# Atheists/agnostics: how do you respond to requests to "pray for me"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 13, 2005, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492 "2005-12-13T22:10:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/21 "2005-12-14T00:20:10Z")
I go with “…in my thoughts…” and sometimes when pressed or if in an awkward situation, I just go along with it. I just don’t need the arguments. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/22 "2005-12-14T02:20:58Z")
If “Keep me in your prayers” or some such is due to a seriously horrible situation, I’ll give an affirmative just to be compassionate. If the request seems frivolous (as in, “Going in to talk to the boss about a raise…”) I’ll sometimes out with a, “Your god will do as he sees fit with you. He doesn’t take orders from me.” ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/23 "2005-12-14T02:36:45Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > “Your god will do as he sees fit with you. He doesn’t take orders from me.” Oooh, I like that! Does this mean I’m going to hell? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/24 "2005-12-14T03:31:07Z")
I’ve only seen people ask “pray for me” on the Internet. I usually don’t say anything in those threads; when I do, I say thinks like “I’m sorry.” Saying I’ll pray or giving the impression that’s what I’m going to would be dishonest. ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/25 "2005-12-14T04:25:43Z")
How do I respond to requests to “pray for me”? With a good deal more grace than upon being informed that someone is “praying for me”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/26 "2005-12-14T05:15:19Z")
Well, first you have to get past the semantics. I believe prayer is much less mystical and entirely non-exclusive in its true essence. Instead of relating to it as some religous protocol, I believe it is virtually impossible not to pray. I believe thoughts in themselves are prayers with or without invocation or intention. It’s all the same _Geiststoff_ and is equally weighed in the cosmological scheme regardless of belief. Why get hung up in the divisiveness of terminology? Your projected well wishes, hope, and Love (thunk or unthunk, concentrated or natural) are all that’s really needed. ---
**Author:** ![Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/919ad9/32.png) [@Siddhartha\_Vicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siddhartha_Vicious)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/27 "2005-12-14T05:42:33Z")
I’ve seen some posters say that, if pressed, they will admit that they are atheist. How often does this happen, that others try to press you into prayer? I’m genuinely interested. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/28 "2005-12-14T06:04:16Z")
> [@mittu](#): > > In cases where the person requesting that you pray becomes insistant that you do it I see no harm in obliging them. Let’s face it, as Athiests none of us know 100% for sure that there isn’t a God and if someone is adamant that you pray then what the hell, you might as well do it, it only takes 30 seconds out of your day and keeps the other person happy. There is no point in making a big deal out of your Athiesm to the point of offending the requester by refusing to do such a simple task because you don’t believe it will work. I think of it like crossing my fingers, I know it won’t make a blind bit of different to my or any other person’s luck but there’s no harm in doing it all the same, nothing lost. Except that I have no idea HOW to pray. How the heck does one pray, anyway? No, I’m not being faceitous. I really don’t know. Anyway, I’d also do the “thinking of you/good wishes” thing. On the rare occasions that someone has asked me directly to pray for something, I just respond “I don’t pray.” That seems to work fine. And for the record, I’m not an atheist. I’m a pagan deist Jew. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/29 "2005-12-14T07:08:05Z")
> [@Siddhartha Vicious](#): > > I’ve seen some posters say that, if pressed, they will admit that they are atheist. How often does this happen, that others try to press you into prayer? I’m genuinely interested. Well, in the specific case of the "pray for me"thing, not that often but more broadly speaking occasions do arise where I get invited into group prayers or asked to bow my head for grace while having dinner at someone’s house. Things like that. My usual policy is just to keep quiet and hope nobody notices but it’s happened maybe a half a dozen times that people have pressed me until I had to tell them I don’t pray. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/30 "2005-12-14T07:16:08Z")
Weddings and funerals are other occasions where requests for prayer tend to come up. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Powell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e8c25b/32.png) [@Billy\_Powell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Powell)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/31 "2005-12-14T07:59:21Z")
Weird. I’ve never believed in any god, but I’ve always said “Of course, I’ll pray to Jesus for you,” even when Jesus wasn’t mentioned, or “God Bless You Too” – I mean, who cares? I’m no missionary. Unless, of course, atheism were a belief statements about which would belong to the same language game as theism – in which case, one would obligated to correct the misspoken “Jesus” with a “~Jesus.” ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/32 "2005-12-14T08:23:10Z")
Eh, I’m with **mittu**. It’s no sweat off my back. I just go ahead and pray for them. Of course they probably don’t realize I’m praying to the Great Pink Unicorn in the sky. But hey… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_chao_goes_mu/32/3191_2.png) [@The\_Chao\_Goes\_Mu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Chao_Goes_Mu)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/33 "2005-12-14T14:58:55Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Eh, I’m with **mittu**. It’s no sweat off my back. I just go ahead and pray for them. > Of course they probably don’t realize I’m praying to the Great Pink Unicorn in the sky. But hey… What are you trying to pull you heathen? Everyone knows the Great Unicorn is chartreuse. I’m an agnostic/atheist (I vascillate between the two) I generally will smile and tell the person that I will send good thoughts their way. This is enough to satisfy them. If someone says they will pray for me, well it depends on the context. If it’s a statement made in kindness I just thank them. If it’s a “I’ll pray for your soul you satanic dyke heathen” well, then it gets ugly and they get a very colorful invitation to join me in the firey depths of their god’s hell . ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/34 "2005-12-14T16:32:16Z")
I agree with **Misnomer**. Come to think of it, I agree with \*\*Misnomer \*\* about a lot of stuff. **Misnomer** , are you me? :dubious: > [@Bagkitty\_the\_return](#): > > How do I respond to requests to “pray for me”? > > With a good deal more grace than upon being informed that someone is “praying for me”. 😃 Agreed! I hate being prayed for…I know someone is going to scold me for this, but it just irks me. > [@](#): > > I’ve never believed in any god, but I’ve always said “Of course, I’ll pray to Jesus for you,” even when Jesus wasn’t mentioned, or “God Bless You Too” – I mean, who cares? None of my family is Christian! So saying “I’ll pray to Jesus” would be just a bit weird. 🙂 I can see their reaction…“Huh?” ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/35 "2005-12-14T16:46:28Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > **Misnomer** , are you me? :dubious: Well, I don’t _think_ that I’m you, but I’ve been wrong before… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![spiritturtle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@spiritturtle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spiritturtle)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/36 "2005-12-14T17:53:07Z")
I just tell them “I’ll light a candle for you.” (I grew up in an Irish Catholic neighborhood. It seemed like everyone was lighting a candle for something or someone.) Lighting a candle keeps them in your thoughts, and makes the house smell better. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/37 "2005-12-14T18:25:02Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Of course they probably don’t realize I’m praying to the Great Pink Unicorn in the sky. But hey… > [@The Chou Goes Mu](#): > > hat are you trying to pull you heathen? > > Everyone knows the Great Unicorn is chartreuse. Holy war! Holy war! :: **vibrotronica** kills them all and lets the Unicorn sort it out.:: (I usually just say “I’m thinking about you.”) ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/38 "2005-12-15T01:05:00Z")
\*My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go. \* (Claudius, from **Hamlet** , Act III, Sc. iii) ---
**Author:** ![LiveOnAPlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@LiveOnAPlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LiveOnAPlane)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/39 "2005-12-15T01:53:50Z")
Just personally, 1. I would not ask someone’s prayers for me unless I knew they were a religious person, of whatever sect. 2. If I did not know, I would just ask that they keep me in their thoughts, it would be up to them how they did so. 3. If I knew they were atheists, I would ask only the same as #2. I would not do ANY of this unless we had a fairly good personal relationship. I consider it kind of presumptuous to just ask someone to pray for me without knowing their beliefs. Please do note, that I do not say “Christian” anywhere above, just “religious,” referring to a belief in God or another deity. (I’ll take anything I can get and I don’t judge) ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2005, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492/40 "2005-12-15T02:12:31Z")
> [@Bearflag70](#): > > “I’ll keep you in my thoughts.” Agreed. Or (on this board) “Sending supporting thoughts your way.” And \*as \*an agnostic, I have requested prayers, good thoughts, spells or whatever you believe in for me and my family several times. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-agnostics-how-do-you-respond-to-requests-to-pray-for-me/335492.md?page=3)