# At last! Guys, here's how to impress your girlfriends! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403 "2002-07-11T12:37:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/1 "2002-07-11T12:37:09Z")
Apparently by killing and mutilating your German Shepard…ah, what some men will do for love… :rolleyes: [http://www.sacbee.com/state\_wire/story/3515865p-4546077c.html](http://www.sacbee.com/state_wire/story/3515865p-4546077c.html) ---
**Author:** ![welby1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@welby1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby1)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/2 "2002-07-11T12:45:19Z")
I always went for the baby rabbit thing. Dogs can bite back. I swear to goodness somebody needs to reboot this fucking world. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/3 "2002-07-11T12:50:58Z")
And this girl didn’t fall all over herself rushing back into his arms?! Women these days, always expecting the moon. :rolleyes: That poor dog, I hope this schmuck at least did it quickly. It sounds to me like he’s a few cards short of a deck—I hope he gets treatment _wherever_ he ends up. Did anyone else find it refreshing to hear a parent admit that–yeah, his kid probably _is_ dangerous? bella ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/4 "2002-07-11T12:51:51Z")
Do we need to repost Rainbow Bridge again for the dog lovers? ---
**Author:** ![Tansu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@Tansu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tansu)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/5 "2002-07-11T12:58:29Z")
I should reckon that’s just about as insane as you can get. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/6 "2002-07-11T13:36:11Z")
All I can say is, that’s just slightly less sick then killing girls to impress (or at least obey) one’s dog. ---
**Author:** ![roadrunner70](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@roadrunner70](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roadrunner70)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/7 "2002-07-11T13:48:46Z")
Yknow, I really love this guy. But I want to impress my wife. Where is he again, and where’s my sword. Fuckin’ idjit. ---
**Author:** ![Entwife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dc4da7/32.png) [@Entwife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Entwife)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/8 "2002-07-11T14:26:23Z")
What? He couldn’t be bothered to try assassinating the president??? Men today are such _slackers_. :wally ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/9 "2002-07-11T17:16:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tansu \* > \*\*I should reckon that’s just about as insane as you can get. \*\* Oh! Ye of little imagination! ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/10 "2002-07-11T20:42:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cmkeller \* > \*\*All I can say is, that’s just slightly less sick then killing girls to impress (or at least obey) one’s dog. \*\* Hey, that nut wasn’t even obeying HIS dog, it was the neighbor’s. But at least he was denied parole this week. (Son of Sam ref.) ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/11 "2002-07-11T21:02:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lurkernomore \* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by cmkeller \* > > All I can say is, that’s just slightly less sick then killing girls to impress (or at least obey) one’s dog. > > \*\* > > Hey, that nut wasn’t even obeying HIS dog, it was the neighbor’s. > > But at least he was denied parole this week. > (Son of Sam ref.) \*\* Have either of you read [A Boy and His Dog](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1883398460/ref=pd_sim_books/104-7409331-9987906)? ---
**Author:** ![Lodrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c4cdca/32.png) [@Lodrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lodrain)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/12 "2002-07-11T21:48:56Z")
_Fuckwigget_, _asstocking_, _jizzbuffer_. There, I have creatively expressed my anger for this walking ejaculatory mistake. Thank you for your time. ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2002, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/13 "2002-07-11T22:45:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > \*\* > \*\* > > Hey, that nut wasn’t even obeying HIS dog, it was the neighbor’s. > > But at least he was denied parole this week. > (Son of Sam ref.) \*\* Have either of you read [A Boy and His Dog](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1883398460/ref=pd_sim_books/104-7409331-9987906)? \*\* [/QUOTE] Forgot about that. We just had a rather notorious serial killer denied parole this week in NY, where CMK and I live. He claimed the dog next door told him to go kill people. I shall go back to my old method of impressing women: cleaning the wax out of my ears. …with my tongue. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/14 "2002-07-12T02:02:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Fuckwigget, asstocking, **jizzbuffer** I rather like the last one. > [@](#): > > I shall go back to my old method of impressing women: cleaning the wax out of my ears. > > …with my tongue Teach me this trick. I have some money. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/15 "2002-07-12T02:33:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Fuckwigget, asstocking, **jizzbuffer** I rather like the last one. > [@](#): > > I shall go back to my old method of impressing women: cleaning the wax out of my ears. > > …with my tongue Teach me this trick. I have some money. ---
**Author:** ![monica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a183cd/32.png) [@monica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monica)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2002, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/16 "2002-07-12T13:38:08Z")
Maybe it would have been better if he had tried to pull a Van Gogh…and bled to death. ---
**Author:** ![HairyPotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ab097/32.png) [@HairyPotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HairyPotter)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/17 "2002-07-13T06:22:02Z")
Domestic violence batterers frequently harm animals as a way of demonstrating to their victim, “what I am doing to this animal, I can also do to you”. It is likely that this sick individual came from an abusive home and learned this behavior from a real gem of a parent. That doesn’t excuse his sick behavior, but it does illustrate the price society pays if children are not protected from abusive environments. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/18 "2002-07-13T10:00:23Z")
Nevertheless, could someone please arrange to have tattoing “Do Not Date” on this guy’s forehead? Tattoo to be removed at the state’s expense if his behaviour changes and he understands why it creeps people out. No! No! No! _Rescuing_ the neighbor’s dog, spending beaucoup bucks on vet bills shows a girl how much love you’re capable of. This action only shows destruction. CJ ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 10:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/19 "2002-07-13T10:36:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > \*\*That poor dog, I hope this schmuck at least did it quickly. It sounds to me like he’s a few cards short of a deck— \*\* He isn’t just a few cards short, he’s the discarded jokers left in the box. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2002, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403/20 "2002-07-13T13:40:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SisterCoyote \* > \*\* > Have either of you read [A Boy and His Dog](http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1883398460/ref=pd_sim_books/104-7409331-9987906)? \*\* I have, and it was almost the first thing I thought of. Now **there’s** an example of a guy with his priorities in the right place. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-last-guys-heres-how-to-impress-your-girlfriends/118403.md?page=2)