# At the grocery store, an attractive person of your preferred sex asks you out. Your reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973 "2016-02-12T21:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/1 "2016-02-12T21:39:36Z")
Inspired by a [Match.com](http://Match.com) commercial. Or perhaps an eHarmony commercial. I will confess to not being sure which is why. Anywho, for purposes of this conversation you are single and available. “Grocery store” can easily be changed to coffee shop or any other public place you frequent. You have seen the person hitting on you in before, and nothing about her or him skeeves you out. The proposed date s is something low-key – coffee at a popular nearby cafe, say. How willing are you to go out on this date? What are your reasons? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/2 "2016-02-12T21:41:13Z")
I’m single, so sure, why not? ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/3 "2016-02-12T21:43:52Z")
Sure. Sounds fun. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/4 "2016-02-12T21:44:27Z")
Provided she’s not followed around by a camera crew, sure. Isn’t that how it’s worked for ages? ---
**Author:** ![BetsQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/fbc32d/32.png) [@BetsQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BetsQ)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/5 "2016-02-12T21:45:26Z")
This has actually happened to me! Way back when, of course. I was waiting outside the grocery store when a guy stopped and asked me the time. I told him, he walked off, then turned around and came back. He very nicely asked if I would like to go out some time. As my then boyfriend (now husband) was standing right behind him looking horrified, I politely declined. If I’d been single, I’d have been happy to join him for coffee or something along those lines. Why not? ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/6 "2016-02-12T21:55:23Z")
If I was single, why not? I had a customer who frequented the shop I was working in ask me out one time. It was a totally appropriate invitation, something like, could he treat me to lunch at the cafe that was there in the shopping center. If I had not been dating someone, I would have said yes. ---
**Author:** ![Aangelica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Aangelica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aangelica)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/7 "2016-02-12T22:18:36Z")
At the present time, not at all willing - I am happily married. In my younger, single days, provided I was not otherwise engaged, I would have certainly been happy to agree. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/8 "2016-02-12T22:26:41Z")
“Thanks, but I’m seeing somebody.” Then I go home and, since I’m seeing somebody who lives in another state and I don’t know if we’re ever going to see each other again, I beat my head against the wall a few times. Whoops, sorry, I missed the “you are single and available” part. In that case: Hell, yes. I’ll even buy the coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/9 "2016-02-12T22:31:23Z")
I’m happily married. But hypothetical single RNATB would be all over that. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/10 "2016-02-12T22:32:51Z")
I think it is how it is supposed to work, so after looking behind me to see who they really meant, I would say yes partly for myself and partly because I am a people pleaser and can’t say no to someone looking in my face. I would say yes despite the fact that I would be so nervous I’d want to poop myself up until and even into part of the date. Disclaimer: I’ve never really been asked out, just hung out with guys in school where no one really needs to be formal about it. The above is what I imagine might happen. ETA: the one that makes me instantly nervous? The Olivia Wilde mascara one “don’t look; don’t look; OK, look” where she catches some guy’s eye and then makes a move to talk to him. I’d be paralyzed by nervousness and have no idea what to say to the person. Of course it doesn’t help that I look like the polar opposite of Olivia Wilde. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/11 "2016-02-12T22:38:37Z")
Married now, but when I was single: Hell. No. I don’t date people I don’t know, especially if they’re the ones coming on to me, even more especially if they want to do something _right then_. I might exchange emails with him and chat a bit that way then meet up when I have a bit of a sense of who he is, but…yeah. No. I am really surprised to see how many people are saying they’d go off somewhere immediately with a stranger, and not at minimum tell a friend what they’re doing, where they’re going, and with whom they’re going. It seems hella unsafe. Like the song says, “If you wanna be my lover/You got to get with my friends.” I dated exclusively within my extended friend circle, and the one time something happened like what you’re describing I was so shocked that I laughed in his face. Probably made the poor fella feel bad, but it was an honest reaction - I had only read about such things and had no idea they happened in real life. ---
**Author:** ![SirRay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@SirRay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SirRay)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/12 "2016-02-12T22:38:58Z")
Isn’t this the plot of many a TV episode over the years? No matter, the answer is “Yes, yes I would go out with her.” Sadly, no actual lady matching the OP description has asked me this…(directly asking is definitely a body signal I would notice) ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/13 "2016-02-12T22:44:44Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > I don’t date people I don’t know, especially if they’re the ones coming on to me, even more especially if they want to do something _right then_. I might exchange emails with him and chat a bit that way then meet up when I have a bit of a sense of who he is, but…yeah. No. > > I am really surprised to see how many people are saying they’d go off somewhere immediately with a stranger, and not at minimum tell a friend what they’re doing, where they’re going, and with whom they’re going. It seems hella unsafe. Hmm. I didn’t think the OP meant you would immediately go off with the person, just that they suggest a low-key thing: “Would you like to get coffee sometime? I know a cafe near here”, meaning you would call and chat later before meeting up. Presumably the date is at a public place. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/14 "2016-02-12T22:48:03Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Married now, but when I was single: > > Hell. No. > > I don’t date people I don’t know, especially if they’re the ones coming on to me, even more especially if they want to do something _right then_… I didn’t intend for the invitation to be for something immediate, but the OP doesn’t specify. My bad. If the invitation is less immediate – say it’s Friday afternoon, and the person is inviting you for coffee Sunday afternoon – does your answer change? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/15 "2016-02-12T23:29:05Z")
> [@Larry\_Borgia](#): > > I’m single, so sure, why not? +1 ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/16 "2016-02-12T23:33:27Z")
I’d be sure it was some kind of trick. Is she trying to get me to join Scientology or something? ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2016, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/17 "2016-02-12T23:38:03Z")
Absolutely. Reason… Why not? I’m always up for meeting new people. Getting laid would be an extra bonus. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/18 "2016-02-13T00:08:03Z")
I’d say “How sweet of you to ask, but no thank you.” I’m not looking to be in a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/19 "2016-02-13T00:10:25Z")
It largely depends on perceived attractiveness. Many "nope I would not " Men and women will change their minds on a dime if they are strongly physically attracted to a person, even a relative stranger. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/20 "2016-02-13T00:25:52Z")
This happen to me 43 years ago , I was at a grocery store for a friend and this handsome Black man came up to me , we gotten talking and went out and I now have a beautiful 43 yo daughter and she has a beautiful daughter too. Yeah I would go out with the guy . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973.md?page=2)