# Athena and Byzantine's Naked Pillow Fight **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2000, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750 "2000-01-05T20:17:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/161 "2000-01-10T19:25:00Z")
I’m late, I’m late! Sorry! Okay, let’s see what I brought . . . I gotcher whipped cream - the real stuff, mind you, not that canned stuff. I gotcher chocolate sauce. I gotcher five person hottub with bubblebath. I got your peeled grapes, your marischino cherries, your big tickling feather, and - (Reaching into the gaggle of naked bodies running past, closing on an ankle - the owner of which trips and falls in a puddle of peppermint oil) Oh, yeah . . . I got Sealemon. Heh heh heh. Hiya, sweetie. New in town? ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/162 "2000-01-10T20:02:00Z")
Ok, Phouka, let’im go; I’ve got some 90 weight here, and if you’re feelin’ frisky I’ll give you what Athena got. Even if you get clean again, the smell will be with you a LONG time! (how’m I doing, Seal? does she look scared yet?) ---
**Author:** ![BrainWeasel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@BrainWeasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainWeasel)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/163 "2000-01-10T20:47:00Z")
Now available! The commemorative collector’s edition Coed Naked Pillow Fight T-shirts! Featuring all the hot, text-based action you’ve come to expect from the Straight Dope Message Board. Quantities are non-existant, so order now! ## Brought to you by _ **SMILE DAMMIT.** _ Inc. -BrainWeasel Squeaks from BrainWeasel’s Cage [http://brainweasel.home.att.net](http://brainweasel.home.att.net) ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/164 "2000-01-10T21:32:00Z")
Having sucessfully backed SanibelMan to the door and giving him a stern warning, Ayesha turns and sees that the wicked VB has returned and is tormenting her fellow feathered fighters. She sneaks up behind VB and swiftly plants one of the hot sauce filled super soakers down the back of his pants. Hold it right there, you take one more step toward Pouka with that forty weight and I’ll blast your butt. Damn I’ll never get to Lion like this. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/165 "2000-01-10T21:36:00Z")
Man, this party’s gettin’ DULL! Athena; you, me, 500 naked doves, a Weber grill, whaddaya think, hmmmm? (wiggling eyebrows) * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/166 "2000-01-10T21:40:00Z")
Oh, Ayesha, tease me! It’s 90 weight! You want some? Huh? HUH?! You and your Tobasco can’t hurt me! I’ve smothered my nether regions with A&D! Ha! Bwaaaahahahaha! * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/167 "2000-01-10T22:35:00Z")
Oh so you wanna play dirty do ya VB, well try this on for size :: grabs Shadows cuffs and strap on :: who’s laughing now oil boy. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/168 "2000-01-10T23:14:00Z")
VB, backing away warily: Uhhh, I don’t think your bite’s as bad as your growl! Hey, shadowfox, got any iron underpants? can I borrow them briefly (pun intended)? Ok, Sealemon, I helped you; now it’s time for us guy types to stick together! * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/169 "2000-01-10T23:30:00Z")
Gee, I almost forgot that I was on the Internet. Good thing this thread was here. Rousseau steps off his soapbox, writes “HYPOCRITE” on his chest with chocolate syrup, and steps into the fray. With one swift movement, he disarms Shadowfox and binds her wrists to a bedpost with handcuffs of his own. He picks up a stray feather from the floor and begins the torture… * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/170 "2000-01-10T23:35:00Z")
Ummm, Rousseau, sounds like fun, but give me a hand with Ayesha, Huh? I don’t think Shadow is going anywhere at the moment! But go easy with her; her ‘pride’ is at stake! * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/171 "2000-01-10T23:50:00Z")
I wouldn’t consider it, except the pun at the end got me. [Whispers to VB]: Take this feather, I’ll apply the full nelson. Rousseau slyly slips behind Ayesha, and locks her arms behind her head. “GET 'ER!!” * * * The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/172 "2000-01-11T00:12:00Z")
Thanks, Pal! As VB approaches Ayesha, she struggles to break Rousseaus’ grip. Eyeing VB fearfully, she holds still and waits for the ‘mane’ chance, but her heart falls as she sees VB not only pick up the feathers, but the super soaker of Death! Not to mention the cuffs and strap-on… His evil grin does not bode well for the lioness! Now what’re you going to do? HUH? * * * VB TANSTAAFL! ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/173 "2000-01-11T03:19:00Z")
But, his attention focused on our beloved goddess, VB doesn’t notice when I let Sealemon go with a smack on the bottom, come up behind him and with amazing legerdemain (and a banana from one of my sisters-in-arms, er, -pillows) turn him into a large VB sundae - whipped cream, chopped nuts, the works. With a kiss, I slip him a little tongue and a marachino cherry to finish it off. Then, I dash in, give Roussea the same treatment (but without the cherry)and steal Ayesha away. WHEEEE! ---
**Author:** ![Rousseau](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Rousseau](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rousseau)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/174 "2000-01-11T03:23:00Z")
NO CHERRY FOR ME!!! YOU’LL PAY FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS!!! ## VB, hand me one of them Super Soakers… The IQ of a group is equal to the IQ of the dumbest member divided by the number of people in the group. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Corrado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a88e4f/32.png) [@John\_Corrado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Corrado)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/175 "2000-01-11T03:37:00Z")
phouka said: > [@](#): > > …turn him into a large VB sundae - whipped cream, **chopped nuts** , the works. _And a loud moan of sympathetic pains arises from the gallery, as hundreds of men wince and cross their legs simultaneously…_ The window’s open folks, let’s hear your bets. Who’ll survive the incredible carnage? Who’ll walk out the winner, and who will walk out the loser? Can we actually call any of the participants losers, in this peanut-butter and whipped cream filled montage of breasts and loins? That, my friends, is the question. ## Anyways, I’m starting all odds on takers at the standard 3:1. JMCJ **_Not Even Mentioned_ Most Popular Poster of the 20th Century Competition As overseen by Coldfire** ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/176 "2000-01-11T04:33:00Z")
Hmm, Ayesha will probably git took down by the Lion, and, historically, Byzantine’s already lost. Gimme 20 on Athena. ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/177 "2000-01-11T04:34:00Z")
After thanking Pouka for freeing her from the clutches of the evil VB and Rousseau Ayesha swiftly turns and and grabs both men by thier uh… nuts, and says I prefer crushed nuts to chopped ,thank you. As all the other men in the room turn away so they do not have to look at the gruesome sight of VB and Rousseau following Ayesha like puppies as she drags them by those very tender parts to the rest of her fellow fighters. Here ladies look what I got, shall we make them do tricks for us ? It’s easy, just tell them what to do and squeeze hard. Amazing what a little training can do. * * * Ayesha - Lioness * * * There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine (Thomas A. Edison) ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/178 "2000-01-11T04:50:00Z")
Um . . . \\_ **Peanuts** _\\ Chopped _ **peanuts** _ Or walnuts, or pecans. By taste preference. I like my men with all their parts attached. Really. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/179 "2000-01-11T04:57:00Z")
Oh, John, when will y’all learn, it ain’t about winners or losers, it’s just about the preponderant ticklishness of contact… :::Hoists the Burnin’ Hunk-o Love Pillow and starts spinnin’::: After enough rounds to gain dizziness, the pillow has a mind of it’s own and heaves toward the slippery knot of this unravelled thread… ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2000, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750/180 "2000-01-11T16:10:00Z")
Jeez, turn my back for one minute and look what happens! The party hots up again! OK, Ayesha, so you wanna play rough? Says the not-so-evil-actually-quite-a-nice-guy-once-you-get-to-know-him VB, as he pulls the hog ring and pliers from his pocket and reaches for Ayeshas’ right breast… Meanwhile, having freed himself from Lioness’s claws, and having deftly caught the Super-Soaker of death tossed to him by VB, Rousseau turns to give Phouka her just come-uppance! The rest of the men in the cheer to see these two gallant knights swiftly turn the tables on their Eeeevil Captors, all the while ignoring the residual pain from there 'nads in quite a stoic fashion! * * * VB TANSTAAFL! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athena-and-byzantines-naked-pillow-fight/15750.md?page=10)