# At a wedding, does anyone ever actually "speak now" instead of "forever holding their peace"?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [August 16, 2013, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430 "2013-08-16T17:08:59Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/21 "2013-08-16T20:32:55Z")
I wonder if ever, even in ancient times, it was ever used in the way it was intended. I would think that if there were a legal problem, someone would have notified the proper authorities prior to the ceremony. It probably entered the standard ceremony as the equivalent of boiler plate legalese due diligence.
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/22 "2013-08-16T20:38:11Z")
I always wanted to stand at the back and say, “well, I…never mind.”
🙂
---
### Author:  [@Heracles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heracles)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/23 "2013-08-16T21:08:08Z")
Here in Québec it’s never done. Except…
I did once attend a wedding where the bride and groom had convinced the priest to ask it anyway, because they found it cute. One of their friends did speak up, improvising for laughs, and the priest seemed pretty pissed. The ceremony continued after that.
---
### Author:  [@boozilu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boozilu)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/24 "2013-08-16T21:12:43Z")
FYI, it’s not part of the Catholic ceremony. The church posts the marriage banns in the bulletins for a few (three?) weeks prior to the wedding so if there is any legal issue it can be raised before the ceremony.
Of course this assumes that everyone attends church and in the same parish as the wedding . . .
---
### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/25 "2013-08-16T21:32:08Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#):
>
> It was said in my first wedding ceremony; no one spoke up but I learned later that a ‘friend’ took that opportunity to repeatedly jab the ribs of my ex-boyfriend who was now a good enough friend of mine to attend the wedding. Classy. :rolleyes:
I went to the wedding of an ex-girlfriend back in the day, and sat next to another of her ex-boyfriends (hey, it was the 80’s). When they got to that line, we both sort of glanced at each other and shrugged, and the people around us cracked up a bit, but we said nothing.
---
### Author:  [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/26 "2013-08-16T21:50:02Z")
I have never been to a wedding where that was said. If I had and felt that the couple were making a mistake - I would **not** speak up, and I am a pretty outspoken person. Does saying something actually stop the wedding? It’s really none of my business. All of us make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, no?
---
### Author:  [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/27 "2013-08-16T22:07:22Z")
> [@Rodgers01](#):
>
> We’ve all had a friend or loved one who’s entering a marriage we think is a terrible idea. But have you ever heard of anyone actually taking up the minister’s famous offer?
Not in person, but I recall an atheist on another forum complaining about a relative who stood up and denounced him for being an atheist and therefore unworthy of marriage. Probably the same sort of guy who stands up at funerals and announces that the deceased is burning in Hell for being an atheist or gay.
---
### Author:  [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/28 "2013-08-16T22:52:52Z")
When I married the question was not a part of the ceremony. But after the vows were made, and we were actually married, the minister addressed us and said that if we knew anything which would alienate our union, it was now to be forgotten and left to the mercy of God. He then addressed the congregation and said “If anyone should henceforth try to divide their(our) heart and sould from one another, let them do so at the peril of offending a creation that God has made.”
---
### Author:  [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)
#### Post date: [August 16, 2013, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/29 "2013-08-16T23:07:57Z")
I have seen it happen a few times, usually in situations where the bride or groom had been lying about something their potential partner would probably consider a deal breaker and someone else spoke up rather than see the marriage go forward (and the resulting trainwreck of a divorce result). In all cases it was a move of last resorts by the speaker who had been trying to get the bride or groom to tell the truth prior to the actual ceremony.
---
### Author:  [@Kimmy\_Gibbler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimmy_Gibbler)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/30 "2013-08-17T00:54:32Z")
> [@scootergirl](#):
>
> Does saying something actually stop the wedding?
Above, I said I’d expect the priest to ignore the objection. Thinking about it more, I think the couple’s having a marriage license (as they almost certainly would) would create an irrebuttable presumption, as least as far as solemnizing clergy are concerned, as to the marriage’s legality. Thus, not only would the priest ignore it, but he/she would do so on the strength of the civil license.
---
### Author:  [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/31 "2013-08-17T01:02:37Z")
I got married in a court room, by my favorite judge. Told the baliff that if anybody spoke up, she should shoot them. She nodded solemnly. I has connections in this town. 🙂
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/32 "2013-08-17T01:15:15Z")
> [@Oakminster](#):
>
> Told the baliff that if anybody spoke up, she should shoot them. She nodded solemnly. I has connections in this town. 🙂
Good job!
🙂
---
### Author:  [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/33 "2013-08-17T01:52:06Z")
- … If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be
married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace. … "\*
does that mean that, once upon a time, even had it been illegal; it would have been swept under the rug and ignored once the church ceremony is done?
---
### Author:  [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/34 "2013-08-17T02:02:17Z")
“If anyone besides the mother of the groom objects to this…”
---
### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/35 "2013-08-17T02:11:14Z")
> [@shijinn](#):
>
> - … If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be
> married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace. … "\*
>
> does that mean that, once upon a time, even had it been illegal; it would have been swept under the rug and ignored once the church ceremony is done?
Well, divorce wasn’t necessarily an option once they were married in the eyes of God…
---
### Author:  [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/36 "2013-08-17T02:15:10Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#):
>
> “If anyone besides the mother of the groom objects to this…”
Rabbi: “If anyone besides the mother of the Chatam objects to this already…” 🙂
---
### Author:  [@Annoying\_Buzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annoying_Buzz)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/37 "2013-08-17T03:43:52Z")
It’s not part of my wedding spiel, but I was asked to include it once. Interestingly, it was one of the few weddings where both the bride and groom were from America.
Nobody spoke up, BTW.
---
### Author:  [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/38 "2013-08-17T06:28:18Z")
> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#):
>
> “If anyone besides the mother of the groom objects to this…”
…not including the father of the bride.
---
### Author:  [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/39 "2013-08-17T07:11:35Z")
I think it’s part of the legal wording for marriages in England and Wales. It has certainly been said at every wedding I have ever been to. And no, no one ever speaks up because the wording is pretty clear that it’s about legal obstructions ‘if anyone knows if any lawful impediment’.
---
### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [August 17, 2013, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430/40 "2013-08-17T08:08:59Z")
> [@scootergirl](#):
>
> I have never been to a wedding where that was said. If I had and felt that the couple were making a mistake - I would **not** speak up, and I am a pretty outspoken person. Does saying something actually stop the wedding? It’s really none of my business. All of us make mistakes and hopefully learn from them, no?
It’s not about that, it’s about things like “by the way, was your divorce finalized? Actually, did you ever get around to serving your previous spouse?”
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430.md?page=1)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-a-wedding-does-anyone-ever-actually-speak-now-instead-of-forever-holding-their-peace/666430.md?page=3)