Gaijin’s revenge: complement effusively on their rad spoon skilz. 
Unfortunately irony or sarcasm is Not Got here - it gets me into deep water with my husband very often as I tend to forget when I am pissed off about something, which leads to ever more convoluted misunderstandings…
Er, the ‘one at a time’ method is the one I’ve seen in American American-Chinese restaurants, if you mean just bringing out individual dishes of food for each guest as opposed to massive platters or what have you? IME those are the ones that have become more Westernized to fit into American ideas of Asian cuisine, for the most part, while more strongly Chinese restaurants stick with the communal dish method you describe.
man, now I’m hungry for a good Chinese feed. 
Well, it certainly took your mind off, I guess.
Well, yes! That and Abba’s “Honey Honey” playing as all this went on. It’s one of the more bizzarre memories of my life!
This is how both me and my Chinese SO feel. So Siam Sam, you have met at least three who don’t like it.
I really don’t get why it’s necessary - it’s just an awkward sounding title at best. Oriental meaning…from the Orient? eh?
I assure you it’s a non-issue in Thailand.
How about I make it up to you by starting a thread asking at what age Indian children learn to do tech support. 
Ouch! Stop hitting me!!!
Well, that’s good. 
I didn’t think Thai were the only Asians, either, though!
As in the other threads on the same subject, I just asked my Thai wife what she thought about “Oriental,” and she suggested people who take offense at it may be a bit too sensitive.
Like others have said, kids in Japan start using them really young. I’ve seen a few three or four year olds preferentially use spoons for most dishes, and I’ve seen some horrible technique in older kids, but they are most definitely using chopsticks almost exclusively by school age.
Hokkaido Brit, I’m with you. I #§¢%ing hate that kind of question. I have retaliated by asking if they can use a fork, but then I’m treated to the Blank Look of Utter Incomprehension™, because of course Japanese utensils are genetically coded to burn the hands of unauthorized gaijin while using forks and knives is simply an acquired skill.
What’s worse in some ways is the condescending おはし上手！ The fuck? Of course I can use chopsticks well. I’ve been living in Japan for close to eight years and learned how to eat with chopsticks when I was bloody five. I probably spill less often than I do when eating with a fork, and I certainly use them more now than Western utensils. Besides, I don’t need affirmation that I’m a big boy now and can use tools just like a real grown-up!
It’s not exactly racism, as often the people saying it have no plans to hurt or insult, but it is “othering” for want of a better word. I accept that I will never be fully included but I do really hurt on behalf of my children who are constantly complimented on their good Japanese which drives them wild - after all they ARE Japanese, and they were born here. My nearly twelve year old, after hearing it yet again the other weekend, turned around to me and said in English, “Does she think I’ve been walking around with my fingers stuck in my ears for the past 11 years???”
But as you say Sleel, it’s the “genetically determined skills” so of course a gaijin must be praised to the skies if they show the slightest sign of skill in any of those areas, always with a tone of surprise. And let’s not even get into the fact that my kids are NOT gaijin and have nowhere to go except this country.
I’m thai-american, and I find it annoying when people call me “oriental.” Not offended, per se - I just take it as a sign that the person speaking to me is, err… out of touch. Just my two cents.
In my experience, the Asians who don’t take offense at being called Oriental are generally not Asian Americans, and have not had the kind of experiences that cause the rest of us to cringe a bit when we hear it applied to us. YMMV.
Happens here to. My Korean born son who has been in the U.S. since he was six months old surprises people with his excellent English. People are amazingly dumb.
And, from what I can tell, its usually more of the twinge thing than actually taking offense for most Asians. Some Asian-Americans do get offended, but some people walk around offended that the sky is blue. The word HERE IN THE U.S. has connotations of being old-fashioned and sort of patronizing. Few people say “Negro” either - it isn’t necessarily an offensive word, just one used by people who are really out of touch (or in the titles or organizations founded long ago).
This “othering” happens even between yellow folks.
My favorite story along these lines comes from a friend of my father’s, who like him, immigrated to the US from China in the mid-1960s when he was in his early 30s. Like many of my parents’ generation, they spent a lot of their childhood fleeing from one part of China to another, with stays of a year or two in Nanjing, Shanghai, Kwangdong, etc., before ending up in Taiwan to escape the Communists (which is where they met). As a result most of them speak at least three or all four of the major different dialects of Chinese pretty well: Mandarin, Cantonese, Shanghai-ese and Taiwanese.
Anyway, at one point in his life, this guy (I’ll refer to him as my uncle since that’s really how I think of him) spent some time working as a driver for a car service in the NYC metro area. One day his fare was to pick up a Chinese businessman at the airport (with his lady traveling companion). While my uncle was putting his luggage in the trunk, the businessman gave him the scrutinizing “what kind of Asian are you” look, before bluntly asking him in English: “Are you Korean?”
Annoyed by the question, my uncle replied, “Yes. I am Korean.” And as the businessman and his companion got into the back of the car, he said to her in Mandarin, “See, I could tell he was Korean. Just look at his face… Tiny little eyes, a big nose, and a horse face that’s neither round nor square…”
As they drove along, the lady was rummaging in her purse and dropped something on the floor. So my uncle asked in Mandarin, “I can turn on a light if it would help you look.” Stunned, the businessman said (in English), “I thought you said you were Korean!” So my uncle gave him a story about how he was from North Korea, near the border with China, and had escaped to China in the 1950s before coming to the US.
The businessman then switched to talking about him to his companion in Shanghai-ese (“Can you believe this guy…”), with similar results. The last half hour of the ride was in a completely silent car.
I don’t think he got much of a tip for that ride, but he got a lot of satisfaction!
Othering just seems to be a human thing, unfortunately. I sympathize with your son, Dangerosa. I’ve experience the same, even from other Korean Americans - the other day I was on the subway (here in Seoul) and the two Korean Americans sitting in front of me kept talking shit about the girls around them, saying “Dude isn’t it cool no one can understand us? It must suck to be Korean and not understand English!” :rolleyes: I should have said something but I didn’t think the fuss would be worth it.
not that it matters, but chances are the businessmann started in shanghaiese then switched to mandarin. 99% of all shanghaiese just can’t help speaking it if both parties understand. it’s something i experience every day.
otherness exists as well in china. maybe a degree less in shanghai. my kids get it all the time even though they are native speakers.
An appropriate response to even a Japanese person dropping their chopsticks is “saru mo ki de ochiru”, which literally means “even monkeys fall from trees.”