# Atheist: If you HAD to chose a religion, what would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556 "2011-01-14T03:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/1 "2011-01-14T03:07:00Z")
Title says it all. Me, I’ll go with Muslim. From my limited understanding, it seems to make the most sense. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/2 "2011-01-14T03:08:39Z")
Taoism or Buddhism, since those don’t require belief in any gods. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/3 "2011-01-14T03:09:15Z")
Zen. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/4 "2011-01-14T03:09:23Z")
I want my own planet. So, Morman? ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/5 "2011-01-14T03:10:41Z")
Quaker. I like the meditative aspect and they’re not pushy about the God stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/6 "2011-01-14T03:13:15Z")
What do you mean by choose? Give lip service to it, or devoutly practice? Cuz if it’s devoutly practice, Muslims and Jews are both out on grounds of I LIKE pork, and several branches of Christianity are out because I LIKE bourbon. I’d probably go with generic Norse-Pagan. Hard to piss off a Norse god, other than by showing cowardice in battle, which ain’t really an issue for me… ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/7 "2011-01-14T03:17:04Z")
I’d go for some river god or mountain god belief system (river gods and mountain gods tend not to write books and stuff) And a pilgrimage along a river or up a mountain would be much more beneficial to one’s sense of inner peace. ---
**Author:** ![Twoflower](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/twoflower/32/22_2.png) [@Twoflower](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Twoflower)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/8 "2011-01-14T03:22:07Z")
I want to be a Bokononist. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/9 "2011-01-14T03:25:19Z")
I’d probably go back to being Jewish again. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/10 "2011-01-14T03:27:56Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > I want my own planet. So, Morman? Even a planet and omniscient power isn’t worth it. Is there any religion that requires absolutely nothing from me? ---
**Author:** ![Fugazi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f08c70/32.png) [@Fugazi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fugazi)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/11 "2011-01-14T03:41:39Z")
Give me something pagan. With lots of sex and weird rites. Perhaps around a bonfire. ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/12 "2011-01-14T04:20:05Z")
If I had to pick one, it would probably be the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. In college, my friends and I used to joke that we were “Secular Taoists.” No idea what it meant, though. -D/a ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/13 "2011-01-14T04:28:19Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > Even a planet and omniscient power isn’t worth it. > > Is there any religion that requires absolutely nothing from me? Unitarian Universalism? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/14 "2011-01-14T06:34:14Z")
I still have a soft-spot in my heart for liberal Christianity, so I’d probably return to that, either Church of England or a really laid-back urban Catholic congregation. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/15 "2011-01-14T06:39:52Z")
Whichever one lets me abuse the most religious exemptions. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/16 "2011-01-14T06:48:07Z")
I’m already an ordained minister of the Church of the Latter-Day Dude: [http://dudeism.com/](http://dudeism.com/). But if we’re talking **serious** religions, then I’d want to pick Judaism since my wife’s half Jewish and I feel we don’t understand as much as we should about the culture. . . but g-ds-damn I likey the bacon too much. I’d probably pick something that puts as little emphasis as possible on the whole “worship a superpowered deity” bit - Buddhism, maybe. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/17 "2011-01-14T07:13:08Z")
The only way I would get religion will be if God appears and threatens me. I will ask which one to choose. ---
**Author:** ![Walmarticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Walmarticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walmarticus)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/18 "2011-01-14T07:32:16Z")
Can I pick a cult of my own design? And can I be the leader? I think I would call it the Church of Transhumano Astro-syncopatheism. We’d worship aluminum and sunsets. ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/19 "2011-01-14T07:37:35Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Unitarian Universalism? Perfect! ---
**Author:** ![iamnotbatman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/858c86/32.png) [@iamnotbatman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamnotbatman)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/20 "2011-01-14T08:14:30Z")
Zen. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556.md?page=2)