# Atheist: If you HAD to chose a religion, what would it be? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 14, 2011, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556 "2011-01-14T03:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/61 "2011-01-14T19:13:54Z")
I make up my own religion and put myself in charge. “And the first Commandment spoken unto the people was, go forth and play Dragon Age.” “And lo, he played Dragon Age and it was good.” ---
**Author:** ![badlyburnttoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@badlyburnttoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/badlyburnttoast)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/62 "2011-01-14T19:17:36Z")
What, choose a religion and have it actually be real instead of make believe, or just choose a make believe religion and follow all the rules for no reason? …actually I guess it does not matter, I’d choose pastafarianism either way. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/63 "2011-01-14T19:42:32Z")
Onanism ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/64 "2011-01-14T20:43:40Z")
\ Druid. Reformed. \ I’d probably go back to Judaism again, since I was never offended by anything in any service I ever went to. Conservative if I want to brush up on my Hebrew, Reform if I wanted to stay an atheist. Probably depends a lot on the quality of the Cantor. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/65 "2011-01-14T20:44:43Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Onanism Humph. The question concerned a religion we don’t practice now. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/66 "2011-01-14T21:03:50Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Druid. Reformed. > > I’d probably go back to Judaism again, since I was never offended by anything in any service I ever went to. Conservative if I want to brush up on my Hebrew, Reform if I wanted to stay an atheist. Probably depends a lot on the quality of the Cantor. Reconstructionist is a good choice- it focuses more on the ethical aspects of Judiasm. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/67 "2011-01-14T22:07:17Z")
Druidism (of my own flavor and variety). Or maybe Buddhism. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/68 "2011-01-14T22:31:32Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I make up my own religion and put myself in charge. Godamn I want to make a joke using “ass worship.” but just because somebody made an opening, not to start a fight. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/69 "2011-01-14T22:34:09Z")
Buddhism. Edit: No, wait, [annoianism](http://wiki.lspace.org/wiki/Anoia), or one of the other discworld religions… or maybe Buddhism. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/70 "2011-01-14T22:37:56Z")
Germanic paganism. Minus all the “Aryan” racist bullshit. If Woden is for us, who can stand against us? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/71 "2011-01-14T22:56:39Z")
Last Thursdayism. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/72 "2011-01-14T23:02:18Z")
Sarcism. (The religion of sarcasm) ---
**Author:** ![akira5822](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/53a042/32.png) [@akira5822](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/akira5822)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/73 "2011-01-14T23:04:16Z")
Judism… ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/74 "2011-01-14T23:29:12Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > Godamn I want to make a joke using “ass worship.” but just because somebody made an opening, not to start a fight. huh huh huh … “opening” ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/75 "2011-01-15T01:14:29Z")
I would practice an updated version of ancient Egyptian cat worship. It would be easy since I already have two furry deities that demand to be worshiped on a daily basis. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/76 "2011-01-15T01:59:01Z")
If I had to choose between the third monotheistic religions, Christianism would be the first to go, because IMO it doesn’t make any sense. Given the content of the old testament and the nitpicking “legalism” of Judaism, it would be out too in quick order. I would pick Islam without a second thought. Now, if I had a larger choice (still only considering major classical religions, not animism, small cults, new-age stuff, etc…) : Buddhism has a certain appeal, and I like some of its views, but franckly I never was able to really understand it. And also I hold desire to be the motor of life, and this doesn’t fit well into this religion. Dualism has something for it : it explains quite readily the issue of evil. But it seems to me that modern Zorostrians aren’t really dualist anymore (and they don’t accept converts) and Manicheism is long dead (and I’m not sure it was really dualist either, anyway). I find attempts at syncretism interesting and intellectually relatively sensible, so I might look in this direction, but I’ve no clue regarding what syncretist religions there are out there. So…hmmm…if someone could point to an existing dualist/syncretist religion, I would probably pick something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Stoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stoid/32/272_2.png) [@Stoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/77 "2011-01-15T02:29:15Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Taoism or Buddhism, since those don’t require belief in any gods. Yep ---
**Author:** ![Gestalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/90ced4/32.png) [@Gestalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gestalt)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/78 "2011-01-15T02:45:45Z")
Two people so far picked Islam, and I was wondering why? NOT that I want to start a debate or anything; I’m just curious. One because I know so little about the actual core of the faith since all you hear about it wahabism and such, and two because from what I do know, it seems to be a case of latter-day Judaism (There is no God but God, tons of rituals and rules, lots of avoidance of graven images). ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/79 "2011-01-15T04:13:54Z")
If I’m gonna go looney, maybe it’s best to go all out. So – Scientology. ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556/80 "2011-01-15T04:30:54Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > OK, here is a scenario that may help. God comes to you, takes you for a tour of the heavens, you know that he is the real deal. He tells you that he is doing away with Atheism. He lets you know that you will not remember this event at all, but he is willing to give you your choice of what religion you would like. People have started their own religions for lesser reasons than this. I would believe that God gave me the heavenly tour because he wanted me to become a prophet, so I would choose Goofism. Absent the miracle described above, I’d choose Hinduism, because from what I know of it, it’s pretty cafeteria-style. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-if-you-had-to-chose-a-religion-what-would-it-be/567556.md?page=5)