Why don’t the religious put themselves in our shoes before trying to “help?”
In situations like this, I’ve usually said, “I’m glad your beliefs make you happy and I understand that you want to share that with me, but my beliefs make me happy as well and I’m not looking to give them up. I’m well acquainted with Christianity and it’s really not for me.”
My answer would have been something along the lines of, “Thanks for the advice” and then changing the subject.
By offering up the fact that you’re an athiest, you were actually the one who started the argument, and your friend escalated with her “glurge.”
So neither of you is completely blameless, but you could have easily avoided the unpleasantness from the get-go.
I do not believe in God, but I rarely engage those who do on the subject. It’s just not worth it.
And in my experience, I’ve known more atheists than Christians who seem to revel in fighting about it. (Mind you, I’m not saying you’re one of them. Alice; not enough info in your OP to tell.)
You just need to ignore it whenever possible. I have a cousin that has posted on facebook that she was going on a 21 day fast starting yesterday where she puts nothing in her system but water because she felt like it would bring her closer to God. I wanted to tell her that not eating for three weeks is dangerous and that lots and lots of christian beliefs are based in part on feeding people (the last supper, the loaves and fishes, etc.) so she should be able to be perfectly close to God without passing out from a lack of food but I don’t. I am not an atheist but I’m not a christian either and I don’t choose to discuss my religious beliefs with my family. After my grandmother cried over one of my cousins not being baptised one Thanksgiving I make it a point not to upset them over something they have no control over.
I value friendships first and religious/political affiliations second.
I recommend hearing them out once out of courtesy, calmly respond that you’ve made up your own mind based on lots of careful consideration, not via some casual decision made out of ignorance of this religion called Christianity.
I would reaffirm that you’re cool with them as they and insist that they return the courtesy, and that any further attempts to recruit for Jesus will only have a harassing effect.
I beg to differ.
Self-identifying as an atheist is not the start of an argument, it is merely a statement of fact. An argument is when they try to convince the other which is Right, presupposing that people who disagree on religion cannot coexist.
Atheists are not required to live a closeted life in order to be civil.
For what it’s worth, I am very open about being an atheist, and I cannot remember much backlash from friends, family, or neighbors, other than my grandmother being shocked and asking in desperation, “But . . . what about trees?” (Up on the most sophisticated apologetics, isn’t she?) And I live in the south, in an educated but conservative area, and my family is Catholic.
That said, “very open,” to me means mentioning it in situations where I would be comfortable and supportive of Christians or other believers mentioning their beliefs, and not mentioning it in situations where interjecting one’s beliefs about religion would be obnoxious. I.e., “I’m an atheist” is fine when asked what church you go to, but jerkish when someone is merely discussing some aspect of their belief, with no glimmer of invitation to you to talk about yours.
Facebook glurge on people’s own pages I always ignore. Or I will comment supportively on the underlying situation without addressing belief.
Forwarded glurge or comments on my facebook page might get a more in-depth response. Forwards sent to large numbers of people without regard to glaring factual errors might get a reply-to-all link to Snopes, depending on how annoyed I’m feeling about it.
Glurge back!
[spoiler]
Subject: Please read & send 10 people, I don’t send these that often
I know you all are very caring people:
I am a very sick boy little boy. My mother is typing this for me,
because I can’t. She is crying. Don’t cry, Mommy! Mommy is always sad,
but she says it’s not my fault. I asked her if it was God’s fault, but
she didn’t answer, and only started crying harder, so I don’t ask her
that anymore.
The reason she is so sad is that I’m so sick. I was born without a body.
It doesn’t hurt, except when I go to sleep. The doctors gave me an
artificial body. My body is a burlap bag filled with leaves. The
doctors said that was the best they could do on account of us havin’
no money or insurance. I would like to have a body transplant, but we
need more money.
Mommy doesn’t work because she said employers don’t hire crying
people. I said, “Don’t cry, Mommy,” and she hugged my burlap body.
Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she’s allergic to burlap, and
it chafes her real bad. I hope you will help me. You can help me if
you forward this e-mail.
Dr. Van Nostrem from the clinic said if you forward this e-mail then
Bill Gates will team up with AOL and do a survey with NASA. Then the
astronauts will collect prayers from school children all over America
and take them up to space so that the angels can hear them better.
Then they will go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection in
church and send the money to the doctors. The doctors could help me
better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Or maybe
just use my lungs and heart, when the doctors make them. The doctors
said that every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take
another prayer to the angels.
Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don’t want my
leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don’t forward this e-mail,
that’s OK. Mommy says you’re a mean heartless shithead who doesn’t
care about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you
don’t stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes
you die a long slow horrible death so you can burn forever in
hell. What kind of goddamned person are you that you can’t take five
fucking minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can
feel guilt and shame for the rest of their day, and then maybe help a
poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?
Please help me! This really sucks. I try to be happy but it’s hard.
I wish I had a puppy. I wish I could hold a puppy.
Thank You.
Billy ‘Smiles’ Evans[/spoiler]
Ridicule and sarcasm.
I’m totally open about being an atheist. I not only have it on my Facebook information page, I have it on the front page of my profile (along with my networks, hometown, and political affiliation). It’s not an issue. No doubt that is in part because of the sort of company I keep, but probably also because I am very respectful of other peoples’ beliefs, and because I tend not to take a lot of shit. If someone was rude to me about being an atheist, I’d probably tell them to fuck off and mind their own business.
I have a few religious friends who post glurgey stuff on Facebook about how Jesus is Lord or whatever. I just ignore it. They also post stuff about their lives that I am interested in, which is why I don’t block or defriend them. If they started posting stuff like that to my wall or ONLY posted about Jesus, I would block or defriend them, because that wouldn’t be very interesting to me. I don’t understand why people are always in a snit about the etiquette of blocking or defriending, or whether or not to accept a friend invite from someone they don’t want to hear from.
Fortunately, my whole family are atheists, so I don’t get religious email glurge. I don’t know exactly what I would do in that position. Probably just delete it and forget about it.
Depends on the situation.
If I’m at work and my financial well-being is dependent on not getting on the bad side of people, I’ll usually deflect. I never lie though, so if someone asks, I’ll tell them I’m an atheist. It is usually up to them to pursue the point. Luckily, that hasn’t really happened much
In situations with friends, this doesn’t usually come up. Most of my friends are either atheist, agnostic, or so weak religiously that they don’t really give it much thought. In situations where friends bring in religious friends, I’ll only mention what I am if it is brought up, and my friends are pretty good in warning others about me so that the subject won’t come up.
In other situations, like with strangers, I usually go by the Golden Rule: If you preach to me, I’m going to preach back. I’ve gotten into arguments before, but those are fun for me. I just figured: Hey, you started it, so don’t be a bitch and try to back away now that you can’t handle it. Just accept you believe a lie and move on
This doesn’t come up in my family because nobody’s really that religious. However, I did get into an argument with an aunt who was staying with us over gay marriage. That was fun. She’s never spoken to me since and I’m happy about that, I found her annoying anyways and this was a good way to tell her off and not get her to talk to me
I just hit delete. The vast majority of glurge is just my mother or some other relative forwarding something to their entire address book. Since I don’t want to start a family argument, it’s easier and more diplomatic to delete it and not give it a second thought.
You are not a horrid little bitch for saying this. It was my exact thought. If someone has been married several times, including an affair with her best friends husband ( if I read that right) and how GOD has helped her through it all, I would instantly think that this chick has some serious Daddy Issues or is just fekked up.
What a *good * Christian.
Decide how much you enjoy this person’s company without the religious woo that may or may not be a HUGE convo issue for her and go from there.
In my country, such examples of in person proseylatizing is pretty rare. Honestly if I think i’d be more surprised than annoyed.
I got a couple of somewhat standard glurge-y leaflets from my signing teacher this christmas. My response was to say thanks and give them a read later; it’s not like it took much out of my time, and i’m sure that his motivation was a good one.
If it was a friend, i’m honestly not sure what I would do. I have religious friends and relatives, and i’m happy to talk about it if they want to. I think i’d be more annoyed, not by the religious part, but by the accosting nature; if it’s a matter of “hey, let’s talk about this” fine, but if it was a constant thing every time I saw them I think i’d probably get pretty pissed off. But i’d be pissed off if they did it with atheism, or pretty much any subject really. If people have to talk to you always about their car or football or whatever, it’s annoying.
If it’s a single case, I ignore it.
If it’s consistent, I will send an e-mail saying, “Please do not send this sort of message to me again.”
If they object or persist, I say, “I asked you to please not send this sort of message. Please have the courtesy of respecting my wishes.” (I’ve only had to do this once, BTW).
If they continue, I say, “Since you are unwilling to respect my wishes on this matter, all further e-mail from you will be automatically sent to my spam filter.” Wait a day or so to see if they apologize, then do it.
Oh, darling, you’ll never be a bitch. That was pretty much my thought too: “I would have thought that four shitty marriages would be enough to convince you that god does not have a plan for you… and you have poor taste in men.”
You don’t?
You have people at work sending you religious glurge? Unless I worked at a Bible press or something, I would be appalled by that.
My boss has been getting a little pushy with his catholicism and it sucks. I am not a full atheist, I am truly agnostic - don’t know, and I don’t think its possible for any of us to know. Maybe there is a sky fairy, maybe not. But man, even mention a horror flick and he starts in about the “culture of death”. Yeesh. :rolleyes: “I only partake of uplifting entertainment.” :rolleyes: I just literally roll my eyes and at him and change the subject. I am really looking forward to quitting.
I try to ignore it, but once I posted a video on my facebook profile (not the wall)about same-sex marriage (pro). My cousin, who I haven’t actually seen in many years, made rude comments alluding to this not being “right with Jesus”. I told her I did not believe in her Jesus and remembered when she was so drunk she forgot she was actually sleeping with my husband instead of her own. Of course she’s been forgiven by Jesus for that but all the gays r gonna burn?
I have on my profile that I’m atheist. If someone can’t accept that about me they will have to move on. I accept that they are religious, but I don’t have to put up with insults. Cheezy miracle stories are one thing but telling me or my loved ones they’re going to hell because we don’t live by the Bible and I’m not going to take it lightly.