Speak for yourself, my girlfriend’s neighbor was a Playmate last year!
don’t ask: That’s the way I heard it. Of course Speedos tend to bunch everything up, so it would probably be potato-shaped instead of sausage shaped once everything was packed in there.
Another vote for the :seppuku: smiley, here.
I second Johnny’s original suggestion – say something like “show off your best swimsuit”; maybe add something like “be ready to get down and get wet”, but stop right there. Really. Just hope for the best, any attempt to deliberately incite scant clothing will fail… besides I know a few ladies who can take my breath away in conservative swimwear.
[OT]
Scylla’s suggestion brought to mind a (Shel Silverstein?) verse that went
Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife
nor the ox her husband bought her;
but the Lord does nowhere say you sha’n’t
covet thy neighbor’s daughter.
But since it does squick many among us (y’know, all that thinning of the skin may have something to do with the ozone… maybe the skimpy bikinis are not such a good idea), I hereby take a page from the Drug Policy ads and propose the Moral Loophole for DOM’s:
Scratch anything about daughters. Rent a room in your house to coeds from a nearby college, and then have THEM throw the party with yourself appointed lifeguard/chaperone. They may even think it’s cute the “old man” is looking after them! 
Audrey, I know you were trying to say something in your post, but everytime I got to the part about “teenaged friends’ scantily clad asses” my thought processes derailed. Sorry.
You can’t specify what guests should wear, and in fact mentioning anything about swimsuits in the invite is a bit creepy and may cause women to reconsider wearing the fine new two-piece they just got.
My suggestion: Say nothing about attire in the invite, then provide lots and lots of liquor.
Nemo, I’m still stuck at “pool party” and “bakini.”
“If you wear a one-piece, you’re swimming with Bin Laden!”
Ew.
I’m going to vote for combining several of the above suggestions. An invitation reading:
Let’s get the summer off to a good start!
Wear your best suit!
Free beer!
would get people looking their best, and probably of legal drinking age.
Why not just cut to the chase with a nudist pool party.
Eh, don’t say anything about attire. Be a good host, hand out alcohol and have a lot of fun.
Buddy, there’s no way on earth I would wear a skimpy bathing suit to a pool party when it was solicited because I would KNOW that I was being leered at. Somehow, that’s worse than only suspecting it. Yuck.
Oh ick.
On the other hand, I say go for it. It’s better that they’re WARNED. Then they know to stay away.
Scylla, your friend is a sicko.
Quick question:
Can I come along? I’ll bring three kegs. . . I’ve got my own tap. . .
Tripler
I’ll build you a new bar. . .
Yes, because enjoying the physical beauty of others is totally unheard of and wrong. :rolleyes:
You mean he is a man and enjoys looking at younger women?! :eek: Seriously, I don’t see the harm in looking as long as he’s not doing anything else.
Torben, there was a man at my bar once who mentioned to my (male) coworker that when his teenage daughter throws pool parties, he likes to look out from his upstairs window and watch them. And that every once in awhile he forgets which ones are which, and gets a little too interested in the sight of his own daughter’s backside, before he realizes it’s her.
He chuckled about this as if it were mildly amusing, i.e., “Yep, sometimes I gotta remember which one I’m lookin’ at!”
And it is this memory, and the look on this guy’s face, that springs to mind when I hear of Scylla’s friend “hosting” pool parties for his young daughter’s friends.
This. Is. Pervy.
Well, let me put it this way. Say, you’re a guy, you’re 50 years old, and your daughter is 20. She’s having a pool party, and fifteen 20 year old girls show up. They’re all in good shape, and wear sexy bikinis.
Now, let’s not fool ourselves: the 50 year old guy is going to notice these girls. He’s a guy! And personally, if he just happened to venture out into the yard and think, “Wow, that one girl really looks attractive”, then there’s noting inherently wrong with that. Mind you, I’m assuming he’s just casually looking over, and noticing her beauty. Obviously, hitting on those girls would be flat out wrong, even if the man is single. But noticing the beauty of an adult woman if she’s walking through your back yard in a bikini? No big deal.
However, appointing yourself “life guard” sounds like the guy just set up his beach chair and beer cooler to ogle the girls. That’s definitely out of line, and I’m sure the daughter would object.
I’m not even going to go into the notion of not even noticing it’s your own daughter your leering at. That’s just sick.
Johnny LA, are you familiar with Kevin Bloody Wilson? 
Coldfire, I see your point, and in theory you are correct…but the scenario has gone from teenage girls with a dad who sets up camp in the backyard and “enjoys the sights” to a group of 20-year-old women and a dad who happens to wander into his own backyard and briefly, casually admire them.
Maybe I’m just still too creeped out by the memory of the vacuous grin on that guy’s face to really rationalize this scenario.
All I know is I was totally grossed out.
hopes never to see said father again
Ugh!
No. Who is he?
What, don’t you guys have Moderator Bikinis? Or thongs? Why must it always be a hat?