# "Atheist on an airplane" joke **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610 "2011-09-26T01:16:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/21 "2011-09-26T13:19:46Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Whatever happened to asking little girls if they like gladiator movies? Whatever happened to asking the cabin crew if they’ve ever seen a man naked? ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/22 "2011-09-26T14:14:53Z")
This is standard fair from certain groups. I get emails from my in-laws with this sort of “inspirational story.” I’m sure they don’t even read it with a critical eye, they just forward whatever their Christian (meaning: good and trustworthy) friends send them. Someone out there is writing this crap, maybe the same person who writes all the inspirational stuff for Reader’s Digest, and it just gets passed around. It works because a silly atheist, trying to crap all over everyone’s rainbow, is bested by a little girl. It isn’t even really worth hearing what the atheist has to say then, is it? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/23 "2011-09-26T14:23:59Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > She was just being a party-pooper. What size and shape is her poop? ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/24 "2011-09-26T14:28:30Z")
Show of hands: How many of you have sat next to someone on a plane who wanted to promote atheism? How about someone trying to push their religion? Might as well make a joke about a free spending Scotsman. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/25 "2011-09-26T14:46:26Z")
What a stupid little vignette. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/26 "2011-09-26T14:51:01Z")
> [@sh1bu1](#): > > Show of hands: > How many of you have sat next to someone on a plane who wanted to promote atheism? > How about someone trying to push their religion? > > Might as well make a joke about a free spending Scotsman. What I hate is when those atheists come to your door on Saturday morning all dressed up nicely. Sometimes they have their kids in tow - you know, just to make you feel guilty or something. Then they try to push their atheism on you and make you take those atheist tracts that are published by atheism international or something. And you can’t make them go away until you promise not to believe in any God or Gods. And there is a huge list of Gods you’re not allowed to believe in! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/27 "2011-09-26T15:13:52Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > What I hate is when those atheists come to your door on Saturday morning all dressed up nicely. Sometimes they have their kids in tow - you know, just to make you feel guilty or something. > > Then they try to push their atheism on you and make you take those atheist tracts that are published by atheism international or something. And you can’t make them go away until you promise not to believe in any God or Gods. And there is a huge list of Gods you’re not allowed to believe in! Even Eric Clapton? ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/28 "2011-09-26T15:42:47Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Even Eric Clapton? I believe he’s #44 on the list, right between Susanoo-no-Mikoto and Alusi. Did you know that atheists have to wake up at 5:00 each morning just to have enough time to list the Gods that they do not believe in before breakfast? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/29 "2011-09-26T16:04:13Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Did you know that atheists have to wake up at 5:00 each morning just to have enough time to list the Gods that they do not believe in before breakfast? Can’t they just do that on Sundays? ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/30 "2011-09-26T16:16:13Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Can’t they just do that on Sundays? No time. Do you know how many churches we have to not go to? ---
**Author:** ![George\_Kaplin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3e96dc/32.png) [@George\_Kaplin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/George_Kaplin)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/31 "2011-09-26T16:24:04Z")
The “joke” sounds like something you’d get off Conservapedia. Comedy fail. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/32 "2011-09-26T16:32:40Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > I’ve seen that same lame joke recycled for many different situations that have nothing to do with atheism, or even religion. Glad to hear you say that. It certainly sounded like a joke that had been twisted to be a gotcha on atheists. > [@Novelty\_Bobble](#): > > . . . well not exactly burn, well not in any way burn, they’ll be tortured as…OK, not in any real or even metaphorical sense or but…errr…so yeah, screw them! > > THEIR WEAK ATTEMPT AT PROVOCATIVE HUMOUR WILL NOT STAND! MY MILD IRRITATION AND MORE OVERWHELMING INDIFFERENCE MUST BE AVENGED! > > I’m not saying where or when but as soon as we’ve worked out exactly what they’ve blasphemed against, and exactly what supernatural powers we are going to call upon, they will be smitted. Unless it’s a Wednesday, I’ve got football training on a Wednesday. LOVE this! > [@shiftless](#): > > . . . Someone out there is writing this crap, maybe the same person who writes all the inspirational stuff for Reader’s Digest, and it just gets passed around. . . They don’t even do it right, do they? I mean it’s obvious that the precocious, well read, and skeptical little girl is an atheist as well and she’s just tired of newbies running on about it. She also obviously knows the answer to the shit question. Although I’ll bet that the person who renovated the joke (and possibly the person who created it, as well) does not. ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/33 "2011-09-26T16:55:53Z")
Given the title, I can’t believe I’m the first one to post this: “An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” " Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly. To which the little girl replies: "_I am tired of these motherfucking atheists on this motherfucking airplane!!!"_ ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/34 "2011-09-26T18:11:12Z")
I heard it like this: A priest was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.” The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?” " Oh, I don’t know," said the priest. “How about why there is a God, or Heaven and Hell, or life after death?” as he smiled smugly. “OK,” she said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?” The priest, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is a God, or Heaven or Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know crap?” And then she went back to reading her book. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/35 "2011-09-26T18:24:50Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I heard it like this: > > A priest was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and Say no more, say no more. A wink’s as good as a nod to a blind man. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/36 "2011-09-26T18:28:18Z")
and then some men who were REALLY religious took over the plane and flew it into the Pentagon. ---
**Author:** ![Condescending\_Robot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a183cd/32.png) [@Condescending\_Robot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Condescending_Robot)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/37 "2011-09-26T18:29:40Z")
Get that priest away from the little girl, quick! ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/38 "2011-09-26T18:52:32Z")
> [@Condescending\_Robot](#): > > Get that priest away from the little girl, quick! No, it’s all right, she’s a girl. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/39 "2011-09-26T18:54:40Z")
I think the joke works equally well for either a know-it-all atheist or a know-it-all believer. The punchline is that neither actually knows it all. ---
**Author:** ![Silvorange](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Silvorange](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silvorange)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2011, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610/40 "2011-09-26T19:24:27Z")
Ugh. I went back to Facebook to see how the conversation was going. Of her Christian friends who have posted, a couple have said that the joke had a valid point and told me that “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.” One said that God loves everybody, even atheists, and seemed like a nice lady. An anti-theist posted insulting things about Christianity and seemed to think that I would be on his side. The friend who posted the thing in the first place “liked” all the Christian replies, whether they were ridiculous or not, and did not address any of mine. Friend is unfriended. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-on-an-airplane-joke/597610.md?page=3)