# Assorted Observations About the Oscars **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 28, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258 "2005-02-28T06:13:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/1 "2005-02-28T06:13:06Z")
These have no real point and are piecemeal- feel free to add your own: \*Looks like I’ll have to wait another year to collection my million dollars from James Randi (I thought THE AVIATOR would trump MILLION DOLLAR BABY [though I haven’t seen the latter]) \*Chris Rock is at his best a brilliant comedian but his _Angry Young Black Man_™ schtick is tiring- Dude, you’re hosting the Oscars, how much more establishment do you get? \*Hillary Swank is too thin for a backless dress \*Charlize Theron could turn me straight for at least a day or two (especially if Chad Lowe stopped over) \*Sean Penn is a total tool (I really don’t think that Jude Law was home crying and trying to cut his wrists with a lemon zester over Rock’s jokes) \*Did anybody else think that the huge hoorays for Marlon Brando were ironic considering his opinion of the Oscars? \*Did anybody think that Ronald Reagan got too little applause considering he was President of… the SAG? \*Cate Blanchett was good but didn’t deserve the Oscar for her Hepburn \*Now that Jamie Foxx has won the Oscar I guess the budget of WANDA: THE MOTION PICTURE will be $20 million higher \*I liked SIDEWAYS but still can’t understand why Thomas Haden Church was nominated (if you’ve seen WINGS you’ve seen his performance [and on a non-Oscar note, how the hell did that movie cost $16 million to make?]) \*Has anybody else ever noticed that Johnny Depp is really hot? \*Ditto Josh Groban \*If Sean Penn was female and Jewish and could sing and was 20 years older he’d be Barbra Streisand \*YoYo Ma could make the angels cry- the man is a demi-god \*Ossie Davis died in 2005, not 2004 \*Sean Penn is a tool (it bears repeating) Et tu? ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/2 "2005-02-28T06:33:36Z")
- Martin Scorcese needs to do something with those eyebrows. - LOVED Beyounce’s first act, but her outfit in the second song was tacky. - There were a lot of empty seats this year. That’s sad. - Why did they keep zooming in on Sammy? - I love Adam Sandler, but the bit they gave him was lame. - What a treat to have Santana play, but Antonio needs to start washing his hair. - Chris Rock is THE MAN. - more later, WHEN IT’S OVER. (Pacific Time Zone) ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/3 "2005-02-28T06:38:28Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > \*Has anybody else ever noticed that Johnny Depp is really hot? No, oddly enough. Not one person on the planet has noticed this. Way to figure it out! 😛😛😛😛😛 ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/4 "2005-02-28T06:44:36Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > \*Has anybody else ever noticed that Johnny Depp is really hot? Yep. Someone commented in the other thread (and I think they said Chris Rock commented, too) that he seemed to have borrowed his clothes from Prince. I didn’t see Depp at all tonight, so I wouldn’t know, but someone needs to tell me: was it the assless pants? Please, god. 😛 > [@](#): > > \*Ditto Josh Groban Huh? I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed the empty seats. My housemate changed the channel shortly after Hilary Swank took the stage so, after missing parts of the beginning (because I was playing video game) and all of the end, I think I wound up watching/listening to **maybe** 20 minutes but probably close to ten. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/5 "2005-02-28T06:49:14Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > No, oddly enough. Not one person on the planet has noticed this. Way to figure it out! 😛😛😛😛😛 I’m serious, he’s gonna be big one day. He’s got a future in this bidness, you just wait and see. \*I was so glad DiCaprio didn’t get it- I just didn’t think his performance was all that. (Maybe if he’d played Hughes as a retarded kid he’d have been better.) \*Oprah- you’re a billionaire- stop clipping coupons for The Nail & Style Shack and pay for a decent hairdresser \*Another major American Sunday Night once-a-year institution goes by without us getting a look a Mickey Rooney’s nekkid bum \*Not having seen Million $ Baby I can’t speak for Morgan Freeman’s performance, but I’m glad he won as he’s deserved one for years (but mon Dieu he looks old) \*Jamie Foxx gave one of the classiest acceptance speeches in history (though the Spanish singer guy was better) \*I hate Mel Gibson, but PASSION OF THE CHRIST got hosed; ditto Michael Moore and F911 \*Nice to see two “we’re here, we’re queer” guys win in the middle of what has to be the World’s Biggest Closet (Yeah I’m looking at you Clint! [not really]) \*I think this will be Rock’s last year- while he’s smarmy and irritating, Billy Crystal is much better suited to this type of work \*In addition to Ray Charles, Jamie Foxx does a pretty damned good Sidney Poitier ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/6 "2005-02-28T06:50:45Z")
> [@Silver Fire](#): > > Yep. Someone commented in the other thread (and I think they said Chris Rock commented, too) that he seemed to have borrowed his clothes from Prince. I didn’t see Depp at all tonight, so I wouldn’t know, but someone needs to tell me: was it the assless pants? Please, god. 😛 He had planned to wear them but unfortunately Sir Ben Kingsley had beaten him to them. ---
**Author:** ![Freejooky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ba8739/32.png) [@Freejooky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freejooky)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/7 "2005-02-28T07:15:38Z")
- Morgan Freeman seems to have aged about 30 years in the past three years. Still, he just exudes class. - Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayeck are the same person. They look identical and talk the same. Also, to both of them: learn to speak english. You’ve been making American movies for two decades. - The spanish song was one of the most amazingly tuneless and unpretty things I’ve ever heard. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/8 "2005-02-28T07:25:14Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > - Morgan Freeman seems to have aged about 30 years in the past three years. Still, he just exudes class. > > - Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayeck are the same person. They look identical and talk the same. Also, to both of them: learn to speak english. You’ve been making American movies for two decades. > > - The spanish song was one of the most amazingly tuneless and unpretty things I’ve ever heard. Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek look quite different. Salma Hayek is shorter and curvier. And she grew up in Mexico. Cruz grew up in Spain. Their accents are much different. Two decades? Hayek started making American films around 1995 and Cruz around 1998. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/9 "2005-02-28T07:26:55Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > \*In addition to Ray Charles, Jamie Foxx does a pretty damned good Sidney Poitier On a talk show, I saw him do a startlingly on-target impression of Ronald Reagan! ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/10 "2005-02-28T08:14:09Z")
Cute moments: \*Freeman’s wink at the random camera shot of him with his Oscar \*Irons’s ad-lib (liked his tux, btw) \*Agreed that Sandler/Rock should have introduced the In Memorium segment, because it died \*Rock’s comments on the lack of class and appreciation for black themed movies was ironic on the first Oscars ever in which both male categories went to black artists \*Rock’s comment on Tim Robbins (“He’s dazzled us with his acting and bored the hell out of us with his politics”) was funny and Robbins had the good grace to accept it (though no doubt Sean Penn slapped Rock’s wife for it in the hallway) \*Is Robin Williams capable of just delivering his spiel with perhaps one or at outside (if it really works) two ad-libs thrown in? He’s become as much a parody of himself as Robert Goulet or David Cassidy ever dared be \*Was that really M.C. Hammer in the commercial (for whatever it was)? And I’m surprised Kirk Douglas allowed them to use SPARTACUS clips for a Pepsi commercial (I’m guessing they paid as much as they’d have paid for him to hawk it) ---
**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/11 "2005-02-28T09:12:09Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > \*Hillary Swank is too thin for a backless dress > > \*Cate Blanchett was good but didn’t deserve the Oscar for her Hepburn > > \*I liked SIDEWAYS but still can’t understand why Thomas Haden Church was nominated (if you’ve seen WINGS you’ve seen his performance [and on a non-Oscar note, how the hell did that movie cost $16 million to make?]) > > \*Has anybody else ever noticed that Johnny Depp is really hot? Most of Hollywood is too thin for a backless dress. Still, I thought the dress was very nice except for the neckline being waaaay too high–it looked as it had a stranglehold on her. I couldn’t agree more. Cate’s a great actress, but this wasn’t her best. Have you seen the price of some California wines these days? (I wouldn’t be surprised that some of it is from filming on location in Southern California. There’s reasons why so many movies are filmed in Canada nowadays.) I don’t know, Johnny was looking a little gaunt and pale tonight. For a slideshow on some of the Oscar fashions tonight, you can go [here](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7042535/displaymode/1107//s/2/framenumber/1); witty commentary done by the [gofugyourself.com](http://gofugyourself.com) girls. ---
**Author:** ![Club\_33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/12 "2005-02-28T09:53:35Z")
-I thought it was a really weak year for musical performances. I almost felt bad for Carlos Santana. Antonio really can’t sing that well. The only performance I thought was outstanding was Yo Yo Ma. Did anyone notice that it seemed that Dustin Hoffman was really slurring his words? Did him and Babs go out for a few cocktails beforehand? Warren Beatty really bugs the hell out of me. Was there anyone that Hillary Swank didn’t thank? Geez, she even gave props to her lawyers. Meanwhile, a bunch of winners barely got a chance to say anything. I though that was kind of sucky. ---
**Author:** ![UntouchedTakeaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/d78d45/32.png) [@UntouchedTakeaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UntouchedTakeaway)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/13 "2005-02-28T10:37:14Z")
\*Antonio Banderas must be THE most devoted husband in Hollywood. Any other man would have locked his wife in the linen closet if she had come downstairs in the gown Melanie Griffith was wearing and said “Hi, Honey - here’s what I’m wearing to the most prestigious night in Hollywood! The “Star Trek” costume folks were having a sale and well…I just _couldn’t_ resist”. \*I would like it to go on the record that I (hearted) Clint Eastwood for YEARS before anyone else did. 😃 In the Things I Never Thought I’d Hear category - fashion designer Randolph Duke stating that Renee Zelleweger needed to eat a sandwich and lose the strapless dresses. VCNJ~ ---
**Author:** ![zagloba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/977dab/32.png) [@zagloba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zagloba)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/14 "2005-02-28T10:40:10Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > I’m surprised Kirk Douglas allowed them to use SPARTACUS clips for a Pepsi commercial (I’m guessing they paid as much as they’d have paid for him to hawk it) I doubt that Kirk Douglas owns the copyright for Spartacus. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/15 "2005-02-28T12:19:51Z")
> [@Freejooky](#): > > - Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayeck are the same person. They look identical and talk the same. Also, to both of them: learn to speak english. You’ve been making American movies for two decades. > . Bollocks. Penelope Cruz looks like Paris Hilton with a tan. Did anybody else notice Louis Gosset Jr. asleep during the honorary oscar speech? His eyes were closed. His mouth was open, and his head bobbed gently back and forth. ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/16 "2005-02-28T12:32:07Z")
When did Adam Durwitz turn into Sideshow Bob? Some guys just can’t handle hair loss, I guess… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/17 "2005-02-28T12:54:11Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > \*Is Robin Williams capable of just delivering his spiel with perhaps one or at outside (if it really works) two ad-libs thrown in? He’s become as much a parody of himself as Robert Goulet or David Cassidy ever dared be Amen! ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/18 "2005-02-28T13:23:16Z")
This years Oscars was a snooooze fest. Chris Rock, who I usually like, forced and unfunny. Many empty seats. Many missing Movie Actors( A and B lists) ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/19 "2005-02-28T13:24:30Z")
\*One of the best documentary guys was asleep, too. Someone next to him nudged him and he woke up just as the camera went by. \*Sandler was terrible. \*She’s thin now, but I guess Renee Zellwegger will always be a weird-looking woman with tiny eyes and cheeks that are about 65% of her face. \*Dustin Hoffman did seem hammered. That was weird. I expected Pacino to look like he just rolled out of bed, but Hoffman? \*I really liked Santana and that song. I was glad it won. \*Rock’s joke at his expense was one of the better ones of the night, but [I’m not sure Tim Robbins accepted it with grace.](http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050228/482/kdk30702280459) \*Sean Penn was an ass, and the jokes about Renee Zellwegger as Deacon Jones and Halle Berry starring in Catwoman 2 were very good. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2005, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258/20 "2005-02-28T13:41:11Z")
- I’m pissed that Scorcese got hosed. Well, maybe not “pissed”, but I do think _The Aviator_ was a much better film. I’m thinking that if you’re an actor and you’ve directed a movie at any one point in your life (even in high school), you might not bother auditioning for that next Scorcese project. - However, I am impressed that the B. Picture winner was shot in a mere 37 days, (according to Clint.) - Hayek and that other girl might not be the same person, but they _could_ be cousins. - Was it me, or did Hilary Swank look rather… cold… in her dress? :eek: 😃 - Few of the speeches sucked. Actually, this ceremony was remarkably lacking in things that really sucked\*… though it didn’t take any chances either. - \*Other than the non-stage winners - couldn’t they have just lined everyone on stage for public display as they did for some of the bigger (sound, F/X) awards?) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/assorted-observations-about-the-oscars/292258.md?page=2)