# Atheist getting married in Catholic church - need help with readings **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 20, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665 "2010-01-20T05:36:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/81 "2010-01-21T17:13:59Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > A link provided previously branched off to [this link on choosing readings](http://catholicweddinghelp.com/wedding-planning/06-choose-readings.htm). This makes it sound like you’re limited on what you can pick; I missed in this long thread if they told you that you had more latitude or not, but this rings a bell with what I was told when I got married (as a non-Catholic Christian marrying a Catholic, in a Catholic church). I was given a booklet that, if memory serves, matched with this. The list is not really binding in a “if you ask for something else the priest will exorcise you and the wedding won’t be valid” kinda way. Yes, 90% of priests will want 90% of their weddings done with those readings but you can stray from it if the priest will allow it. And if the Pope hears about it, he won’t excommunicate the whole lot for it. In short, if you have a reading out of the list that is particularly appropriate to your circumstances, most priest will let you chose that reading. The problem to the OP is that his particular circumstances are not the kind that he wants to discuss with the celebrant so he might have a hard time building a case for that reading. Then again, some priests just don’t care what you chose. We don’t know what’s the case here. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/82 "2010-01-21T17:14:59Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Nitpick: you want I Cor **13**. Chapter 12 is about spiritual gifts, IIRC. Ugh, right. If you can skip to chap. 13, that’s best. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/83 "2010-01-21T19:57:37Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > The list is not really binding in a “if you ask for something else the priest will exorcise you and the wedding won’t be valid” kinda way. Yes, 90% of priests will want 90% of their weddings done with those readings but you can stray from it if the priest will allow it. I had a Catholic mass and didn’t pick my readings off “the list.” I sure didn’t want a scripture that talked about me obeying my husband, nor did I want anything too sacchriney. So I picked out one that addressed how we shouldn’t be motivated by material possessions – which was something I struggled with (and still do) and hoped to resist in my married life. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/84 "2010-01-21T20:29:25Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > I had a Catholic mass and didn’t pick my readings off “the list.” I sure didn’t want a scripture that talked about me obeying my husband, nor did I want anything too sacchriney. So I picked out one that addressed how we shouldn’t be motivated by material possessions – which was something I struggled with (and still do) and hoped to resist in my married life. I told my fiancée that every reading I picked was going to be about obeying the husband. ---
**Author:** ![Surbey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@Surbey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surbey)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/85 "2010-01-23T16:57:50Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > UH-huh… you do knot, that, apart from your directly lying to his face, you’re pretty much utterly disrespecting her whole family with the pretense. I don’t particularly like you dropping your faith, but this is a gross disrespect to the entire Church, which I take grave exception to. You two have absolutely no business getting married in a Church with a solemn religious ceremony you apparently have no intention of honoring. You’re right. His lying will be the [GREATEST](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_sex_abuse_cases) atrocity to the church in our lifetime. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/86 "2010-01-23T17:34:50Z")
> [@Surbey](#): > > You’re right. His lying will be the [GREATEST](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catholic_sex_abuse_cases) atrocity to the church in our lifetime. [Infraction]Failure to follow Moderator instructions to take religious debate elsewhere.[/Infraction] ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/87 "2010-01-24T19:36:32Z")
> [@pbbth](#): > > Ooh, ask if they can do the readings from [this](http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page) bible! You just totally and completely made my day. This is _great_ stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665/88 "2010-01-29T17:15:16Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Brimstone and hellfire? Dude, what Catholic church were you raised in? > > Personally, if you’re serious about this, you should pick up a Bible and read it. Something should grab you as being appropriate. And, honestly, it’s the least you can do given it’s one of the few things in the entire ceremony that you will have control over. [Moderator Action]Infraction lifted for this post. This is _not_ an invitation to reopen questions about either the OP’s attitude about the Catholic Church and/or religion in general here-those points are off topic for this thread, however strong your need to “just get in one last point.”[/Moderator Action] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-getting-married-in-catholic-church-need-help-with-readings/525665.md?page=4)