# At least they're together now. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 14, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430 "2008-07-14T13:56:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/1 "2008-07-14T13:56:00Z")
Almost four months ago, I posted [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=460291&highlight=Elza+grandmother) about my grandmother, who passed away in March. Last night, her husband of over 60 years, my grandfather, died of a thoracic aortic aneurism. It happened very quickly - my uncle called from Florida around 9:30, and he died at 9:42. It seems like he just didn’t know how to live without her. The grandfather I saw over these last four months just wasn’t the same grandpa I grew up with. Even though I’m angry that we lost both of them so close together, I know the first thing they did was have a dance together. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/2 "2008-07-14T13:59:27Z")
I’m so sorry. Generally speaking, if a widow/widower makes it to the first anniversary of their spouse’s death, they’ll be okay. Four months sounds like he did his best to hang in there, but just couldn’t pull it off. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/3 "2008-07-14T20:13:33Z")
Yes, my grandmother died in February 2004 and my grandfather, her husband for I think nearly 70 years, followed in April. My condolences on your loss. ---
**Author:** ![photopat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e95f7d/32.png) [@photopat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/photopat)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/4 "2008-07-14T20:34:20Z")
My condolences too. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/5 "2008-07-14T20:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=Elza B] I know the first thing they did was have a dance together. [/QUOTE] That is a beautiful thought to keep with you. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/6 "2008-07-14T20:53:30Z")
I’m sorry for your loss, but dwell on the positives. No life lasts forever, and he clearly had found a lifemate. And sixty years is a very long time. I certainly hope I’m fortunate enough to be able to spend 60 years married to my wife. The song “Someday” by Sugar Ray was a radio hit shortly after we got married and the lyrics always make me think of my wife, and how if I live to be very old, I will surely think of her this way (whether I outlive her or not): \*Someday, when my life has passed me by, I’ll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me… Some way, when the sun begins to shine, I hear a song from another time, And fade away.\* ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/7 "2008-07-15T01:21:00Z")
{{{ **Elza** }}} ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/8 "2008-07-15T02:02:59Z")
[QUOTE=robardin] I’m sorry for your loss, but dwell on the positives. No life lasts forever, and he clearly had found a lifemate. And sixty years is a very long time. I certainly hope I’m fortunate enough to be able to spend 60 years married to my wife. The song “Someday” by Sugar Ray was a radio hit shortly after we got married and the lyrics always make me think of my wife, and how if I live to be very old, I will surely think of her this way (whether I outlive her or not): \*Someday, when my life has passed me by, I’ll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me… Some way, when the sun begins to shine, I hear a song from another time, And fade away.\* [/QUOTE] What a sweet song ☹ . I seem to be handling this better than my grandmother’s death. Maybe because he just seemed so lost without her. and it felt like he so wanted to join her. My grandma taught me a lot. My grandpa taught me what she didn’t. And I hope they’re proud of their family and their grandchildren. I have a lot of work to do to make sure my son knows all about them, and to teach him everything they taught me. ---
**Author:** ![Shayna](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shayna/32/17976_2.png) [@Shayna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shayna)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/9 "2008-07-15T02:07:26Z")
I’m so sorry for your loss. May they dance with joy throughout eternity. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/10 "2008-07-15T02:25:56Z")
Sorry to hear that you’ve lost two loved ones so close together. I hope it gives you solace to focus on the love and devotion they had for each other for so many years. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/11 "2008-07-15T02:28:28Z")
I’m sorry, **ElzaB**. My grandpa and grandma were married 52 years. He managed five years after she was gone, but he didn’t like it much. What I remember most about them was how he loved to tease her, and how she loved to pretend to be angry at the teasing. There’s a Springsteen song that always makes me think of long-married couples, even though it’s written for lovers who are just starting their lives together. Now there’s a beautiful river in the valley ahead There ‘neath the oak’s bough soon we will be wed Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees I’ll wait for you And should I fall behind Wait for me Darlin’ I’ll wait for you Should I fall behind Wait for me ---
**Author:** ![Fionn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a587f6/32.png) [@Fionn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fionn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/12 "2008-07-15T02:49:24Z")
I’m very sorry for your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2008, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/13 "2008-07-15T21:44:44Z")
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. May whatever gods there be, be with you and your family during this difficult time. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-least-theyre-together-now/456430/14 "2008-07-16T00:42:51Z")
My condolences on your loss. ☹