# Athletes with the most appropriate names **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [August 21, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762 "2008-08-21T03:34:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/1 "2008-08-21T03:34:11Z")
The newly-crowned Fastest Man in the World has what must be the best name for a sprinter ever: **Bolt**. How cool is that? I never heard that surname before. Maybe there’s a John Lightning or Mary Dash out there tearing up the track, but until they surface, Usain Bolt is the king of great athlete names. What other oddly appropriate athlete names have you seen? Know of any weightlifters named Armstrong? Baseball players named Ball? Golfers named Green? I’m preferably looking for pros or Olympians, but that guy you knew in college will do too. There must be someone out there to rival the great name of Usain Bolt! (I guess this belongs here because it’s about athletes, but if it’s more MPSIMSy, Mods, please shuffle it off at will.) ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/2 "2008-08-21T03:35:36Z")
And in the more moderately-paced races, we have DeeDee Trotter. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/3 "2008-08-21T04:00:02Z")
When I was a kid, in the early Seventies, the Brewers had a so-so pitcher named Billy Champion. Not a great pitcher, but a great sports name. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/4 "2008-08-21T04:01:37Z")
There have been many golfers named Green, including a guy who won 19 PGA tournaments. > **[Hubert Green](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Green)** > > Hubert Myatt Green (December 28, 1946 – June 19, 2018) was an American professional golfer. Green won 19 PGA Tour events including two major championships: the 1977 U.S. Open and the 1985 PGA Championship. He was inducted into the World Golf Hall of Fame in 2007. > Green was born in Birmingham, Alabama. He attended and played golf for Shades Valley High School in Birmingham. > Green attended Florida State University (FSU) in Tallahassee, Florida. While at FSU, he won the Southern Amateur in 1966 on... ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/5 "2008-08-21T06:22:18Z")
Stirling Mortlock, an Australian Rugby player. I don’t know what it is, maybe the “lock” part in reference to holding the ball? But something there screams “rugby,” not to mention “I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be.” ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/6 "2008-08-21T06:34:11Z")
[Alge Crumpler](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alge_Crumpler). Not a defensive player, unfortunately, but an awesome American football name… Joe ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/7 "2008-08-21T12:35:20Z")
The US women’s soccer goalie is named Hope Solo. That’s an apt description. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/8 "2008-08-21T12:41:02Z")
Billy Sunday, especially when he quite MLB to be an evangelist. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/9 "2008-08-21T12:50:35Z")
Pitcher [Rollie Fingers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollie_Fingers) ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/10 "2008-08-21T12:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Pitcher [Rollie Fingers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rollie_Fingers) [/QUOTE] Oh, that’s a good one. Also belongs on the list of Athletes with the Best Facial Hair. ---
**Author:** ![Baron\_Greenback](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baron_greenback/32/48_2.png) [@Baron\_Greenback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baron_Greenback)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/11 "2008-08-21T12:55:20Z")
If only there was a famous golfer called Woods! ---
**Author:** ![Defensive\_Indifference](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/defensive_indifference/32/6502_2.png) [@Defensive\_Indifference](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Defensive_Indifference)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/12 "2008-08-21T12:57:44Z")
[QUOTE=Struan] If only there was a famous golfer called Woods! [/QUOTE] :smack: That has never occurred to me. ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/13 "2008-08-21T12:58:32Z")
[QUOTE=Struan] If only there was a famous golfer called Woods! [/QUOTE] To bad Jeremy Irons never took up golf. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/14 "2008-08-21T13:13:26Z")
Sort of the opposite of what you’re looking for, but chuckle-worthy nonetheless… 6’7" basketball player [Purvis Short](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purvis_Short). ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/15 "2008-08-21T13:51:45Z")
How could you be anything but a great American football player when you have the name [Bronko Nagurski](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronko_Nagurski)? Or if you want something more literal, there was a boxer named Jimmy Thunder, who holds the record for the fastest victory by knockout in a professional fight (ten seconds, including the count). ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/16 "2008-08-21T13:52:16Z")
[QUOTE=Jragon] Stirling Mortlock, an Australian Rugby player. I don’t know what it is, maybe the “lock” part in reference to holding the ball? But something there screams “rugby,” not to mention “I’m more of a man than you’ll ever be.” [/QUOTE] [Lock](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lock_%28rugby_union%29#4._.26_5._Lock) is a position usually played by the two tallest guys on the team, aptly named because they lock their legs out during a scrum. Probably doesn’t count, and no cite, but I remember hearing that the Cleveland Browns went from 1960 to 1985 (or something like that) with only two years without a player named Brown. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/17 "2008-08-21T14:02:42Z")
[QUOTE=Noone Special] Sort of the opposite of what you’re looking for, but chuckle-worthy nonetheless… 6’7" basketball player [Purvis Short](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Purvis_Short). [/QUOTE] According to [BasketballReference.com](http://www.basketball-reference.com), there have been five NBA players with the last name Long. The tallest was Art, who played with four teams between 2001 and 2003. (Also on the list: Grant, John, Paul and Willie. Paul was the shortest.) And Luc Longley was 7’2" but Bob Bigelow was only 6’5." Along similar lines, it’s too bad Larry Bird wasn’t a great jumper. I don’t know how fast Bob Quick was. [Bobby Hooper](http://www.basketball-reference.com/players/h/hoopebo01.html) had a short career, but a very appropriate name! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/18 "2008-08-21T14:04:33Z")
Since someone has to post it: the race car driver named [Dick Trickle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle) ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/19 "2008-08-21T14:22:26Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Since someone has to post it: the race car driver named [Dick Trickle](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dick_Trickle) [/QUOTE] \ Who finished 24th. \ ---
**Author:** ![Svejk\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@Svejk\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svejk_1)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2008, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762/20 "2008-08-21T14:26:19Z")
I’ve heard it said that the Turkish goalkeeper’s (in football, that is) name, Volkan Demirel, means Volcano Ironfist in Turkish. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/athletes-with-the-most-appropriate-names/460762.md?page=2)