# At the risk of being crude, that's only five, Paul. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574 "2010-08-08T03:29:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/61 "2010-08-09T01:35:51Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > > [@wolfman](#): > > > > Oh your one of those 😉 They rhyme perfectly to most of us > > Wait, lawn and Ron rhyme perfectly to most people? > > Do brawn and con rhyme? If not, which one rhymes with lawn and Ron? I’d have picked Sean as a better rhyme for lawn. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/62 "2010-08-09T01:44:14Z")
So does this mean that the original song was sexist for thinking only women would be wronged this way? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/63 "2010-08-09T01:52:19Z")
Kill his whole family, Emily. ---
**Author:** ![Enuma\_Elish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5e9695/32.png) [@Enuma\_Elish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enuma_Elish)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/64 "2010-08-09T03:15:46Z")
I see that Little Nemo and The Devil’s Grandmother have both used the name Chris. I propose, though, that since the song is about breaking up, a more apropo response would be: Suck on this Chris! ---
**Author:** ![MadTheSwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/65 "2010-08-09T03:48:52Z")
Come in her mouth,Ralph. Stick it in her pooper,Cooper. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/66 "2010-08-09T04:35:27Z")
Welcome to 1976…the same question was asked in issue 1 of Larry Flynt’s _Chic_ magazine… ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/67 "2010-08-09T04:58:19Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > > [@wolfman](#): > > > > Oh your one of those 😉 They rhyme perfectly to most of us > > Wait, lawn and Ron rhyme perfectly to most people? They do to Thais, who always say Rawn, Dawn and Jawn for the English names Ron, don and John. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/68 "2010-08-09T05:06:38Z")
Flush her down the john, Don… ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/69 "2010-08-09T13:05:05Z")
In the spirit of Leykis 101: Just dump the bitch, Mitch ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/70 "2010-08-09T13:24:36Z")
Start wearing a skirt, Kurt Try on a dress, Les Give him a brassiere, Guiniviere ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/71 "2010-08-09T13:30:29Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > So does this mean that the original song was sexist for thinking only women would be wronged this way? 😃 “Just drop off the key, Lee” could be considered unisex. Also, you’re not considering the possibility of same-sex relationships. Of course, in the verses of the song it’s a woman listing ways the narrator might leave _her_, knowing that he won’t, so women’s names (or homosexual references – “Deny him your dick, Rick”) would have been out of place. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/72 "2010-08-09T13:48:31Z")
> [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](#): > > Tell him you’re a lez, Bez Bez? ::Google:: Polish boy’s name. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/73 "2010-08-09T13:51:14Z")
Tell her you’re a homo, Cuomo. Lay a great big fart, Art. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/74 "2010-08-09T14:07:00Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Tell her you’re a homo, Cuomo. > **Lay a great big fart, Art.** I wonder if Garfunkel did that. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/75 "2010-08-09T14:09:06Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > > [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > > > Tell her you’re a homo, Cuomo. > > **Lay a great big fart, Art.** > > I wonder if Garfunkel did that. You got the reference!The “Art” part came first. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/76 "2010-08-09T14:53:34Z")
Surprisingly, it looks like no one has yet offered a rhyme for “Chuck.” ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/77 "2010-08-09T15:34:16Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Surprisingly, it looks like no one has yet offered a rhyme for “Chuck.” Fuck a duck, Chuck? ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/78 "2010-08-09T16:06:22Z")
Tell him you’re gonna sue, Sue Treat him like diarrhoea, Rhia Say you never missed him, Kristin Say he’s no good at sex, Becks. I’m not at all bothered about Ron rhyming with lawn, but Mount as a name? I mean, I know anything _can_ be a name, but if you take that too literally then you have any old word there rather than one that people would recognise as an actual name. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/79 "2010-08-09T16:08:58Z")
Take him off your meter, Rita (with a nod to Sir Paul) ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/80 "2010-08-09T16:24:11Z")
I have V.D., Didi It hurts when I piss, Chris Being tested for chlamydia, Lydia Wouldn’t you like some gonorrhea, Leah Need a script for penicillin, Ellen I think I got syphilis, Phyllis That’s a blister, Mister I got a uncurable virus, Iris [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574.md?page=5)