# At the risk of being crude, that's only five, Paul. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 8, 2010, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574 "2010-08-08T03:29:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/81 "2010-08-09T16:25:12Z")
I’m HIV, Lee ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/82 "2010-08-09T16:30:44Z")
Thats as big as it grows, Rose You need a bigger penis, Enos ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/83 "2010-08-09T16:45:32Z")
Just be a big liar, Tiger. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/84 "2010-08-09T17:36:03Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > Just be a big liar, Tiger. In every town screw a chick, Eldrick ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/85 "2010-08-09T22:30:00Z")
Find a new screw, Drew Burn her at the stake, Jake Beat her with a chain, Wayne Lose her in the park, Mark Make her life grim, Tim Tell her she’s fat, Pat Find a new “pal”, Hal and to answer **Tom Tildrum’s** challenge… Turn her out for a buck, Chuck ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/86 "2010-08-09T23:40:32Z")
Find a rarer fella, Clarabella Just act really dizzy, Lizzy Become a hella snore, Eleanor Say you’re going for a dude, Jude Say you ain’t gonna, Madonna Put him low in the tally, Sally Become very abusey, Lucy Just roll away farthuh, Martha Give him pure hell, Michelle Sign him up for spam, Pam Start to look like Grady, Sadie ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/87 "2010-08-10T01:27:25Z")
Hit her with a truck, Chuck ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/88 "2010-08-10T01:44:51Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > Find a rarer fella, Clarabella > Just act really dizzy, Lizzy > Become a hella snore, Eleanor > Say you’re going for a dude, Jude > Say you ain’t gonna, Madonna > Put him low in the tally, Sally > Become very abusey, Lucy > Just roll away farthuh, Martha > Give him pure hell, Michelle > Sign him up for spam, Pam > Start to look like Grady, Sadie You forgot “Say he made a fool o’ ya, Julia!” ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/89 "2010-08-10T02:06:10Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > Of course, in the verses of the song it’s a woman listing ways the narrator might leave _her_, knowing that he won’t, so women’s names (or homosexual references – “Deny him your dick, Rick”) would have been out of place. Really? I thought she was talking him into leaving someone else (and probably succeeded). ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/90 "2010-08-10T04:42:10Z")
Say you already gave, Dave Skip bail like a felon, Llewellyn ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/91 "2010-08-10T05:17:29Z")
Say she can’t make you cum, Lum. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/92 "2010-08-10T13:20:42Z")
/Say you can’t get a Boner, Homer Say you’ve gotten too large, Marge Hit her with a poison dart, Bart His her with a forzen pizza, Lisa Say your pants are too baggie, Maggie ---
**Author:** ![Meeko](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Meeko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meeko)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/93 "2010-08-10T14:54:08Z")
A bit past it’s prime but : [There must be 50 ways to get Bin Laden.](http://politicalhumor.about.com/library/multimedia/50ways.mp3) ---
**Author:** ![StusBlues](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@StusBlues](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StusBlues)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/94 "2010-08-10T14:57:54Z")
Find a new hole, Joel. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574/95 "2010-08-10T15:16:01Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > You forgot “Say he made a fool o’ ya, Julia!” :smack: _Good one_. Congratulations. That was Beautiful. I tried but it was Late in the Evening after a Long, Long Day and my brain was a little Cloudy. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-the-risk-of-being-crude-thats-only-five-paul/549574.md?page=4)