# Atheists; Your encounters with people who disapprove with your non-beliefs. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 26, 2011, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670 "2011-09-26T17:10:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/101 "2011-09-28T20:52:04Z")
It wasn’t quite discussions about my non-belief, but it was definitely conversations with someone trying to push their brand of Christianity. I was raised Catholic, but have lapsed into ? apathy is really the best answer. Someone here has a title (maybe **xtisme**?) of Agnatheist, which is kinda close, but that would imply that I actually think about it. Right after Katrina, a friend who found Jesus sent an email at work about how depraved all the people in NOLA were, and how this hurricane was punishment, etc. And something about a blizzard in ND, and how people treated each other better, there was no looting, or crime, blah blah blah. I fired off a retort bitching about every paragraph, and how there is logically no comparison, blah blah blah. And ended with “and you call yourself a Christian, you make me sick”. We haven’t spoken since. I did something similar to another evangelical who called me at work to make me feel bad about something in my life. She was crying when I hung up. Haven’t spoken with her either. I’m not very tolerant of people bothering me about this kind of stuff at work. My current boss is very catholic, and he goes to church over his lunch tuesdays and fridays, always talks about his faith. I’ve told him that I’ve lapsed into apathy, and he just nodded and said, God will wait for you. So I’m not mean to all religious people at work, only some of them! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/102 "2011-09-28T20:59:30Z")
> [@Cumberdale](#): > > I heard the usual, “you’re not really an atheist, your just angry with god” or any number of similar platitudes. As a former Christian, I’m an atheist _and_ I’m angry with god. 😉 I have a ‘‘[Nietzsche is my co-pilot](http://jabi.tumblr.com/post/105206882/nietzsche-is-my-co-pilot)’’ book bag that I adore (I have the t-shirts too.) It’s not explicitly atheist but it suggests that something other than god takes that place in my life, and it glorifies a dude who was notoriously anti-religion. I get nervous when I’m out in public with it that people will give me shit. People can make some pretty unfair assumptions about Nietzsche lovers. So far, though, I haven’t gotten any poor reception. My WAG is few people know enough about Nietzsche to care. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/103 "2011-09-28T22:54:41Z")
> [@Cumberdale](#): > > …I heard the usual, “you’re not really an atheist, your just angry with god” or any number of similar platitudes. … I typically get the first part, but not the rest. Apparently I’m not an atheist, but due to sheer ignorance, I _think_ I’m one. The reasoning seems to be that they know I’m a good person blah blah blah, and it’s just not possible for an atheist to be a good person blah blah blah. So rather than deciding I’m the evil person I must be if I was a genuine atheist, they decide I don’t know who or what god is, and who or what atheism is. It’s a compliment – I guess – that they prefer to think of me as an idiot rather than as evil. There don’t seem to be other options. ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2011, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/104 "2011-09-28T23:59:46Z")
> [@tim-n-va](#): > > I remember being in college and in the presence of some religious people (some of whom had tried to convert me) I looked up at the sky and said “Come on God, lightening bolt right here” (pointing at my chest). They stepped back and I said “Don’t you trust his aim”. Ha! That gives me an idea for a twist on that concept. I’ll be proudly professing that there is no god and in mid-sentence, I’ll shudder, struggle to speak, look to them with fear in my eyes, clutch my chest and tumble to the ground. If any of them buy it and try to examine me or start to go for help, I could then sit up and respond “You say faith, I say gullible.” ---
**Author:** ![PeskiPiksi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@PeskiPiksi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PeskiPiksi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/105 "2011-09-29T01:31:34Z")
Junior year in college, and my best friend starts griping about a mutual friend of ours, who she had just found out was an atheist. “Suzy” was a pretty strong Catholic, and she was offended that said mutual friend was still going to celebrate Christmas, exchanging gifts, putting up a tree, hanging lights, etc. Suzy thought that was horribly hypocritical of her. I braced myself and said, “you know, I might not be the best person to have this conversation with.” And I “came out” to her. She was, I think, completely stunned, like her world had just been turned upside down. Her two best friends in the world were heathens! 🙂 We continued the conversation, and to her credit she accepted my side of the argument about secular vs. religious celebrations, and admitted she had been wrong. And it didn’t affect our friendship; we stayed best friends for years. I think that whole thing was an eye-opener for her–that being an atheist did not equal being evil. (In case anyone’s wondering why my best friend didn’t know this basic information about me, it’s because my atheism was still new to me, and I hadn’t told _anyone_ yet. Plus, I live in Oklahoma. Around here, it’s not the kind of information you throw around willy-nilly.) I’m 35 now, and still pretty much in the closet. I think my Mom knows, although we’ve never said it outright. She doesn’t care. I would like to be more open about it, but my grandmother, who is almost 91, would be heartbroken. The only exception I used to make was for guys I dated. I always tried to get the information out there by the second or third date. I figured, better find out sooner rather than later if he could handle it or not. Had two guys who said, “no thanks,” so I think it was a good policy. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/106 "2011-09-29T02:45:37Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I typically get the first part, but not the rest. Apparently I’m not an atheist, but due to sheer ignorance, I _think_ I’m one. > > The reasoning seems to be that they know I’m a good person blah blah blah, and it’s just not possible for an atheist to be a good person blah blah blah. So rather than deciding I’m the evil person I must be if I was a genuine atheist, they decide I don’t know who or what god is, and who or what atheism is. > > It’s a compliment – I guess – that they prefer to think of me as an idiot rather than as evil. There don’t seem to be other options. I don’t know about it being a compliment though. I think I feel the same way they would feel if I said, “you’re not really a Christian, you just need to think rationally” or something similar. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/107 "2011-09-29T02:57:56Z")
> [@Cumberdale](#): > > I don’t know about it being a compliment though. I think I feel the same way they would feel if I said, “you’re not really a Christian, you just need to think rationally” or something similar. Maybe compliment isn’t the right word. I think they are categorizing me the most favorable way they are able, given that they seem to have limited their choices to ignoramus or Satan. OTOH, they are telling me I’m too good a person to be an atheist, which is of course total ignorance on their part, but I think it is intended to be complimentary. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/108 "2011-09-29T04:24:33Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > [I like to keep a stack of these around, just in case.](http://www.hellblazer.com/media/chick-cthulu.html) That’s funny right there! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![raventhief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/raventhief/32/4_2.png) [@raventhief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raventhief)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/109 "2011-09-29T04:37:45Z")
It’s late, and I am working my way thru the thread, but I wanted to post before bedtime. I had a coworker, who is Roman Catholic, and the subject of Jehovah’s Witnesses came up. It came up becasue our IT consultant is one…or rather, was raised one, and I have known him for decades. Anyway, I may have made some sort of off hand remark about not celebrating birthdays or some such. It MAY have been my fault it even came up. This perfectly lovely girl declares Jehovah’s Witnesshood to be a CULT. I said, well, according to the pyschological definition, I’m not sure that’s the case…and her response was that she knew a girl in high schoool who DIED because she was a Jehovah’s Witness, and they dont allow blood transfusions, and any religion that causes DEATH because of RELIGIOUS BELIEF is by her definition a CULT! I said, Ah. Yes, no Roman Catholic has ever died adhering to to the Pope’s decree. And I turned back to my computer and went on with my work. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/110 "2011-09-29T05:24:52Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > You seemed to think that religion is a casual or unimportant thing here. It’s not. **Lynn Bodoni** has already spoken of how seriously people take religion here. I was thinking you dind’t get it; if I misunderstood, I apologize. No need to apologise, I don’t think my post to which you were replying was very eloquent even by my low standards. I was not trying to say that religion was casual and unimportant but rather that it is so woven in to the social fabric that it comes up all the time as a topic of normal social or work conversation. I suppose I was struggling to see how religion would come up in normal working life but when **Oakminster** gave the example of how someone might ask “which church you went to” I could see it. It’s easier to imagine you learning about people’s theism or non-theism in the workplace in that way than to imagine someone saying “I beleve in a deity, how about you?”. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/111 "2011-09-29T14:33:03Z")
i haven’t been bothered much. I had two co-workers press me about my atheism, but it was mainly curiosity. I think really faithful people who get really wrapped up in their own faith start to feel that belief in God is so natural they can’t wrap their heads around someone that doesnt believe. My wife is A Cradle Catholic who considers herself spiritual. She doesnt mind I’m atheist any more I mind her being Catholic. I’ve told her that my only gripe with religious people is that they seldom have to lie/downplay their beliefs but Atheists do all the time. She seems to think Catholics have it harder :dubious: but again, doesnt question my beliefs. Her familys religion seems more culturally rooted than about actually believing in God. And they’ve never questioned my beliefs. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/112 "2011-09-29T16:18:36Z")
A couple weeks ago, I was having dinner with a prospective friend and we were talking about dealbreakers for relationships. She must have felt safe in assuming that I was a Believer. Rather casually she said she couldn’t be with a guy who wasn’t a believer because “you have to believe in God to have a sense of right and wrong, and not be selfish”. Amazingly, I kept a straight face the whole time. Let her finish her thought, and then just as casually said I disagreed with her because I’m agnostic and still manage to find a way to care about others and do the right thing. Then she looked real awkward, and I silently laughed. We have not become friends. Oh well. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/113 "2011-09-29T16:51:21Z")
I was raised Catholic, and gradually lost me faith throughout college. I didn’t actually call myself an atheist until later. My mother still badgers me to pray & go to church to this day. She wants to know where I went wrong, how I lost my way, why I can’t just come back, etc. She refuses to listen to anything I say, and just expects me to believe. It’s quite annoying. I’ve had lots of negative experiences because of my atheism. At first I was a bit outspoken about it, but I quickly learned to keep quiet about it. A coworker I was friendly with stopped talking to me when she found out I was an atheist. A nice little old lady I talked to at a bus stop insisted that I had to accept christ into my heart or I would burn in hell, and when I wouldnt she just started shrieking it louder and louder. After being told that I was an atheist another coworker replied with ‘No, thats not true, everyone believes’, and then started sending me youtube videos with Muslim preachers that all proved that Islam was right. Now I just keep my trap shut and if directly asked I respond with ‘That’s private’. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/114 "2011-09-29T17:02:15Z")
I’m hearing a lot of “Love thy neighbor, unless thy neighbor doesn’t share thy beliefs, in which case act like a jackass” in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/115 "2011-09-29T17:28:43Z")
I had a boss who talked being born again as the way. He preached a lot at work. He also was skimming money off contract work. You would work 56 hours a week and do another job after work or at home. But the checks were always short. One day I asked him how he could talk religion and seal off contracts. He said" that is business’. I have lots of respect for religious people. Many businessmen profess a strong belief in god while having no trouble screwing over their fellow citizens. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/116 "2011-09-29T17:45:52Z")
When I was in U.S.A.F. basic training, Sunday mornings was when the troops were assigned to grounds cleanup…unless you went to church that morning, and joining the choir meant you didn’t have to participate in barracks cleanup either. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/117 "2011-09-29T20:20:49Z")
People are also surprised that I celebrate Christmas. You can pry christmas from my cold dead hands. You took away the Winter Solstice festival or whatever else we were celebrating, and the whole country is celebrating, so damn right i’m going to put up tinsel and colored lights in the dead of winter, and celebrate another year gone by. _clutches plastic christmas tree_ ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/118 "2011-09-29T21:12:44Z")
“I’m not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn’t exist? That’s way too convoluted for me.” A. Whitney Brown. Just a quote I like. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/119 "2011-09-29T21:20:13Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > People are also surprised that I celebrate Christmas. You can pry christmas from my cold dead hands. You took away the Winter Solstice festival or whatever else we were celebrating, and the whole country is celebrating, so damn right i’m going to put up tinsel and colored lights in the dead of winter, and celebrate another year gone by. > > _clutches plastic christmas tree_ I love you, Mika, but plastic Christmas trees are all kinds of wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Cumberdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@Cumberdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cumberdale)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670/120 "2011-09-29T21:35:57Z")
I suddenly remembered when we were kids we’d go camping at lake Texhoma. Early Sunday morning a priest, i believe Catholic, was out on a boat with huge speakers preaching to everyone whether we wanted it or not. Most seemed to ignore it and go about their business or complain about being woken up. I wonder if they still do that? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/atheists-your-encounters-with-people-who-disapprove-with-your-non-beliefs/597670.md?page=7)