never said by the way) and have blown it out of proportion. \*\* Cemetery Savior \*\*'s comment was not insulting or an attack but your response certainly was. You decided you would rather result to personal attacks instead of just responding to my statement. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > Again, this tactic is just slimey. Insult someone, and then insult them again for responding to your insult? Fucking coward. How exactly did I insult you in the post you linked? I merely made a comment that intelligence isn’t an impediment in socializing rather being an asshole is the usual culprit. I never said you were an asshole nor did you even mention having a problem socializing. You on the other hand have called me loud mouthed, ignorant, an asshole, a fucking coward and a moron. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > For fuck’s sake, have some courage! > > I responded to insult and confrontation by, (on no!) being confrontational and pointing out that people had no content and were just being snarky. Sorry, but I do get to defend myself. He made an Allanis Morsette joke for crying out loud. You misinterpted the thread in an ironic way and he made a quip about it. Jeez if everytime that happened on this board and a pit thread resulted the SDMB would have to double the hamsters. > [@FinnAgain](#): > > By the way, you going to retract your bullshit about how all children grow up just like you did? This is hilarious you keep on attributing things to me that I never said. I never said nor came close to implying that all children grew up just like me. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/83 "2005-05-12T21:38:21Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Damn, you’re condescending. That reflects more on you than on your target; and this time, the Alanisirony ain’t lost. > Daniel When I first made that remark, it was in a spirit of fun. Because raising kids is such an ironic experience - 2/3 of what we value in ourselves as adults ceases to matter. Intellect, vocabulary, achievements - out the window. Being a mother is a unique experience, although a man who stayed home to raise the kids would no doubt experience the same. It’s so humbling. And that’s a good thing. But now this FinnButt has pissed me off good. I think he’s a pretentious ass who’d like nothing more than a 10-page thread dedicated to his “intellect”. I have no idea if I’ve run in to him before, but I resent the hell out of his pollution of what was an interesting thread. I just don’t care about his silliness. His ego wasn’t the point. And I’ll give you one more bit of irony, since my name’s in the header and all that - we’re exactly alike. He sounds exactly like I did about 25 years ago, spouting off about how difficult it is to be soooooooo much smarter than everyone else. Except my spelling’s a lot better. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/84 "2005-05-12T21:39:11Z")
> [@Try As I Might...](#): > > However, you got sucked into an argument in that thread and lost your temper. badly, imo. Naw, that’s mildly losing my temper. When people insult me, I generally respond in kind. I really hate this mentality, this “I’ll push you right to the edge, and when you respond, it’s all your fault.” That dog won’t hunt. > [@Try As I Might...](#): > > In this thread, while I realize that the website you referred to is a joke, you chose the above title. Are “assholes” and “the jealous” also jokes? Because clearly "mediocretins " must have been. If so, consider me wooshed. As I said, I’m using one of its constructed meanings as “someone who flips out when they see a display of intelligence/competence without false modesty attatched.” Totally non-tongue in cheek, but the rest of the SubGenius humor is being left out in this instance. > [@Try As I Might...](#): > > I do however find it disturbing that you keep referring to modesty as some sort of societal tool designed to inhibit your inner uber-man. Modesty, to me, is a sign of maturity. Modesty is a sign that you can’t take pride in your own accomplishments because your sucesses might just make someone else feel less sucessful. I see nothing mature about having to hide who you are in order that people don’t attack you. Should the greatest piano player in the world pretend he’s not that good? Should Kasparov introduce himself as ‘just some guy who likes games.’ ? Should a world class whatever-the-fuck have to hide and be afraid of mentioning his/her accomplishments, for fear that some idiot somewhere will take offense because they don’t have the same gifts? Modesty, as such, is a ridiculous standard of behavior. Now, one doesn’t have to toot their own horn as an alternative. But we don’t even want people to be quietly confident or relate a freakin’ story if the point is that they caught shit for being intelligent. > [@Try As I Might...](#): > > You can be assertive and even proud of your accomplishments. Not if you’re being modest. “Yeah… running a three minute mile is nothing special, I’m sure I just got lucky.” Moreoever, I wasn’t acting proud of my accomplishments, merely relating an anecdote of how high school was rough for me. That’s not even **close** to tooting my own horn, and yet I was jumped on for it. > [@Try As I Might...](#): > > Lastly, you never have to lie, but you don’t have to use yourself as the example. I can speak with authority as to my own experiences, I can speak with much less authority on other people’s. And at least one poster in the other thread did tell me to lie, in plain English. And why the heck should I have to talk about a friend anyways? This happened to me, this was my time in school. I told a short story of how high school was rough for me. That’s it. I shouldn’t be required to dredge up other people who might’ve felt somewhat similar. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/85 "2005-05-12T21:42:45Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > When I first made that remark, it was in a spirit of fun. Because raising kids is such an ironic experience - 2/3 of what we value in ourselves as adults ceases to matter. Intellect, vocabulary, achievements - out the window. Being a mother is a unique experience, although a man who stayed home to raise the kids would no doubt experience the same. It’s so humbling. Honestly, I wouldn’t know it from your posts: your posts have the sort of supercilious, “You kids are too young to understand!” attitude that’s infuriated me ever since I was a wee tot. They lack anything remotely resembling humility. I suspect that you’ve forgotten, on a visceral level, the experience of childhood and adolescence, and no longer empathize with it. You come across as comfortably arrogant with the arrogance of the middle-aged. Which is your prerogative, of course, but isn’t an attitude that makes me think you’ve been successfully humbled. Daniel ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/86 "2005-05-12T21:43:50Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > I pointed out that you missed the point of the OP in response to this paragraph of yours, which has nothing to do with the conversation the rest of us were having: Good gods you’re a moron. Some people were having a ‘conversation’ which consisted of accusing me of all those neat little things I rebut in that quote of mine. So were you just being an asshole in telling me by couldn’t reply to them, or you were just being an asshole for the fun of it? The text you just quoted was **in response** to someone else. I had **already** pointed out, myself, that I had missed the point of the OP. I had apologized, and been forgiven. What good, pray tell, do you think pointing that out would do? > [@fessie](#): > > I didn’t read all of your gibberish b/c you’re really not all that interesting. Translation: “I don’t read what you post but I’m still gonna comment on it, and um, that’s somehow your fault.” ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/87 "2005-05-12T21:45:36Z")
> [@Cemetery Savior](#): > > It’s a flipping board thread. I get the idea that if we were to meet in person in 5 minutes, you’d try and take a poke at me. Relax, Mr. Again. If you can’t understand that there’s a huge difference between responding, in kind, to insults on a message board and starting a physical fight in meatspace… I don’t know what to say to you. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/88 "2005-05-12T21:46:37Z")
Mr. Savior, Finn made one post, and you hit him with the Alanis joke, fine no biggie, we expect that sort of friendly ribbing. Then, 50 posts later, he comes back in to apologize for being wooshed, and you say he’s cracking you up, as though he’s been in there defending a silly position the whole time. He came back to apologize, accept it and move on. Is it a big deal? Not really, but he responded back and -spoke got into it, then it became a free for all with 4 people all calling him a jerk, when, for a full 2 pages prior, there was a tiny handful of people making light humor with his faux pas. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/89 "2005-05-12T21:46:59Z")
Yeah, I have to say, I don’t really get where the “Oh, he insulted you, but he didn’t really _mean_ it” people are coming from. I can mess around like that with my friends, 'cause they’re my friends, and they know I’m kidding. I don’t mess around like that with strangers, because strangers don’t know me well enough to know when I’m “really actually” insulting them, or only “just pretend” insulting them. If I were **Finn** , I’d be pissed as hell, and probably not be handling it half as calmly as he is. And, for the record, if you still think Alanis Morrisette “ironic” jokes are funny… just stop trying. There’s no hope for you. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/90 "2005-05-12T21:49:23Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > And, for the record, if you still think Alanis Morrisette “ironic” jokes are funny… just stop trying. There’s no hope for you. What if you make them realizing they’re not funny, as sort of a postmodern commentary on linguistic misuse? Wouldn’t that be ironic? Daniel ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/91 "2005-05-12T21:56:53Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Yeah, I have to say, I don’t really get where the “Oh, he insulted you, but he didn’t really _mean_ it” people are coming from. I can mess around like that with my friends, 'cause they’re my friends, and they know I’m kidding. I don’t mess around like that with strangers, because strangers don’t know me well enough to know when I’m “really actually” insulting them, or only “just pretend” insulting them. If I were **Finn** , I’d be pissed as hell, and probably not be handling it half as calmly as he is. > > And, for the record, if you still think Alanis Morrisette “ironic” jokes are funny… just stop trying. There’s no hope for you. My argument is that \*\* Cemetery Savior\*\*'s joke wasn’t insulting rather it was just good natured ribbing. There is a difference and its not just that he didn’t mean it rather there was no malicious intent in his statement. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/92 "2005-05-12T22:02:10Z")
> [@treis](#): > > How am I being a loud mouth and ignorant? You’ve stated, twice now, that your school experience can not possibly be deviated from, and that intelligence is not ever something that causes children problems. That’s ignorant, as it’s untrue, and it’s loud mouthed since you insist on peddling your ignorance as if it means anything. > [@treis](#): > > I never said you did. I am pretty sure I claimed that you being an asshole was the problem. Coward. You clearly implied that it wasn’t my intelligence that caused problems, but other factors such as thinking I was ‘better than’ other kids. I quoted you in this OP. And you repeated your idiocy in this thread. > [@treis](#): > > > [@finnagain](#): > > > > Why, no child in no school, ever, was teased for being smart. > > See this is exactly what I mean. You take a statement (that I never said by the way) and have blown it out of proportion. Treis, you’re a lying piece of shit and a coward. > [@](#): > > The amount of friends you have has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with being a friendly, down to earth, humble and frankly just a nice person. > [@](#): > > I stand by my statements intelligence does not prevent anyone from making friends. Intelligence **can** limit children in making friends, and **can** lead to them being teased and picked on. But please, deny what you’ve said when I can quote you. That’ll work! > [@finnagain](#): > > \*\* Cemetery Savior \*\*'s comment was not insulting or an attack but your response certainly was. Riiiiight… saying it was ‘ironic’, and thus suggesting that I was like one of those bragging parents isn’t an insult. Suuuuuuure. > [@finnagain](#): > > You decided you would rather result to personal attacks instead of just responding to my statement. Good gods, stop lying. My comments in response to cemetery have been quoted right here in this thread. I didn’t resort to a personal attack, I said the post was content free and snarky, and it was. I’ve not searched over the thread, but I’m pretty sure it was other folks who took the gloves off and made it personal before I did. After all, a comment that my post was ‘ironic’ is a comment to the effect that I’m just like those obnoxious bragging parents. For god’s sake, have some courage, it won’t kill you. > [@finnagain](#): > > How exactly did I insult you in the post you linked? I merely made a comment that intelligence isn’t an impediment in socializing rather being an asshole is the usual culprit. Man, this is embarrasing. Please grow some balls, please? You started by saying that people shouldn’t blame problems on intelligence, and went on from there to describe how if someone is friendly and a nice guy, they’ll have no problems. In case you’re wondering, you were claiming that I was bitching about having problems due to my intelligence when in fact, I just must’ve been an asshole in school and that was the reason. Have the courage to admit what you’ve written, please? > [@finnagain](#): > > I never said you were an asshole nor did you even mention having a problem socializing. You on the other hand have called me loud mouthed, ignorant, an asshole, a fucking coward and a moron. You’re all of the above, I’m afraid. “I got a lot of trouble because I was smarter than lots of the kids.” “I wish people would stop blaming their troubles on intelligence! If you’re not an asshole, you’ll have friends.” Yeah… I wonder how I might’ve taken that personally. My bad, I’m sure. :dubious: > [@finnagain](#): > > He made an Allanis Morsette joke for crying out loud. About it being ‘ironic’ that I was just like those parents being pitted. Remind me why that isn’t an insult? > [@finnagain](#): > > This is hilarious you keep on attributing things to me that I never said. I never said nor came close to implying that all children grew up just like me. I’ve just quoted you, you fucking liar. Right above, see? Here it is, again > [@](#): > > Y’know people really need to stop blaming their lack of social skills on intelligent. My ACT score was 7-8 points higher than most of my best friends and my supposed superior intellect never got in the way of us being friends. I also was not friends with the people that were generally assholes and used their intelligence to demean others. The ones that used their fancy pollysyballic words and then looked down on others when they didn’t understand them. The amount of friends you have has nothing to do with intelligence and everything to do with being a friendly, down to earth, humble and frankly just a nice person. > [@](#): > > I stand by my statements intelligence does not prevent anyone from making friends. Acting like you are somehow better than everyone else becuase supposedly you are smarter does. Judging by your demeanor in that thread I think its pretty safe to say whatever social problems you experienced were due to being an ass instead of a genius. Naw, you never suggested that intelligence wasn’t a problem for making friends, or that I must be an asshole since I had problems. Nope… ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/93 "2005-05-12T22:04:10Z")
> [@treis](#): > > My argument is that \*\* Cemetery Savior\*\*'s joke wasn’t insulting rather it was just good natured ribbing. There is a difference and its not just that he didn’t mean it rather there was no malicious intent in his statement. however, to expand on **Miller’s** excellent point, in a _written_ medium, where one’s tongue in cheek isn’t necessarily apparent, unless the object of the ‘good natured ribbing’ is a pal and realizes that it is, indeed ‘good natured ribbing’, then easily misinterpretations of tone happen. when it’s apparent that one’s tone was misinterpreted, the best tactic to take is to say "sorry, was only joking, sorry it wasn’t clear’, vs Nelsonesque “ha-ha”. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/94 "2005-05-12T22:04:11Z")
**Finn** , why are you arguing with yourself? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/95 "2005-05-12T22:08:22Z")
> [@wring](#): > > > [@treis](#): > > > > My argument is that **Cemetery Savior** ’s joke wasn’t insulting rather it was just good natured ribbing. There is a difference and its not just that he didn’t mean it rather there was no malicious intent in his statement. > > however, to expand on **Miller’s** excellent point, in a _written_ medium, where one’s tongue in cheek isn’t necessarily apparent, unless the object of the ‘good natured ribbing’ is a pal and realizes that it is, indeed ‘good natured ribbing’, then easily misinterpretations of tone happen. when it’s apparent that one’s tone was misinterpreted, the best tactic to take is to say "sorry, was only joking, sorry it wasn’t clear’, vs Nelsonesque “ha-ha”. YMMV. Not to mention that the joke itself wasn’t the problem. The problem is where **CS** pointed out the joke after **Finn** apologized. That’s just rubbing it in. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/96 "2005-05-12T22:10:55Z")
> [@fessie](#): > > But now this FinnButt has pissed me off good. I think he’s a pretentious ass who’d like nothing more than a 10-page thread dedicated to his “intellect”. And I’d question what the hell your damage is that responding to insults, or pointing out that being a smart kid can be rough, is a desire to start a ten page thread about my intellect. Whether or not I’m smart isn’t at issue._The fact that y’all are acting like assholes, is._ > [@fessie](#): > > I have no idea if I’ve run in to him before, but I resent the hell out of his pollution of what was an interesting thread. :rolleyes: You weren’t the OP. I apologized to the OP, and was forgiven. Who exactly you taking up arms on behalf of? Moreoever, when I did ‘pollute’ the thread, it was in **response** to what other people were saying about me. Again, if you insult someone, be prepared for them to respond in kind. Whining about it like a fucking child should be beneath you. And then, when I realized people wouldn’t be rational in that thread, I opened a new Pit thread for the assorted assholes, and apologized, in the original thread, for participating in a hijack. What, exactly, is your issue? > [@fessie](#): > > He sounds exactly like I did about 25 years ago, spouting off about how difficult it is to be soooooooo much smarter than everyone else. Listen you dumb bitch, other people in this very thread, one of whom has been attacking me, even agreed that childhood can be rough if you’re smarter than your classmates. What exactly is your fucking problem? Do you deny school can be rough for smart kids? Do you deny that was my experience? What the fuck is your damage? > [@fessie](#): > > Except my spelling’s a lot better. Well, at least you have something to be proud of. ---
**Author:** ![Try\_As\_I\_Might](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@Try\_As\_I\_Might](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try_As_I_Might)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/97 "2005-05-12T22:12:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Naw, that’s mildly losing my temper. When people insult me, I generally respond in kind. I really hate this mentality, this “I’ll push you right to the edge, and when you respond, it’s all your fault.” > That dog won’t hunt. Actually, you went pretty quickly to telling people to fuck off and calling them assholes. I consider that an escalation. > [@](#): > > Modesty is a sign that you can’t take pride in your own accomplishments because your sucesses might just make someone else feel less sucessful. I see nothing mature about having to hide who you are in order that people don’t attack you. I disagree, maybe this is definitional. I include “not expounding on your accomplishments” within the definition of modesty. You can be internally proud of something you have done and not go out and tell others about it. > [@](#): > > Should the greatest piano player in the world pretend he’s not that good? Should Kasparov introduce himself as ‘just some guy who likes games.’ ? Should a world class whatever-the-fuck have to hide and be afraid of mentioning his/her accomplishments, for fear that some idiot somewhere will take offense because they don’t have the same gifts? Well, they don’t have to point it out, their actions speak for themselves. Pointing it out is false modesty. Saying your a professional chess player is slightly different than saying “Hello. I’m the highest rated chess player in the history of the world.” Both are true, but one is pretentious and arrogant. > [@](#): > > Modesty, as such, is a ridiculous standard of behavior. Now, one doesn’t have to toot their own horn as an alternative. But we don’t even want people to be quietly confident or relate a freakin’ story if the point is that they caught shit for being intelligent. quietly confident. big difference. I believe a modest but capable person is quietly confident of his or her abilities. > [@](#): > > Not if you’re being modest. > “Yeah… running a three minute mile is nothing special, I’m sure I just got lucky.” To me, this is false modesty. The person is really saying, “I ran a three minute mile.” That is not modest at all. > [@](#): > > Moreoever, I wasn’t acting proud of my accomplishments, merely relating an anecdote of how high school was rough for me. That’s not even **close** to tooting my own horn, and yet I was jumped on for it. Actually, I think it could be considered close to tooting your own horn since about half the respondents have indicated they took the post as “braggish” and about half didn’t. If you want me to nitpick, you could have at least left out all of the specifics. > [@](#): > > I can speak with authority as to my own experiences, I can speak with much less authority on other people’s. And at least one poster in the other thread did tell me to lie, in plain English. > > And why the heck should I have to talk about a friend anyways? This happened to me, this was my time in school. I told a short story of how high school was rough for me. That’s it. I shouldn’t be required to dredge up other people who might’ve felt somewhat similar. But you have met others that are of your caliber, right? OK. I’m kidding on that one. It was just a suggestion–feel free to disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/98 "2005-05-12T22:13:07Z")
> [@treis](#): > > My argument is that \*\* Cemetery Savior\*\*'s joke wasn’t insulting rather it was just good natured ribbing. There is a difference and its not just that he didn’t mean it rather there was no malicious intent in his statement. I understand your argument. I don’t agree with it. “Good natured ribbing” isn’t something you do with people who don’t know you well enough to understand your good nature. Acting like that to strangers makes you look like an asshole. On preview, what **wring** said. ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/99 "2005-05-12T22:15:08Z")
> [@Left Hand of Dorkness](#): > > Honestly, I wouldn’t know it from your posts: your posts have the sort of supercilious, “You kids are too young to understand!” attitude that’s infuriated me ever since I was a wee tot. They lack anything remotely resembling humility. > > I suspect that you’ve forgotten, on a visceral level, the experience of childhood and adolescence, and no longer empathize with it. You come across as comfortably arrogant with the arrogance of the middle-aged. Which is your prerogative, of course, but isn’t an attitude that makes me think you’ve been successfully humbled. > > Daniel That’s a fair criticism, I won’t fight it. Can’t recall when I pissed on your Wheaties, but there it is. It still mystifies me that someone who departs a thread with a flourish and fanfare would bother to continue monitoring the discussion. Perhaps he was waiting to see if **treis** would respond to his bait? You say that you apologized & the case was closed, but that’s actually a lie - Originally Posted by FinnAgain Second, what exactly is ironic about pointing out the fact that some of the concerns raised were valid? You used this opportunity to return the subject to your own presumably bright self. Originally posted by FinnAgain I was using an example of how their concerns were valid and how it can be rough. There’s a huge difference between a statement of fact and bragging. NO NO NO NO NO NO The point of the OP was that those parents’ concerns WEREN’T valid. They were silly. And so are you. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591/100 "2005-05-12T22:18:11Z")
> [@Lute Skywatcher](#): > > **Finn** , why are you arguing with yourself? Hah! Please allow me to wipe the egg off my face. I had my user name stuck in the cut 'n paste box. The above posted comments were from treis. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assholes-the-jealous-and-mediocretins-cemetary-savior-spoke-fessie-treis-etc/303591.md?page=6)