# At least close the fucking door! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 16, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112 "2003-04-16T16:51:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/1 "2003-04-16T16:51:34Z")
Look. I’m happy that you found a girl you like. I’m happy that you’ve seen her more than once. I’ll be the first to admit I’m a little jealous yes, both of the fact that I pine for you (which I am slowly working my way out of) and wish it were me, and the fact that I have no one to snuggle with on the couch or in bed. But I _AM_ home. You know I’m here. Both of you came out mussed and dressed and snuggled on the couch and talked to me for half an hour before you retired back to your bedroom. I already know perfectly well what you are doing, I know your bedsprings squeak and the headboard bangs the wall sometimes. But this _IS_ an apartment, not _all that_ big. I have to walk past your room to get into my room, and to the bathroom although I can deftly avoid your room by cutting through the kitchen to get there. So please **PLEASE** just _ **shut the god damned door** _!! It’s a courtesy to the others who live here and will give you all that much more privacy! Ugh… time for a walk… ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/2 "2003-04-16T16:58:40Z")
They can’t even be bothered to shut the door while they’re going at it? Eeeeewwww. I thought that was just basic common courtesy. You know, an evil person would park himself in the doorway at juat start talking. Try to start a conversation, running commentary on their style and technique, whatever. When they get all pissy, just act all innocent and injured, saying, “Well the door was wide open, so I didn’t think you’d mind.” Of course this you have to look at naked friend bootie, so it might make you uncomfortable. ---
**Author:** ![malaka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@malaka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/malaka)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/3 "2003-04-16T17:24:19Z")
Stand in the door and hold up scorecards. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/4 "2003-04-16T17:32:37Z")
Silly **Flutterby** , the open door is an invitation to join the fun. At least, that’s what you should tell them when they act surprised when you jump on their bed in the middle of business. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/5 "2003-04-16T17:35:23Z")
A nice bright series of camera flashes might convince them of the error of their ways. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/6 "2003-04-16T17:46:18Z")
> [@](#): > > At least close the fucking door! Strangely accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/7 "2003-04-16T18:02:58Z")
CrazyCatLady: I’ve already seen it all anyway, so it wouldn’t bother me. And she _is_ pretty cute I’ll have to admit that. Malaka: Scorecards… hmm… where’s some paper and a black marker…? friedo: I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t mind (this is the guy who’s asked me to pick up bi-sexual women when I go to the lesbian bar) but I don’t know about her… belladonna: I have film, but sadly I have no flash… might be fun to try and sneak some photos anyway though! lieu: That’s what I thought too ---
**Author:** ![Edward\_The\_Head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ce73a5/32.png) [@Edward\_The\_Head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Edward_The_Head)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/8 "2003-04-16T18:07:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*Strangely accurate. \*\* Not really since the doors not getting any. 😛 Yeah I think you should hold up some score cards, or better yet invite some people over so you can average the scores out! ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/9 "2003-04-16T18:21:29Z")
Actually, I had the guys afraid to touch doorknobs for awhile. We were watching Dharma and Greg one night and that rich lady (I can’t remember her name) got locked out of her place in a maid’s uniform by her own maid… she met a really cute guy and finally gets back inside and is all excited… the maid asked her if she’d run into the doorknob and one of the guys decided to ask me about it. So, as a joke, I made a comment that yeah the doorknobs work pretty well (especially as I’m tall and _just_ able to be comfortable 😛 ) Totally freaked them out, and every so often when they make comments about my being horny I just warn them not to touch any doorknobs… ---
**Author:** ![bluetrust](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e7dd6/32.png) [@bluetrust](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluetrust)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/10 "2003-04-16T18:50:41Z")
That was an episode of Will and Grace. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![SouthernStyle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@SouthernStyle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SouthernStyle)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/11 "2003-04-16T19:08:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by belladonna \* > \*\*A nice bright series of camera flashes might convince them of the error of their ways. \*\* I like you. You’ve got a certain “evil quality” that’s fun at parties. SS ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/12 "2003-04-16T19:27:15Z")
Hmmmm…let me get this straight. 1. You have a male housemate. 2. You have some attraction to the male housemate. 3. The male housemate has now found some female companionship. 4. The male housemate and the female companion are exchanging body fluids. 5. The process by which the body fluids are exchanged is visually accessible through a portal which has the abilty to be closed. 6. The male housemate and the female companion choose not to deter visual access to the process by closing the aforementioned portal. 7. The presence of other housemates is considered by **both** of the involved parties when the decision to allow visual access to the process is made. After computation of all of the facts, my conclusion is that your housemate is 1) incredibly rude, 2) fucking weird, 3) both, or 4) inviting you to play along. As far as the girl goes, why would she consent to having sex with the door open knowing that you were home if she didn’t want you to play along as well? ---
**Author:** ![Profane\_Creation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Profane\_Creation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane_Creation)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/13 "2003-04-16T19:57:09Z")
Yeah, I say you try to work your way in there. Could be a lot of fun. I wonder how well you could surprise them. Images of 3 screaming people pop into my head… ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/14 "2003-04-16T20:17:40Z")
Uh… yes Will and Grace… sorry. I hardly ever watch tv so I forget what I’m watching (which is what made seeing Farscape and some other show that was similar so weird… I asked afterwards what happened to the grey chick and they laughed and were like… that’s a totally different show) Ol’Gaffer: On further consideration of the situation I have realized that my sleepless/sick/cold medication muddled brain misconstrued the situation. The door was open… and they were making out and snuggling. But the little creaking I heard was just from normal shifting around. There was too little sound to actually be anything happening at that time. I wasn’t actually looking to see what they were doing, and the roomie is very considerate. He always closes the door (just like I do, and we have Rules. Rule #1 is no Nekkid in the living room…) I’m just so tired/muddled right now that I zoned on the computer screen and the few normal sounds I heard stuck in my brain enough to make me think that 🙂 I hate being sick. ---
**Author:** ![Ol\_Gaffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Ol\_Gaffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ol_Gaffer)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-close-the-fucking-door/169112/15 "2003-04-16T20:50:46Z")
Oh, well in that case my entire analysis seems to be somewhat off the mark. I guess I’ll just attribute an unhealthy felching habit to him and make a comment regarding his enjoyment of the dildo bike.