# Atheist Security Pass **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 15, 2008, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553 "2008-07-15T08:18:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/61 "2008-07-16T10:43:27Z")
[QUOTE=Sage Rat] :dubious: 50 posts of people alternating between masturbating themselves and pissing on others … [/QUOTE] Did I miss something? When did all the masturbation and pissing occur? ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/62 "2008-07-16T10:44:45Z")
[QUOTE=Mangetout] Fair enough. I think this board needs a new motto - something about misunderstanding each other. [/QUOTE] “Straight Dope Message Board - Trying to understand each other since 1999, it’s taking longer than we thought.” ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/63 "2008-07-16T11:33:59Z")
[QUOTE=Stryfe] Did I miss something? When did all the masturbation and pissing occur? [/QUOTE] hehe. I was concerned that about some sorta spyware. . . ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/64 "2008-07-16T11:36:36Z")
[TMI]I personally always find that masturbating myself kinda precludes pissing on anyone else for the duration and a little over. I thought that was a well-known physiological thing.[/TMI] ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/65 "2008-07-16T11:39:09Z")
Well, to be fair to **Sage Rat** , he/she _did_ say “…alternating between masturbating themselves and pissing on others…” ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/66 "2008-07-16T11:43:58Z")
Oh, OK. It’s a refractory period thing, then? I can see that working. If, y’know, I were into water sports and that. Not that I’m saying there’s anything wrong with that… Erm… I’ll stop digging now. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/67 "2008-07-16T13:25:58Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] I am an athiest, but more to the point, I am a lousy carpenter. [/QUOTE] So was Jesus. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/68 "2008-07-16T19:11:13Z")
[QUOTE=Bayard] I am an athiest, but more to the point, I am a lousy carpenter. [/QUOTE] That’s funny. There is a pretty good selling book that seems to focus on a lousy carpenter. Well, maybe he wasn’t lousy, but he sure seems to have spent a lot of his time just yapping and making up parables. I’ve never read the whole thing, but the zealots seem to like it. Though I’m not sure if they’ve actually ever read it either. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2008, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/69 "2008-07-16T19:59:57Z")
Deny the Holy Spirit? How about if I just claim to have drunk the Holy Spirit? Hand stabbing? How about if I trim the nails of believers? I don’t recall any lice in the NT. If the water-to-wine guy had been lousy, wouldn’t he have driven the lice over a cliff, or something? Wasn’t Stig Mata one of the Sex Pistols? Sorry, I’ve been gone for a coupla days. I’m trying to catch up in a hurry. ---
**Author:** ![nd\_n8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/439d5e/32.png) [@nd\_n8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nd_n8)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2008, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553/70 "2008-07-17T00:12:29Z")
[QUOTE=AskNott] Deny the Holy Spirit? How about if I just claim to have drunk the Holy Spirit? [/quote] It will probably suffice to say you got drunk “with” the Holy Spirit, down at the Crafty Cockney last Saturday afternoon, and he went on and on just babbling away. > [@](#): > > Hand stabbing? How about if I trim the nails of believers? Sure, trimming the nails of believers would suffice, but whether you throw the clippings in the trash or keep them for future use might determine whether you are a Wiccan or not. > [@](#): > > I don’t recall any lice in the NT. If the water-to-wine guy had been lousy, wouldn’t he have driven the lice over a cliff, or something? I don’t know about lice but there were a lot of long haired hippy types with beards, wearing bathrobes and sandles, getting pissy about not enough wine at the wedding so making their own. If there’s anything worse than the stabbers, the thumpers and the boom boom guys it’s them long haired hippy types. Get off my lawn! > [@](#): > > Wasn’t Stig Mata one of the Sex Pistols? Yes, as a side note he was also the [del]fifth[/del] sixth Beatle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheist-security-pass/456553.md?page=3)