# Attack Haiku

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 30, 2001, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688 "2001-06-30T02:56:34Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 6\
**Page:** 5

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/81 "2001-07-14T02:11:21Z")

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Sorry, **Abby** , but  
You have dishonored my school,  
And must be destroyed.

I challenge you to  
A duel someplace very high up,  
Above hot lava.

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/82 "2001-07-14T02:23:20Z")

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You are mistaken.  
You made the heinous error.  
The dishonor is yours.

In disgrace and shame  
you should perform seppuku  
not threaten me thus.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/83 "2001-07-14T02:47:42Z")

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I was about to  
Agree, then I saw line three.  
Looks like six there, no?

Once again I use  
My secret technique. None can  
Resist Gaudere’s Law!

Wait, is it Gau-deer  
Or is it Gau-der-ay? Damn  
It! I am undone!

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/84 "2001-07-14T07:02:42Z")

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Six not intended  
I meant “dishonor is yours”.  
A ghost added “the”.

Laughing my rear off  
What is this Gaudere’s\* Law?  
\*I used Gau-der-ay!

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/85 "2001-07-14T08:50:13Z")

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This is damn hard to  
Explain in haiku, but I  
Give it a shot:

He who finds fault in  
The words of others always  
Makes a mistake too.

There, that is G’s Law.  
That’s the whole thing except for  
The parts I forgot.

My haiku become  
Surreal. Time for this master  
To get some shut eye.

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**Author:** ![AbbySthrnAccent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@AbbySthrnAccent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AbbySthrnAccent)\
**Post date:** [July 14, 2001, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attack-haiku/70688/86 "2001-07-14T09:01:14Z")

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May you sleep safe from  
nightmares and bedbugs master  
of kung fu haiku.

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