# Athena and Byzantine's Naked Pillow Fight

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 5, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750 "2000-01-05T20:17:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/1 "2000-01-05T20:17:00Z")

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Bonk! I got ya, Byz!

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**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/2 "2000-01-05T20:21:00Z")

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She walks into the room, flings her robe to the floor, her nude body gleaming with baby oil.

“You’re toast, woman.”

She hefts the 3 pound feather pillow in one mighty hand and swings.

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**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/3 "2000-01-05T20:23:00Z")

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Bonk? What’cha got in that pillow, Athena?

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/4 "2000-01-05T20:25:00Z")

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Athena, in all her godly glory, pins her long blond hair up into a pony tail. She ponders her weapons, and decides on the king-size body hugger premium dove down pillow (made from all those sacrificial doves, you know). WHOMP! The crowd roars!

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**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/5 "2000-01-05T20:26:00Z")

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Mullinator walks in with a video camera and a plan to make a tidy profit through tape duplication.

* * *

Well, shut my mouth. It’s also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling.

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**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/6 "2000-01-05T20:31:00Z")

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“Okay, blondie.” Byzantine flicks back her dark brown hair and it flows down her back like a dark river. She takes the blow and smiles. Her body hardly moves from the blow at all.

“Is that all you have?” She mocks. She hefts her mighty pillow again but decides to whap the camera out of Mullinator’s hand first. Then she swings at Athena.

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/7 "2000-01-05T20:33:00Z")

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And Athena catches the camera! She deftly avoids Byzantine’s swing, and turns on Mullinator.

“What’s the big idea, little man? Didn’t you read the first thread? All financial rights to this pillowfight will be divided between Byzantine and I!”

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/8 "2000-01-05T20:47:00Z")

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(shhhhh… don’t anyone tell Byz she’s on her 999th post… in the pillowfight thread, no less!)

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**Author:** ![Girl\_Next\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@Girl\_Next\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_Next_Door)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/9 "2000-01-05T20:56:00Z")

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Hey, Athena, I was just returning that book I borrowed and…

…holy shit! What’s going on in here?

* * *

Leslie Irish Evans  
[http://leslie.scrappy.net](http://leslie.scrappy.net)

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**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/10 "2000-01-05T21:10:00Z")

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Thankfully, Mullinator does not mind being in the middle of two naked, oil-covered women. He is also quite glad that he took great pains to have more than one camera focused on the room.

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**Author:** ![Byzantine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dfb087/32.png) [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/11 "2000-01-05T21:11:00Z")

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“I’m rolling over! WOW!”

## Byzantine, distracted by this momentous occasion, drops her pillow and hugs everyone in the room. She is immediately hit by about three pillows. Laughing, she swings back.

Best!  
Byz

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**Author:** ![Catrandom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7bcc69/32.png) [@Catrandom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catrandom)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/12 "2000-01-05T21:13:00Z")

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Hey, Byz and Athena – I know you’ve disabled Mullinator, but there’s some other guy trying to sneak in the back door with a camcorder.

Catrandom, raising the alarm

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**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/13 "2000-01-05T21:15:00Z")

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Mullinator! You’re doing well today! Few good one-liners in GD, getting in between a naked Athena and Byz…good work, sir.

* * *

“You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!” - Brian, aka SDMB’s one and only Satan.

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**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/14 "2000-01-05T21:18:00Z")

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Athena breaks out of the rollover hug with Byz, and whips a pillow at that other guy with the camera. You men better have LOTS and LOTS of oxen thighbones ready for sacrifice, cuz it’s gonna take TONS for you to atone for this stuff.

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**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/15 "2000-01-05T21:20:00Z")

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Kunilou, remembering his vow that he had never cheated in either of his marriages, backs quickly out of the room, resolved to come back and get the camcorder later for a little private screening for him and the missus.

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**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/16 "2000-01-05T21:29:00Z")

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Kunilou, just let me know where you want the tape sent. I am willing to put myself in the middle of this whirlwind of slick flesh for the good of the community.

I don’t care about my own needs (especially those a little to the left Byz, just shift around for a while).

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**Author:** ![Heath\_Doolin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Heath\_Doolin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heath_Doolin)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/17 "2000-01-05T21:36:00Z")

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looks about and looks at his ticket

Hey this ain’t the Tractor Pull…oh wait…this is much better

Sits down and puts on a giant foam finger

I don’t care who wins! Its nudity! NUDITY!!!  
Sis Boom Rah!! Gooooo Naked Chicks!!!

Hey wait is someone taping this???

* * *

Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.

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**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/18 "2000-01-05T21:51:00Z")

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Canthearya walks into the arena of soft ‘n’ fuzzy death, clad in nothing but a shapeless, neck-to-toe burlap bag.

:::gingerly tapping Byz on the shoulder:::

Congrats, Byzbaby!

_Exit, stage left even…_

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**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/19 "2000-01-05T22:06:00Z")

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Tractor Pull? You mean there’s a TRACTOR PULL going on now?

[scampers out the back door, beelining for the Tractor Pull]

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**Author:** ![pluto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f08c70/32.png) [@pluto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pluto)\
**Post date:** [January 5, 2000, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/20 "2000-01-05T22:56:00Z")

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Having spent some time at the Illinois State Fair and sitting through a few tractor pulls, I have to interject that they wouldn’t be interesting even if naked women and pillows were involved.

## And now back to ringside…

_De gustibus non est disputandem_

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