# At what point do you start worrying about someone in the bathroom? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 26, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727 "2013-09-26T15:35:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/1 "2013-09-26T15:35:29Z")
I’ve been to the bathroom twice now in about an hour (combination of coffee and water) and both times I’ve seen the same woman, in the same stall. I know it is the same one because I can see her shoes and feet. Both times she hasn’t made a sound or moved. First time I figured she was just a shy pooper. But this time I’m a little concerned. She couldn’t have had a heart attack in there or something? I kind of want to knock on the door and ask her if she’s OK but if she’s just fine, how humiliating. I mean, maybe she’s just sick. If I go in again later and see her again…what do I do? Maybe I could ‘accidentally’ bump into her door and apologize and see if she responds? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/2 "2013-09-26T15:43:20Z")
Option 1: Sit in the stall next to hers and ask her for a square. If she responds “I don’t have a square to spare,” she’s alive and a fan of Seinfeld. Option 2: Sing “Shave and a haircut…” and wait to see if she yells out “Two bits!” IF she does, she’s alive and most likely an old-timey cartoon character. Option 3: Belt out “The stars at night are big and bright…” If she responds, she’s alive and either from Texas or a fan of “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.” Option 3: Look through the crack of the door, and hold that position until she responds or you can confirm that she’s dead. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/3 "2013-09-26T15:46:10Z")
Perhaps she’s been drinking coffee and water too and simply is on the same schedule as yourself. I’d think if she was in medical distress she’d have had a hard time remaining positioned on the toilet, instead slumping to one side or her legs splaying out. If you do see her during a third visit, maybe ask her a question… like if she has any Grey Poupon? ---
**Author:** ![Glazer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a88e57/32.png) [@Glazer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Glazer)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/4 "2013-09-26T15:49:13Z")
Maybe she’s asleep. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/5 "2013-09-26T15:51:08Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > If you do see her during a third visit, maybe ask her a question… like if she has any Grey Poupon? “I’ll Poupon **you**!” ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/6 "2013-09-26T16:07:31Z")
I guess it would depend on whether she smells like shit (leave her be) or smells like dead (call a wagon). If there is no smell, or the smell is confused with other possibly dead pooters, toss one of your bio-gifts over the top and see if she responds. If she does not, call a wagon. If she does, run like hell. That will be five cents, please. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/7 "2013-09-26T16:09:37Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > If you do see her during a third visit, maybe ask her a question… like if she has any Grey Poupon? On what? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/8 "2013-09-26T16:10:12Z")
Yeah maybe bumping into the door is a good idea. Tricky situation! I wouldn’t want to embarrass her either but that’s a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/9 "2013-09-26T16:18:53Z")
any updates? It’s been another hour ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/10 "2013-09-26T16:33:45Z")
Didn’t [Stephen King already do this?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneakers_(short_story)) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/11 "2013-09-26T16:39:09Z")
> [@Reeses\_Monkey](#): > > Didn’t [Stephen King already do this?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sneakers_(short_story)) Yeah, I actually thought of that story. See, I only noticed her feet in the first place because she had a lovely pedicure and I thought “Damn, I really have to redo my nailpolish, it’s chipped and peeling”. Then next time I saw it again and remembered. I haven’t been back to the bathroom yet. I think I will go wash my hands and check on her…I just had lunch so I have a valid excuse to at least wash up. ETA: The stall is empty. Whew! She’s alive. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/12 "2013-09-26T17:04:16Z")
I think jumping to the assumption that a person is dead seems premature. Especially given options like constipation, diarrhea, smart phones or the classic avoiding-my-boss syndrome. 🙂 I don’t know when I’d inquire… realistically, I’d probably leave it for the janitors to check up on. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/13 "2013-09-26T17:21:47Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Option 1: Sit in the stall next to hers and ask her for a square. If she responds “I don’t have a square to spare,” she’s alive and a fan of Seinfeld. > > Option 2: Sing “Shave and a haircut…” and wait to see if she yells out “Two bits!” IF she does, she’s alive and most likely an old-timey cartoon character. > > Option 3: Belt out “The stars at night are big and bright…” If she responds, she’s alive and either from Texas or a fan of “Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.” > > Option 3: Look through the crack of the door, and hold that position until she responds or you can confirm that she’s dead. Option 4: [Sit down and start singing “Under the Boardwalk.”](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/82/82bunder.phtml) (Although this probably works better in a men’s restroom, where more than one stall is occupied.) ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/14 "2013-09-26T17:34:59Z")
taking a wide stance might produce a reply. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/15 "2013-09-26T20:04:42Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Yeah maybe bumping into the door is a good idea. Tricky situation! I wouldn’t want to embarrass her either but that’s a long time. Bumping into the door is a terrible idea! Do this: Open the door to the entire washroom. Say “Excuse me, did the lights go out in here a few minutes ago?” Case closed. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/16 "2013-09-26T20:06:44Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ETA: The stall is empty. Whew! She’s alive. Either that or the toilet snake is good for another year. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/17 "2013-09-26T22:20:17Z")
There’s a woman where I work who always seems to be in the ladies’ room when I’m there. If she’s not there when I walk in, she comes in after I’m seated and always takes the stall right next to me. I know it’s her because she always wears sandals and has snaggly toenails. I got quite paranoid about this at one point until I remembered that she has a myriad of health problems and chronic diarrhea is probably one of them. I don’t know why she chooses to sit next to me, though. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2013, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/18 "2013-09-26T22:41:04Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > …I figured she was just a shy pooper. Wasn’t that what they were singing about in _The Music Man?_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/19 "2013-09-27T00:31:27Z")
> [@teela\_brown](#): > > I don’t know why she chooses to sit next to me, though. Buddy system. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2013, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727/20 "2013-09-27T00:35:19Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Option 4: [Sit down and start singing “Under the Boardwalk.”](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/82/82bunder.phtml) (Although this probably works better in a men’s restroom, where more than one stall is occupied.) Option #5: There she was just a’ walkin’ down the street, singin’. . . [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-do-you-start-worrying-about-someone-in-the-bathroom/669727.md?page=2)