# At what point does virginity end for a woman? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 18, 2015, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047 "2015-02-18T23:29:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sir\_T-Cups](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Sir\_T-Cups](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_T-Cups)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/41 "2015-02-19T20:23:01Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > The whole thing smells of shenanigans and frankly, I want no part of it. > [@lieu](#): > > Not even a little piece? Nah, just the tip ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/42 "2015-02-19T20:27:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Historically, I’d say we in the West value girls’ virginity but not boys because the “purity” of the former was an asset to their fathers; that women’s sexuality was something men wanted to control. Historically, and probably also prehistorically, I’d say people all over the world valued virginity in a bride because it meant they could be sure she wasn’t already carrying another man’s baby. And thanks to the existence of the hymen, there was a way of having physical evidence (albeit fallible) of virgin-ness. Nowadays, the correct answer to “At what point does virginity end?” or “Who qualifies as a virgin?” is “Why do you want to know?” The reason for having such a category in the first place (if there is one, of which I am doubtful) would determine how it should be defined. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/43 "2015-02-19T20:28:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I will send over a comfortbot with a list of 1728 new and extraordinarily filthy cuss words, and also a plate of cookies. I would love a list of extraordinarily filthy cuss words from 1728! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/44 "2015-02-19T20:29:40Z")
We value women’s virginity but not men’s, because men wanted, historically, anyway, to marry virgins so they could be sure that they had fathered their wives’ children. Yes I know all the reasons that might not work out so well, and it also stems from a sorry lack of understanding of biology (namely, that a woman could retain semen from a previous lover for an unknown amount of time). Now that we have all sorts of ways to determine who a child’s father is, and birth control exists, so that even if a woman is unfaithful, she’s gotta also be really stupid not to use birth control while doing so, but in any event, safe abortion also exists, and we know beyond any doubt how long semen can be “retained,” there is very little value to a woman’s virginity, other than to men who are insecure and don’t want to be compared to her previous lovers. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/45 "2015-02-19T20:36:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I knew a girl, freshman year in college, who was unknowingly pregnant first semester, had a baby over Christmas break, and came back the next semester insisting she was still a virgin because her one episode of two-backed-beast-making had not been sanctified by Jesus and thus didn’t count. Hmmm. So. Imagine she’s Really doing her Kegels-For-Christ (and has convenient Child Care). What is she going to do next? Seriously, is she going to get him “in”, grip him by the dick, and do the waddle-walk, with him in tow, all the way to to her church? “JAY-sus…! I BESEECH thee…! Sanctify this Fucker!!!” “Owwww. You know, I’m not really in the mood anymore…” ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/46 "2015-02-19T20:43:37Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I will send over a comfortbot with a list of 1728 new and extraordinarily filthy cuss words, and also a plate of cookies. Yay! ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/47 "2015-02-19T20:46:28Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > What if the only penetration is non-consensual? Still a virgin, as per Aquinas, at least. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/48 "2015-02-19T20:49:00Z")
I’d say “his ejaculation”, conditional on the sex being consensual, of course. And PIV. i.e. handjobs, oral, buttsex, etc. don’t count. It doesn’t really matter much to me, though, so if someone wants to self-identify differently that’s cool. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/49 "2015-02-19T21:04:57Z")
> [@Stringbean](#): > > I truly don’t know when a lesbian who has not slept with a man loses her virginity. Never, if you stick to anything like a classic definition of virginity. I don’t think there’s anything sexist or absurd about an active lesbian being a “virgin.” It’s a kind of absurd, sexist concept to begin with, and a strictly homosexual woman is dispensing with the whole concept. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 19, 2015, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/50 "2015-02-19T21:14:56Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > I would love a list of extraordinarily filthy cuss words from 1728! Do something impressive. Something Dogzilla hasn’t already done. ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [February 20, 2015, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047/51 "2015-02-20T02:09:17Z")
> [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > Never, if you stick to anything like a classic definition of virginity. I don’t think there’s anything sexist or absurd about an active lesbian being a “virgin.” It’s a kind of absurd, sexist concept to begin with, and a strictly homosexual woman is dispensing with the whole concept. I dunno…I think a lifetime lesbian still considers her sexual encounter with another woman to be a memorable moment in her life. You’re attributing a lot of anti-paternalism to a concept that I doubt necessarily irks all lesbians. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/at-what-point-does-virginity-end-for-a-woman/713047.md?page=2)