# At what age is a man too old to wear cargo shorts? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2017, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505 "2017-02-22T20:18:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2017, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/121 "2017-02-26T22:21:25Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > You mean, increased exposure to the sun? Ask any Australian about the dangers of skin cancer. Absolutely. It’s one of the frustrating paradoxes about Australia - it’s so damn hot for half the year you’ll really want to wear shorts, but if you get badly sunburnt (from wearing shorts) then you’ve got to watch out for unpleasant things like melanoma. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2017, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/122 "2017-02-26T22:48:29Z")
I’m trying to get my mind around the idea that there is such a thing as “dressy shorts”. Okay, when I was stationed in the Bahamas, we could wear shorts with our dungaree work uniform but they had to be hemmed. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/123 "2017-02-27T00:33:39Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > They are still the height of fashion for roadies, along with worn band shirts and a gut overhanging the belt. Well, since I’m my own roadie, I’m perfectly attired! Are Doc Martens without socks part of that uniform by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Weisshund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba8739/32.png) [@Weisshund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weisshund)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/124 "2017-02-27T04:03:45Z")
> [@scabpicker](#): > > Are Doc Martens without socks part of that uniform by any chance? Hell no. You need socks or they start stinking bad inside, and nothing short of cremation gets the smell out ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/125 "2017-02-27T04:52:42Z")
I remember vaguely becoming aware a few years back that men wearing cargo shorts were like Hitler or something. A) the fashion industry every few years decides the latest rage for men is wearing makeup and “men’s skirts.” Give it up, we just aren’t your market. B) ladies, get over it. No we aren’t going to spend half our income on outfits, and nobody’s making you do it but your sisters. Quit putting your fashion oppression on men. We’ll wear what the fuck we want. You get to wear vulva pants without getting arrested. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/126 "2017-02-27T05:38:10Z")
> [@Weisshund](#): > > Hell no. > > You need socks or they start stinking bad inside, and nothing short of cremation gets the smell out Meh: 1. Lysol does a good job of disinfecting them at around the 5 year mark. 2. They’re feet. They’re going to smell pretty bad when it’s 100 degrees outside, no mater what you do. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/127 "2017-02-27T11:36:55Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > then you’ve got to watch out for unpleasant things like melanoma. What do Australian cargo shorts have to do with our pretend First Lady?😕 ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/128 "2017-02-27T11:49:51Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > Depending on just who is running my favorite funeral home at the time, possibly. The amusement park sweatshirt is already a given and arranged; my favorite defunct park since we’ll both be dead then. The shorts though ---- there it can be a little more complicated. > If you’ve read me in other threads on the subject you may remember I also want a knock-knock joke and the song Rainbow Connection at my funeral. What I wear is going to be likewise fitting to my personality. Hey, I’m all for it. I’m still miffed that the clothes Mom chose for Dad’s corpse were a suit he’d worn once and which didn’t fit (poor guy had lost all the extra weight he never had). ---
**Author:** ![Enright3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/enright3/32/2897_2.png) [@Enright3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enright3)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/129 "2017-02-27T20:03:02Z")
> [@ioioio](#): > > What’s the point of growing old if you continue to care what other people think? Wear whatever you like, and tell those smart-mouthed kids to get off your lawn. > On the other hand, I’ve spent a lifetime trying to get my father to give up high water pants. Plus, his waistbands are migrating toward his armpits. I’d be thrilled to see him in properly situated cargo shorts. > [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > You do realize how tremendously your two paragraphs contradict each other, right? > mmm Yes and No… On one hand you are talking about if you SHOULD wear an item of clothing, on the other hand you’re talking about HOW clothing is worn. Cargo Shorts = OK Cargo Shorts worn under your armpits or show your ass crack is showing = No OK. It’s the difference between “You shouldn’t wear that type of clothing anymore.” and “That particular piece of clothing you’re wearing doesn’t fit you well.” ---
**Author:** ![Tzigone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Tzigone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tzigone)\ **Post date:** [February 27, 2017, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/130 "2017-02-27T23:38:13Z")
> [@Dr\_Paprika](#): > > You’re never too old for cargo shorts. Men are always too old for short Jean cutoffs. As a woman, I’ll disagree. I’ve seen some good looking ones in the past (okay, so it was on 80s tv, but still). And, as far as your attractive-tv-star-and-athlete set - I really like short shorts on a guy, too. And even for the ordinary-looking set, I prefer ones that aren’t covering the knees and big enough for four legs (thinking of how basketball shorts were last time I bothered to pay attention; which has been a while). ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [February 28, 2017, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/131 "2017-02-28T14:24:00Z")
\*\*At what age is a man too old to wear cargo shorts? \*\* Wear whatever you feel comfortable in, especially while yelling at kids to get off your lawn. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/132 "2017-03-01T18:08:42Z")
I wear them quite frequently.You can see evidence on my SD user profile and in the SD Portrait Gallery. Not very fetching legs however. ☹ ETA more data ---
**Author:** ![DrumBum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e79b87/32.png) [@DrumBum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrumBum)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/133 "2017-03-01T18:16:28Z")
I wear them quite frequently.You can see evidence on my SD user profile and in the SD Portrait Gallery. Not very fetching legs however. [More data](http://www.cbsnews.com/news/cargo-short-debate-to-wear-or-not-to-wear-fashion-faux-pas/)😃 ---
**Author:** ![Allthegood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@Allthegood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Allthegood)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/134 "2017-03-01T18:24:43Z")
Dress in accordance with the circumstances, not according to your age. If you want to wear cargo shorts on informal occasions, wear them and don’t worry about being “too old” for them. ---
**Author:** ![swampspruce](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampspruce/32/261_2.png) [@swampspruce](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampspruce)\ **Post date:** [March 1, 2017, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/135 "2017-03-01T23:22:43Z")
Typical summer wear: cargo/board shorts, aloha shirt, merrill sandals no socks. Don’t like it? 😛 to you. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/136 "2017-03-02T05:51:59Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > [No man should wear cargo shorts](http://www.businessinsider.com/why-no-man-should-wear-cargo-shorts-2016-8). > > Uh. . . yeah. . . I’m in the same demographics as many of the posters above and have no immediate plans of discarding mine. Man, I am against cargo shorts, but I think the chino shorts and boat shoes look is worse. It’s like the shorts version of skinny jeans or diaper pants. Personally, I’m in the man who doesn’t wear shorts at all camp. I don’t think any shorts look good with any shoes or socks or body. I wear pants if it’s 100 degrees. But I’m not Tom Ford or anything. I think you should do what you want. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2017, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/137 "2017-03-02T06:02:54Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Yeah, I’m 52 and I wear cargo shorts in summer and cargo pants in winter whenever I can get away with it. I keep my cellphone handy in my left cargo pocket (I’m left-handed) and my wallet in the right. Whenever I have to wear dressier pants I HATE having to put my wallet in my back pocket and sitting on it, not to mention awkwardly carrying my cell in one of the side pockets. > > Where do guys who don’t wear cargo pants typically keep their cellphones? I would hate to always have to keep it in a side upper pocket. Many years back a brand of pants (Dockers?) made what looked like regular chino/khakis but had a hidden zippered side pocket for phones. I had a couple pairs and they looked good and worked well, but unfortunately that didn’t catch on. I had the Dockers mobile pants. I bought out the selection at one outlet store and the salesperson thought there was something wrong with me. I still have them in my closet but I am sure they are very unfashionable, especially the ones with pleats. I have a couple flat front pairs and what I like about them is they have the pockets but nothing is bulging. Also, this was pre-iPhone and the smartphone I had then was much bigger than the smartphones now, and it fit well in the hidden pocket. I work for myself and mostly wear jeans, and I always keep my phone in my left front pocket. I have always kept my wallet in my front right pocket, but I don’t really dress up (other than not wearing shorts). ---
**Author:** ![urban1a](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e47c2d/32.png) [@urban1a](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/urban1a)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/138 "2017-03-03T02:38:17Z")
I kinda hope that age is not 73. When I started wearing shorts on a regular basis, the only ones available had the cargo pockets, which i seldom put anything in. I bought a bunch of pairs which are now wearing out/too big/too small and need to be replaced. Now I can not find shorts with cargo pockets so I guess I’ll have to worry about whether I am too old to not wear shorts without cargo pockets. Bob ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2017, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505/139 "2017-03-03T13:17:01Z")
> [@urban1a](#): > > I kinda hope that age is not 73. When I started wearing shorts on a regular basis, the only ones available had the cargo pockets, which i seldom put anything in. I bought a bunch of pairs which are now wearing out/too big/too small and need to be replaced. Now I can not find shorts with cargo pockets so I guess I’ll have to worry about whether I am too old to not wear shorts without cargo pockets. > > Bob Unless something changed in the last 2 months [Kohls.com](http://Kohls.com) has all the cargo shorts you’ll ever need. They’re just not as short as some of us would prefer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-age-is-a-man-too-old-to-wear-cargo-shorts/780505.md?page=6)