# Atheists in Church **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 21, 2010, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853 "2010-01-21T16:07:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/61 "2010-01-21T20:48:33Z")
When our kids were young we began attending a UU church. And each of our kids went through their “dedication” ceremony/process or whatever, which involves “sponsors” somewhat akin to godparents. For my 3d kid, we chose my wife’s friend who is RC. And because it meant something to him - and thinking it would mean something to my parents, we (and our very understanding minister) allowed him to perform an RC baptism of my daughter up there in front of the UU church as part of the dedication ceremony. After which my mom said something everso appreciative along the lines of “It didn’t matter. It wasn’t in a real church.” Hell, I suspect she thinks I wasn’t _really_ married, as it took place in a Lutheran church. And I imagine our efforts to appease her were unnecessary anyway, as I am certain my mom had already baptized each of my kids in her kitchen sink… :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kevlaw](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kevlaw/32/2281_2.png) [@kevlaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kevlaw)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/62 "2010-01-21T20:54:12Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > After which my mom said something everso appreciative along the lines of “It didn’t matter. It wasn’t in a real church.” Hell, I suspect she thinks I wasn’t _really_ married, as it took place in a Lutheran church. My mother-in-law still thinks that we are not really married (we were married by an Anglican minister) and often nags us to have it done properly. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/63 "2010-01-21T21:35:38Z")
Go to church!? I’ve evolved to the point that I can’t even stand being in the room when a group prayer is said, because I can’t bring myself to silently sit through it, which in that context is equivalent to joining in, which is an active assertion of belief in God, which would be a lie, which is repugnant both because it’s an insult to myself to imply that I’m stupid enough to believe that horseshit, and it’s also an insult to the people who _believe_ because it’s engaging in their ritual from a position lacking respect for it (to the point of scorning it). Oh, and, um, it’s lying too, which is sometimes somewhat bad occasionlly. So, go to _church_ with them? Participate in a religious _wedding_? _ **HELLS** _ no! ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/64 "2010-01-21T22:09:35Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > So, you are invited to a Catholic wedding/funeral/baptism/first communion/confirmation/whatever. Are you unable to see any distinction between attending, standing or sitting or kneeling as they do (or even just remaining seated) - as opposed to lining up to actively participate in the holy sacrament of communion? Well, the one time this occurred, they were passing around bowls of wafers, which struck me as vaguely odd, but I took one anyway. I stood when everyone else did. There wasn’t any kneeling or lining up involved. So… no. I’d probably limit my participation as much as possible through simple laziness, not reverence for the rituals. > [@](#): > > As a nonbeliever, it might seem like no big deal. But to many believers, it is only as big as the difference between eternity in heaven or hell. 😛 Well… I’ll take my chances, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/65 "2010-01-21T22:16:03Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Well, the one time this occurred, they were passing around bowls of wafers, which struck me as vaguely odd, but I took one anyway. I don’t know if you follow such things, but I vaguely recall some mild to-do a while back when a president or presidential candidate was criticized for accepting community in a christian church other than his own. Sure, in that instance folk were likely trying to score cheap points. But IME, there are at least SOME believers who take such things seriously. I don’t care for any religion. But my personal policy is that before I attend or participate in anyone else’s religious activities - especially in their house of worship, I try to figure out the bare minimum I need to do to avoid offending the folk who do believe. You know, keep shoes and/or hat on or off, eat the snack or go hungry - that sort of thing. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2010, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853/66 "2010-01-21T22:30:08Z")
Well, I assure you that if I ever run for President, I’ll meet this issue head-on. In the interest of full disclosure, I did not know and had never met the person whose funeral was being staged, but he was a member of a brother military unit so were were there, in uniform. Under those conditions, the pressure to conform to ritual and not be an individual is even greater, but I doubt I’d’ve acted differently. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-in-church/525853.md?page=3)