# At the risk of being crude, that's only five, Paul. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574 "2010-08-08T03:29:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/1 "2010-08-08T03:29:14Z")
1. Slip out the back, Jack 2. Make a new plan, Stan 3. You don’t need to be coy, Roy 4. Hope on the bus, Gus 5. Just drop off the key, Lee There must be 45 more ways to leave your lover. Specifically, there must be at least 45 more one-syllable first names that can be rhymed with brief advice relating to a romantic retreat, at least tangentially (“you don’t need to be coy” is not exactly an escape plan). Common one-syllable men’s and women’s names are acceptable. No re-using names or words that rhyme with names. Please number contributions. I’ll start: 1. Run out in the street, Pete. 2. Click your heels and wish, Trish ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/2 "2010-08-08T03:35:42Z")
8.Hop on your bike, Mike 9.Head out to the lawn, Ron 10.Put some miles on your heels, Niels ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/3 "2010-08-08T03:40:16Z")
… ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/4 "2010-08-08T03:45:47Z")
1. Abandon ship, Chip. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/5 "2010-08-08T03:49:06Z")
1. Get a new address, Tess. ---
**Author:** ![Drum\_God](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drum_god/32/44_2.png) [@Drum\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drum_God)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/6 "2010-08-08T03:51:28Z")
1. Just make the call, Paul. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/7 "2010-08-08T03:55:17Z")
Just run down the lane, Lane. ---
**Author:** ![JohnT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnt/32/15048_2.png) [@JohnT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnT)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/8 "2010-08-08T04:00:38Z")
Stop paying her bills, Will Write her out of the will, Bill Drain the accounts, Mount And set yourself free… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/9 "2010-08-08T04:04:51Z")
1. Shoot yourself in the head, Fred. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/10 "2010-08-08T04:06:21Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > 9.Head out to the lawn, Ron If were’re doing this: 1. Make life a tree and leaf, Steve. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/11 "2010-08-08T04:06:56Z")
1. Just hop on a vessel, Cecil. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/12 "2010-08-08T04:16:14Z")
And in Bangkok: Sneak out the hotel door, boor. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/13 "2010-08-08T04:31:16Z")
Is it 22 now? Get caught with a ho, Joe. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/14 "2010-08-08T04:39:50Z")
1. Kill her dead, Red. 2. Drop her in a ditch, Rich. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/15 "2010-08-08T04:41:34Z")
Fake your own death, Jeff. Go in Witness Protection, Jackson. Get caught dipping your wick, Vic. Go clinically insane, Zane. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/16 "2010-08-08T04:42:37Z")
1. Tell her you’re gay, Ray ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/17 "2010-08-08T04:43:28Z")
Tell her you’re gay, Ray ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/18 "2010-08-08T04:49:53Z")
If there’s ever a simulpost hall-of-fame, I say that one makes it in on the first ballot. 1. Send her a text, Rex. In a broader sense, the song does include a sixth way. Start a conversation on the many ways to leave your lover, and when he asks you to explain, tell him he’ll understand in the morning. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/19 "2010-08-08T04:52:30Z")
Go for a swim, Jim. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/20 "2010-08-08T04:58:50Z")
Flight of the Conchords wrote [a song](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tErfaUvvw9A) in a similar vein. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574.md?page=2)