# Atheist: If you HAD to chose a religion, what would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556 "2011-01-14T03:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/21 "2011-01-14T08:33:19Z")
Jewishism or something? No frickin’ idea. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/22 "2011-01-14T08:33:19Z")
There’s a bunch of people around here insisting atheism is a religion, so I’ll choose that one. ---
**Author:** ![spanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@spanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spanna)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/23 "2011-01-14T08:40:29Z")
I have a soft spot for Sikhism ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/24 "2011-01-14T09:14:17Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Unitarian Universalism? This. And from what I’ve heard, half of them are atheists anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ctnguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@ctnguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ctnguy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/25 "2011-01-14T09:42:41Z")
UU would be my first choice too. If that’s forbidden on the basis that you don’t really have to believe in God to be UU, then I guess Anglican. It’s what I grew up with - although my parents were (and are) atheists, the rest of my family are Anglican, and I went to an Anglican school, so I know the drill. And as religion goes, Anglicanism is pretty inoffensive, and it has nice language and rituals at least. (The local diocese is very High Church.) And hey, it would make my grandmother very happy, I guess. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Dereknocue67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6de8d8/32.png) [@Dereknocue67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dereknocue67)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/26 "2011-01-14T10:07:16Z")
I’d be a Catholic. My extremely limited understanding of Catholicism leads me to believe you could actually murder the Pope and after expressing remorse through confession and undergoing some ritual penance be forgiven, possibly even by his successor and get a pass through the pearly gates. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/27 "2011-01-14T10:26:34Z")
Some benevolent cult where I get to have sex with lots of willing nubile women. ---
**Author:** ![BleizDu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9dc877/32.png) [@BleizDu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BleizDu)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/28 "2011-01-14T10:54:53Z")
hellenic polytheism ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/29 "2011-01-14T12:01:58Z")
Keep practicing the conservative/Reconstructionist Judaism I already do. ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/30 "2011-01-14T13:00:04Z")
Taoism ---
**Author:** ![Acid\_Lamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Acid\_Lamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acid_Lamp)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/31 "2011-01-14T13:00:40Z")
Pastafarianism ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/32 "2011-01-14T13:01:23Z")
I consider myself an atheist and a Discordian. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/33 "2011-01-14T13:43:18Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > There’s a bunch of people around here insisting atheism is a religion, so I’ll choose that one. 😃 I might go for whatever that half-snake puppet thing is that [Alan Moore](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Moore#Religion_and_magic) seems to like. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/34 "2011-01-14T14:00:41Z")
> [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](#): > > 😃 > > I might go for whatever that half-snake puppet thing is that [Alan Moore](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alan_Moore#Religion_and_magic) seems to like. Is he anything like[Jake the Truth Snake](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6iksNg9IdQ)? If I had to pick a religion, I might go back to being Roman Catholic. Yes, I’d have arguments about some Church policies–but they haven’t burned anybody in years! Although I doubt that Buddhism is all that Theist. And I’ve had a liking for the Discordians since finding their screeds among the piles of “serious” pamphlets at Houston’s defunct New-Agey Phoenix Books. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/35 "2011-01-14T14:10:39Z")
I’d just go back to Hinduism. I never really left it. Why change? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/36 "2011-01-14T14:24:38Z")
> [@manila](#): > > I’d go for some river god or mountain god belief system (river gods and mountain gods tend not to write books and stuff) > > And a pilgrimage along a river or up a mountain would be much more beneficial to one’s sense of inner peace. I like this one Just saying 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de0a6/32.png) [@Electric\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/37 "2011-01-14T14:28:47Z")
I’d probably go back to (Norse) paganism. I still sort of consider myself a “pagan atheist”, actually. Animism sounds appealing, too. I already argue with inanimate objects enough. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/38 "2011-01-14T14:31:52Z")
The scary kind of devil worshipper that they used to talk about in the 80’s on Geraldo. ---
**Author:** ![SecondJudith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@SecondJudith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SecondJudith)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/39 "2011-01-14T14:47:57Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > Keep practicing the conservative/Reconstructionist Judaism I already do. Yes, the nice thing about Judaism is that you don’t have to choose. 😃 Ditto this (substitute Reform Judaism, although I really wish the Reconstructionist movement had a bigger presence in the UK). ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/40 "2011-01-14T14:54:51Z")
I guess I’ll be the one to take this in a different direction. I’m still trying come up with something, anything, that would cause me to feel I had to choose a religion, and also wrap my mind around the illogic of choosing what to believe in. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556.md?page=3)