# At the grocery store, an attractive person of your preferred sex asks you out. Your reaction? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 12, 2016, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973 "2016-02-12T21:39:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/41 "2016-02-13T11:57:38Z")
Sure, since I’m available - you already covered all the bases with attractive, not skeevy etc. FTR, if I were available, I would also accept offers for hooking up rather than coffee… ---
**Author:** ![MoonMoon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moonmoon/32/2959_2.png) [@MoonMoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoonMoon)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/42 "2016-02-13T12:17:23Z")
This used to happen to me quite often, and I only said yes a couple of times. Those times involved very funny, charismatic men who took the time to chat to me (one was in an airport and one was on a train - I used to be a road warrior) before getting to the asking out bit. That gave me a chance to see if my brain was interested, because if it isn’t, ain’t nothin’ else gonna be interested either. It was still a hard sell in both cases, because it _wasn’t_ organic; they were motivated purely by looks, just like the dudes who go straight to ‘hit on/ask for a date/proposition you’. If you want to know why women seem cold and closed off in public sometimes, it’s because they’ve probably dealt with far too many of the latter and it’s safer to just not engage. ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/43 "2016-02-13T13:11:02Z")
First I’d say I don’t drink coffee. Then I’d agree to meet, but I would be highly suspicious about it. I’m a guy. I’m not good looking, nor do I look wealthy. Ladies do not ask me out. I’m not physically imposing, either, (tall but skinny) so people _do_ feel welcome to try scamming me, which leads me to being extremely suspicious of anyone I don’t know approaching me. I’d be waiting for the [badger game](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger_game) to kick in. Fortunately for me I’m not single anyway, and I am in fact very happy with my ladyfriend. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/44 "2016-02-13T14:18:50Z")
The grocery store? I’d squeeze her peaches, check her use-by date, make sure the cans not dented, then put her in my cart. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/45 "2016-02-13T14:33:32Z")
Sure, it couldn’t be worse than my current situation. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/46 "2016-02-13T14:45:13Z")
> [@Shakester](#): > > I’d be waiting for the [badger game](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger_game) to kick in. What kinda clip joint do you think this is? ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/47 "2016-02-13T14:56:24Z")
> [@appleaday](#): > > I’d be pretty leery about a total stranger approaching me in that fashion. He might _seem_ okay, but con artists and psychos can be very charming. One of the things you learn as you interact with people outside of your immediate comfort zone, is how to avoid the con artists and psychos. I can now size a person up in just a few minutes and figure out if they are ok or not. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/48 "2016-02-13T15:15:58Z")
Absolutely. I’m assuming they had enough notice of me (seeing my interact with the cashier / liked my smile / watched me open a door for an elderly person / whatever) to warrant their interest and it’s already been addressed that they’re cute and not creepy, so why not? Sounds like something fun could happen and I definitely like spontaneous people who don’t take life too seriously. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/49 "2016-02-13T18:02:31Z")
What does “asks you out” mean? Why can’t we have have less vague terms for personal relationships? The famous question “Would you date someone who . . .?” means what, exactly? Sex, or not necessarily? Define “date”. I’ve “dated” lots of girls I never had sex with. Maybe most of them. OK. I opened a new account at the bank in my supermarket lobby, the girl was nice. I did my shopping, and as I was leaving, she was just relaxing on a bench outside. “On your lunch break?” “Yeah” “Come on across the street with me to Jack in the Box, I’ll buy you lunch” “OK” What just happened there? Does that qualify for a response to this thread? Did I “ask her out”? ---
**Author:** ![appleaday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/41988e/32.png) [@appleaday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleaday)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/50 "2016-02-13T19:29:37Z")
> [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > One of the things you learn as you interact with people outside of your immediate comfort zone, is how to avoid the con artists and psychos. I can now size a person up in just a few minutes and figure out if they are ok or not. Just as you have immediately sized me up as someone who doesn’t deal with people outside her comfort zone? Buddy, _I’m_ the one outside of most people’s comfort zone. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/51 "2016-02-13T19:40:31Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > What does “asks you out” mean? Why can’t we have have less vague terms for personal relationships? The famous question “Would you date someone who . . .?” means what, exactly? Sex, or not necessarily? Define “date”. I’ve “dated” lots of girls I never had sex with. Maybe most of them. > > OK. I opened a new account at the bank in my supermarket lobby, the girl was nice. I did my shopping, and as I was leaving, she was just relaxing on a bench outside. > “On your lunch break?” > “Yeah” > “Come on across the street with me to Jack in the Box, I’ll buy you lunch” > “OK” > > What just happened there? Does that qualify for a response to this thread? Did I “ask her out”? " Ask X out " is a clear and common idiom. It means to invite X on a social engagement. “Date” is a little more ambiguous, but nit every. It can meet to regularly engage in social engagements as a romantic partner but without formal commitment, or it can be a euphemism for copulate with regularly. The difference is generally clear from the context. I assume you’re new to English. If perhaps s poorly programmed android. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/52 "2016-02-13T19:45:59Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > " Ask X out " is a clear and common idiom. It means to invite X on a social engagement. > > “Date” is a little more ambiguous, but nit every. It can meet to regularly engage in social engagements as a romantic partner but without formal commitment, or it can be a euphemism for copulate with regularly. The difference is generally clear from the context. > > I assume you’re new to English. If perhaps s poorly programmed android. _Beep_ An exchange of bodily fluids may enhance the transaction_Beep_ ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/53 "2016-02-13T21:04:29Z")
It’s a [BlackPeopleMeet.com](http://BlackPeopleMeet.com) commerical, and it drives me nuts every time it comes on. They’re both eyeballing the heck out of each other, he does the whole juggling the produce thing to impress her, and then they juuuuuuuuust miss each other in the checkout line. YOU’VE HAD THE WHOLE STORE TO SAY SOMETHING. ---
**Author:** ![Cognoscant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Cognoscant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cognoscant)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/54 "2016-02-13T21:40:06Z")
Well, now my answer is a little different than it would have been just a few weeks ago. “Are you polyamorous? I could be interested if you are too.” Although at this stage I’d have to be really careful that nobody I knew was anywhere near. All in all I think I’d rather get asked out at a poly meetup, or just find someone on OKCupid like everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/55 "2016-02-13T21:51:26Z")
When I was single and available, I would politely say I don’t date. If he bothered me after that I would say something far less polite. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/56 "2016-02-13T23:02:15Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > When I was single and available, I would politely say I don’t date. If he bothered me after that I would say something far less polite. How did you stop being available if you categorically refused to date? ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/57 "2016-02-13T23:09:02Z")
> [@BetsQ](#): > > This has actually happened to me! **Skald** , I’m disappointed in this thread. Your hypothetical are usually _so_ far out there but this one; this one has actually happened! You’re slipping! P.S. I’d say yes if asked. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/58 "2016-02-13T23:12:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > “Date” is a little more ambiguous, but nit every. . . . > > I assume you’re new to English. If perhaps s poorly programmed android. Yes, I am, but I’m trying to learn. Please explain “but nit every”. Should I add the article “s” to my vocabulary? Actually, I’ve been dating for more than 60 years, and the parameters of the social dynamic are not always even mutually understood by the participants. You didn’t relate to my question. If X is already out, and I say I’ll buy you lunch, have I asked X out? ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2016, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/59 "2016-02-13T23:24:57Z")
No. Casual conversation at the grocery store does not a safe introduction make. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2016, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973/60 "2016-02-14T00:02:35Z")
> [@purplehearingaid](#): > > This happen to me 43 years ago , I was at a grocery store for a friend and this handsome Black man came up to me , we gotten talking and went out and I now have a beautiful 43 yo daughter and she has a beautiful daughter too. Yeah I would go out with the guy . What race are you? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-grocery-store-an-attractive-person-of-your-preferred-sex-asks-you-out-your-reaction/745973.md?page=4)