# At what age is a man too old to wear cargo shorts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2017, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505 "2017-02-22T20:18:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Srsly\_Dad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@Srsly\_Dad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Srsly_Dad)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/81 "2017-02-23T15:48:13Z")
According to both my teenagers, at birth. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/82 "2017-02-23T15:56:26Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > People who care about fashion trends will tell you that cargo shorts and cargo pants are out of style of everyone, regardless of age. I still wear cargo shorts, though. Cargo pants, not so much. Until everyone gets rid of them and stops wearing them - then they will once again be the height of fashion. On vacation, wear what you want. Mowing the lawn, wear what you want. Going out to dinner, a funeral, a wedding, work… - think a little about what is appropriate for the occasion and the venue and select your clothing appropriately. (I spent some time in the leggings are not pants crowd, then started watching old Audrey Hepburn movies. I figure if fashion icon Audrey was wearing leggings as pants a decade before I was born, they’ve been pants for sixty years and its time to get over it.) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/83 "2017-02-23T17:38:40Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Cargo shorts are awesome and anyone who says otherwise is a communist. > > You know what’s even better than cargo shorts? Cargo _pants_. There is no such thing as too many pockets, and cargo pants provide the benefits of many pockets with additional bonuses like “concealing pasty or skinny legs” and “preventing sunburn”. 😃 Yeah, I’m 52 and I wear cargo shorts in summer and cargo pants in winter whenever I can get away with it. I keep my cellphone handy in my left cargo pocket (I’m left-handed) and my wallet in the right. Whenever I have to wear dressier pants I HATE having to put my wallet in my back pocket and sitting on it, not to mention awkwardly carrying my cell in one of the side pockets. Where do guys who don’t wear cargo pants typically keep their cellphones? I would hate to always have to keep it in a side upper pocket. Many years back a brand of pants (Dockers?) made what looked like regular chino/khakis but had a hidden zippered side pocket for phones. I had a couple pairs and they looked good and worked well, but unfortunately that didn’t catch on. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/84 "2017-02-23T18:41:04Z")
I kind of think it depends what shirt and shoes/socks you’re wearing with the shorts. If you’re wearing a polo or something vaguely dressy in the summer, along with boating shoes as a sort of stylish, dressed-up summer ensemble, then yeah, cargo shorts are probably not awesome. But if you’re wearing a t-shirt and sneakers or some sort of reasonable sandals, then cargo shorts are just fine. If you’re wearing a wife-beater and flip-flops, then they’re probably too dressy. Cut-offs or maybe some 1980s nut-huggers are more appropriate. Extra points for a mullet or a middle-parted and feathered hairdo. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/85 "2017-02-23T18:49:34Z")
Fuck that. You can’t wear jean shorts without being made fun of. Gym shorts are only good for the gym. Non-cargo shorts look like the shorts my grandfather wore. So what’s left? ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/86 "2017-02-23T18:55:21Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Fuck that. You can’t wear jean shorts without being made fun of. Gym shorts are only good for the gym. Non-cargo shorts look like the shorts my grandfather wore. So what’s left? In general, if someone’s an asshole enough to make fun of a clothing choice, aren’t they the problem rather than the clothes? ---
**Author:** ![BeeGee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b5a626/32.png) [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/87 "2017-02-23T19:17:03Z")
Thank GOD for cargo shorts. Nothing worse than going out to a baseball game or similar outing and have the guy with you hand off his wallet, keys, and glasses case for you to put in your purse cause they won’t fit in his skimpy pockets. I clean out my purse, get it down to the essentials so I won’t be weighed down and now I’ve got to carry this shit as well? This might have saved my marriage. Wait, not a selling point. Scratch that. They might have made me a slightly less miserable person until I escaped. Honestly, if we’re talking about casual outings, why would you object to them? Now if cargo shorts man expects his companion to be Vogue woman, then we’ve got a problem. As for the OP’s dress shirts, did you mean really dress shirts or just shirts with buttons? Camp shirts have buttons and short sleeves, but aren’t dress shirts. I find them cooler in hot weather because they’re not sticking to you. T-shirts are fine at any age as near as I can tell. You might want to make sure they’re in good shape. And don’t be afraid of color. Lot’s of men seem to only wear white, black or that god awful baby blue. ---
**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/88 "2017-02-23T19:24:32Z")
I find that the older I get (I’m 69 now) the more random crap I need to carry around, (meds, reading glasses, etc.), so the more pockets the better. Anybody who doesn’t like my choices in clothing can bite me. Personally, I like Dickies brand. They’re almost permanent press and they have an extra pocket on the right leg just for my cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/89 "2017-02-23T19:28:29Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > In general, if someone’s an asshole enough to make fun of a clothing choice, aren’t they the problem rather than the clothes? Exactly. My naughty bits are hidden. Anything beyond that is gravy. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/90 "2017-02-23T19:42:26Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Exactly. My naughty bits are hidden. Anything beyond that is gravy. Ew. 😃 (Sorry, now I can’t get rid of the image of a guy wearing cargo shorts with gravy cascading down his legs.) As for me, I’m female and I love my cargo shorts (and cargo pants!) I refuse to carry a purse, so I need pockets, dammit! Also, I think cargo shorts look much better and more masculine on a guy than those chino shorts in the Business Insider article. Shorts aren’t supposed to look put-together and sleek! If you want that look, put on some pants. (That said, I don’t give a fig what anybody wears. You do you–as long as your bits are covered in areas where they’re supposed to be covered, it’s none of my business what you choose to wear.) ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/91 "2017-02-23T20:14:45Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > [No man should wear cargo shorts](http://www.businessinsider.com/why-no-man-should-wear-cargo-shorts-2016-8). > > Uh. . . yeah. . . I’m in the same demographics as many of the posters above and have no immediate plans of discarding mine. I like how that article describes how cargo shorts are a late 90’s staple that has persisted too long, and then goes on ask “what are you even putting in those pockets?”. Gosh, if only there was something that has changed about what I carry in my pockets sense the 90’s. Maybe something that might need a large pocket that I don’t sit on. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/92 "2017-02-23T20:40:14Z")
A man is too old to wear cargo pants when he becomes cargo - of the pine box variety - himself. ---
**Author:** ![Turpentine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Turpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turpentine)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/93 "2017-02-23T20:46:41Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > I like how that article describes how cargo shorts are a late 90’s staple that has persisted too long, and then goes on ask “what are you even putting in those pockets?”. > > Gosh, if only there was something that has changed about what I carry in my pockets sense the 90’s. Maybe something that might need a large pocket that I don’t sit on. Yeah, it is a pretty silly article. For what it’s worth, my husband is 34 and wears cargo shorts. I think he’s a hottie. In that same article, they have a picture of cargo shorts next to a picture of “chino” shorts. The non-cargo ones look hideous. Like Dad-shorts. Squaresville, and douchey to boot. Besides, only old people ever use the word “chino.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/94 "2017-02-23T21:05:20Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > Exactly. My naughty bits are hidden. Anything beyond that is **gravy**. So that’s what they’re calling it now? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/95 "2017-02-23T21:20:26Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > I like how that article describes how cargo shorts are a late 90’s staple that has persisted too long, and then goes on ask “what are you even putting in those pockets?”. > > Gosh, if only there was something that has changed about what I carry in my pockets sense the 90’s. Maybe something that might need a large pocket that I don’t sit on. …and you know that fashionistas have long declared anathema on holsters and belt clips for your mobile device. (It’s not just the mobile, it’s the charger and wire too. ) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/96 "2017-02-23T22:13:44Z")
I’m picturing **Spiderman** winging through the metropolitan skyline in a pair of Cargo shorts. It could work. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/97 "2017-02-23T22:59:19Z")
If your ball sack hangs out of the leg of your shorts you’re either too old or the shorts are too short. One is a lot more easily corrected than the other. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/98 "2017-02-23T23:02:19Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > If your ball sack hangs out of the leg of your shorts you’re either too old or the shorts are too short. One is a lot more easily corrected than the other. Does it involve tying in a knot, tying in a bow? ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2017, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/99 "2017-02-23T23:03:37Z")
> [@Bill\_Door](#): > > If your ball sack hangs out of the leg of your shorts you’re either too old or the shorts are too short. One is a lot more easily corrected than the other. They covered this on “Friends;” one of Phoebe’s boyfriends was showing “brain.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2017, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/100 "2017-02-24T00:35:54Z")
You’re never too old for cargo shorts. Men are always too old for short Jean cutoffs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505.md?page=6)