# At the grocery store, an attractive person of your preferred sex asks you out. Your reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973 "2016-02-12T21:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/21 "2016-02-13T00:32:58Z")
Yes, I would. Why not? That, children, is one of the ways that now-old folks used to meet people. You’d be out, someone would like how you looked or something, and they’d ask you to get a drink or cup of coffee. You’d chat, maybe have lunch for the next date, and so on. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/22 "2016-02-13T00:48:19Z")
Way back when I was living in NYC, and young and single (and much better looking than now), this sort of thing happened all the time. Of course with gaydar, much of it happened with body language rather than “asking out.” But it happened. I actually regret the times I didn’t follow through. But anyway . . . it’s more or less how I met my husband. Nowadays, at my current age and appearance, I’d check the friendliness of the guy’s seeing-eye dog. **Maggie the Ocelot** : You would have been a total failure as a gay urban man in the '70s. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/23 "2016-02-13T00:59:33Z")
Turn her down, even if I wasn’t married. My blood has cooled considerably since my promiscuous youth. It takes more than mere possession of a vagina to pique my interest these days. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/24 "2016-02-13T01:23:42Z")
I’m 63 years old. I’d ask her if she needed help finding her glasses. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/25 "2016-02-13T01:30:17Z")
I’d wake up and realize that the damn alarm had not gone off… ---
**Author:** ![appleaday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@appleaday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleaday)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/26 "2016-02-13T01:51:14Z")
I’d be pretty leery about a total stranger approaching me in that fashion. He might _seem_ okay, but con artists and psychos can be very charming. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/27 "2016-02-13T01:56:09Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > I’m 63 years old. I’d ask her if she needed help finding her glasses. Grin! Much the same boat. That said, sure, I’d go to a coffee-and-doughnuts date with her. Low risk, far’s I’m concerned. I can keep my opinions moderate enough to be safe. If she turns out to be a Cliven Bundy or Fred Phelps supporter, I can just shrug, say, “Well, it’s been nice,” and skedaddle. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/28 "2016-02-13T02:07:59Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Way back when I was living in NYC, and young and single (and much better looking than now), this sort of thing happened all the time. Of course with gaydar, much of it happened with body language rather than “asking out.” But it happened. Back when I was young I met quite a few women in Japan on the trains or whereever. Mostly it would be from the way they looked that you could tell their interest. As I got older those looks faded away. ---
**Author:** ![Pantastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3bc359/32.png) [@Pantastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantastic)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/29 "2016-02-13T02:24:14Z")
I would find it really strange, because women don’t usually work like that, but I’d take up the offer and see what happens. It’s very low risk, if she turns out to be an Amway salesman or missionary or the like I can just bail. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/30 "2016-02-13T02:24:25Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Way back when I was living in NYC, and young and single (and much better looking than now), this sort of thing happened all the time. Of course with gaydar, much of it happened with body language rather than “asking out.” But it happened. I actually regret the times I didn’t follow through. But anyway . . . it’s more or less how I met my husband. > > Nowadays, at my current age and appearance, I’d check the friendliness of the guy’s seeing-eye dog. > > **Maggie the Ocelot** : You would have been a total failure as a gay urban man in the '70s. I’m a straight woman, but in my visits to NYC back in the early 80s (when I was also young and single), I was approached by more strangers in a week than I normally would have been in months elsewhere. It would have been very easy to go on lots of dates there this way, I think, and I’m sure if I’d lived there, I would have done so. People in public look at their phones these days, not each other. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/31 "2016-02-13T02:37:36Z")
I would start to shake, just a little at first and then with increasing vigor, my eyes would bulge and then my head would explode. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/32 "2016-02-13T02:53:30Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I didn’t intend for the invitation to be for something immediate, but the OP doesn’t specify. My bad. > > If the invitation is less immediate – say it’s Friday afternoon, and the person is inviting you for coffee Sunday afternoon – does your answer change? Ahhh I read the “coffee around the corner” bit as being an invite to do so right then and there. Still probably a no, though. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/33 "2016-02-13T03:05:01Z")
> [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](#): > > Married now, but when I was single: > > Hell. No. > > I don’t date people I don’t know, especially if they’re the ones coming on to me, even more especially if they want to do something _right then_. I might exchange emails with him and chat a bit that way then meet up when I have a bit of a sense of who he is, but…yeah. No. > > I am really surprised to see how many people are saying they’d go off somewhere immediately with a stranger, and not at minimum tell a friend what they’re doing, where they’re going, and with whom they’re going. It seems hella unsafe. > > … So…you’re saying that if you were in the grocery store parking lot headed for your car, and a plain white van with no side windows cuts you off, and a guy with reeeeeeally long fingernails wearing a hoodie and wraparound mirrored sunglasses leans out, flashes his yellowed teeth at you and whispers, “Hey, Girlie-bob, climb in and I’ll take you somewhere nice. Hehe,” you wouldn’t go with him right then and there? Party pooper. ETA: In case it’s not clear, this is meant to be humorous. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/34 "2016-02-13T04:02:57Z")
I think my likelihood of saying yes would be about 70%. But it would be strange for a total stranger to ask me out like that. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/35 "2016-02-13T05:43:59Z")
> [@SirRay](#): > > Sadly, no actual lady matching the OP description has asked me this…(directly asking is definitely a body signal I would notice) Yeah, I know; and we all thought Skald’s hypotheticals were unlikely. But I’ll play along. Potentially, sure. I mean, it would be especially weird if it was just totally out of the blue. Seems like there should be a little bit of conversation first. Either way, I hope I’d have the nerve to accept (and a clue what was happening). ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/36 "2016-02-13T06:12:18Z")
“I’m old enough to be your mother. Get thee to Spec Savers.” ---
**Author:** ![Kaio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c68b51/32.png) [@Kaio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaio)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 9:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/37 "2016-02-13T09:46:51Z")
It depends entirely on context and how they asked. Silently walk up to me, blink at me for a couple seconds, and then blurt out “Hey wanna go get coffee or something?” I’d give them the death glare before walking away. Double negative points for silently approaching me from behind (yes, this has actually happened and it _never_ ends well). If they acknowledge that they are intruding on my time and attention, ask permission to engage in conversation, and make some sort of intelligent attempt to engage with me intellectually and learn something about me as a person, and _only then_ ask, I’d consider it if the conversational vibe was good. But I’m not into being approached as a piece of meat / sex dispensing object. That’s what 98% of approaches are, and I’m quite jaded to them by now. If said person hasn’t educated themselves (come on, it’s 2016), I am _so uninterested_ in trying to educate them. I ain’t got time for that shit. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 10:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/38 "2016-02-13T10:12:41Z")
It honestly surprises me that anyone would say no. I don’t understand how a low key affair in public is risky. I don’t understand how a low care affair is someone treating you like a peace of meat. I don’t understand why they are a stranger if they’ve been flirting with you for a while. And they’re obviously more than just a vagina if they are attractive. In fact, I was going to ask Skald what the reason was we might say no. It seems like he set up everything perfectly. But, apparently other people don’t agree with me. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/39 "2016-02-13T10:21:56Z")
I give this OP the speculative “MMMaaayyybbbeee” simply because this is pretty close to how I met my first wife. Allayas “old people” yep it still works that way, sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/40 "2016-02-13T10:24:35Z")
I did the asking, she said yes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973.md?page=3)