# Attention dipsticks: Bicycles can go damn fast. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 7, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002 "2012-10-07T17:27:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/61 "2012-10-09T03:38:53Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > But can it detect the elusive Smugs Doucheon particle, long thought by science to emanate from dickbag cyclists in silly costumes? I see this is just turning into another good ol’ SDMB cyclist hate-on. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/62 "2012-10-09T04:17:44Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > I see this is just turning into another good ol’ SDMB cyclist hate-on. Well, the whole Jew thing was getting a bit played out. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/63 "2012-10-09T04:58:13Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > But can it detect the elusive Smugs Doucheon particle, long thought by science to emanate from dickbag cyclists in silly costumes? Here’s something I won’t do very often - defend cyclists. In my neighbourhood, about the only cyclists who _aren’t_ on the sidewalks are the Serious Cyclists in their douchey costumes. Of course, they’re breaking all kinds of other laws… > [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > I see this is just turning into another good ol’ SDMB cyclist hate-on. I hate cyclists because they earn it - I wasn’t born hating cyclists. I hate them as a pedestrian because they are all on the sidewalk with me, where they don’t belong, making MY walking where I do belong more dangerous for me to try to make things less dangerous for themselves. That equals selfish douchiness to me. I hate cyclists as a driver because of the way they pick and choose which laws they’ll obey - ride across the crosswalk to avoid waiting for a red light, then back onto the road, then onto the sidewalk again, then the wrong way up a one-way road, then drive their bikes across a bridge sidewalk where they’re supposed to get off and walk - there’s no limit to the assholery I’ve seen from cyclists. ETA: I forgot the ones downtown on the bike paths who ride as fast as they can in 5 kph zones that are always very crowded - so frickin’ dangerous! ---
**Author:** ![Dog80](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6bbea6/32.png) [@Dog80](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dog80)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/64 "2012-10-09T06:30:35Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Moderating] > Telling other posters “fuck you” is a violation of the Pit’s language rules. Please avoid doing this in the future. > > No warning issued. > [/Moderating] What? Since when? I don’t post much in the pit so I must have missed that rule change 😕 ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/65 "2012-10-09T06:58:12Z")
I’m one of those pedestrians you are almost hitting all the time because you’re riding in the shoulder in the city between the one way traffic and cars parked on either side of the road. IT IS BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING SEE YOU! No seriously do you know what a biker rider looks like before you can tell they are a bike rider? Beats me, a bizarre hunched over person too far away to matter, by the time I can tell you are a bike rider we’ll do the bizarre dance people do when they try to pass each other on the sidewalk and we’ll both be swearing at each other after. Stop barreling down the street in a narrow strip at 40 fucking miles per hour maybe? ---
**Author:** ![Seanette](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/seanette/32/9139_2.png) [@Seanette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seanette)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/66 "2012-10-09T07:36:17Z")
> [@Dog80](#): > > What? Since when? I don’t post much in the pit so I must have missed that rule change 😕 I wasn’t sure there _were_ language rules in the Pit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/67 "2012-10-09T09:36:09Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Why would anyone be proud of running a red light on a bike? That’s like bragging that your Ferrari got a parking ticket. Never said he was proud, mate. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/68 "2012-10-09T09:37:39Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > The funny side of it being… what, exactly? That a car driver lawfully going through a green light probably wouldn’t also have been killed in the event of a collision, but only emotionally scarred for life after having turned an idiot bicyclist into a grease stain in the intersection? > > Hilarious! That it is so incredibly rare and most cyclists do it, yet somehow not only did he get caught but also managed to get a not-too-small fine for it. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/69 "2012-10-09T11:43:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Here’s something I won’t do very often - defend cyclists. In my neighbourhood, about the only cyclists who _aren’t_ on the sidewalks are the Serious Cyclists in their douchey costumes. Of course, they’re breaking all kinds of other laws… > > I hate cyclists because they earn it - I wasn’t born hating cyclists. I hate them as a pedestrian because they are all on the sidewalk with me, where they don’t belong, making MY walking where I do belong more dangerous for me to try to make things less dangerous for themselves. That equals selfish douchiness to me. > > I hate cyclists as a driver because of the way they pick and choose which laws they’ll obey - ride across the crosswalk to avoid waiting for a red light, then back onto the road, then onto the sidewalk again, then the wrong way up a one-way road, then drive their bikes across a bridge sidewalk where they’re supposed to get off and walk - there’s no limit to the assholery I’ve seen from cyclists. > > ETA: I forgot the ones downtown on the bike paths who ride as fast as they can in 5 kph zones that are always very crowded - so frickin’ dangerous! Well, at least you admit you are a complete bigot. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/70 "2012-10-09T13:30:20Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > So which should I do, broadside/get broadsided by a car if I swerve left (since I have perhaps a couple feet at most of the rightmost part of the lane), or hit a parked car or the curb and fall onto the sidewalk/get taken out by a pole or parking meter if I swerve right? If there’s a car to your left I’d say the pedestrians have bigger problems than getting run down by your bike. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/71 "2012-10-09T14:37:18Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > If there’s a car to your left I’d say the pedestrians have bigger problems than getting run down by your bike. Not necessarily, it could have been a car coming the other direction which just passed where the pedestrians were trying to cross. The pedestrians may have timed their cross to do so after the car passed while ignoring the cyclist. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/72 "2012-10-09T14:39:21Z")
> [@grude](#): > > I’m one of those pedestrians you are almost hitting all the time because you’re riding in the shoulder in the city between the one way traffic and cars parked on either side of the road. > > IT IS BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING SEE YOU! > > No seriously do you know what a biker rider looks like before you can tell they are a bike rider? Beats me, a bizarre hunched over person too far away to matter, by the time I can tell you are a bike rider we’ll do the bizarre dance people do when they try to pass each other on the sidewalk and we’ll both be swearing at each other after. > > Stop barreling down the street in a narrow strip at 40 fucking miles per hour maybe? I’d like to know where these cyclists are who can barrel down the road at 40mph between the driving lane and the parking lane in city traffic, because that would be one hell of a fucking feat. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/73 "2012-10-09T20:41:16Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > If there’s a car to your left I’d say the pedestrians have bigger problems than getting run down by your bike. Peds can be dumb, and I say this knowing that I am one daily in Chicago. They like to step off the curb and move into traffic slowly, watching the cars go past, not noticing the approaching bicycles. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2012, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/74 "2012-10-09T21:36:37Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Well, at least you admit you are a complete bigot. Well if you assholes would stop being assholes on the road then we wouldn’t need to hate you. I still would but I just wouldn’t need to. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/75 "2012-10-10T03:24:04Z")
{Fist bumps **Drunky Smurf** } ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/76 "2012-10-10T04:38:45Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > So, what’s the point of the light? I’m sorry, but I can’t wrap my head around the idea that a pedestrian has the right of way when the pedestrian is crossing against a red light and crossing traffic has a green light. . If there is a crosswalk, vehicles are supposed to yield. Sorry if I wasn’t clear, I was speaking of both intersections with lights, those without lights (but with crosswalks), and crosswalks across streets between intersections. > [@](#): > > Agreed. The thing is, I accept that the posters here generally do obey traffic regulations when they (the posters, not the regulations) are on their bicycles. Heck, I follow them scrupulously here in Maoming; otherwise, I’d be just another statistic. The problem is that far too many cyclists in far too many cities simply do not give a hoot about traffic regulations when applied to the cyclists. I agree but there are way too many bikers who do not, and unfortunately because of those who don’t, most of us don’t feel inclined to offer much sympathy when a doper who bikes comes here to rant about it, it’s too easy to remember the times some idiot decided to cut the intersection (or whatever that kitty corner move is called) and narrowly missed wiping me out. FWIW, because I walk for most of my commuting, I do watch for bikes and motorcycles the times I end up having to drive my truck, but it’s really aggravating when so many of them don’t return the favor to peds (and don’t get me started on how rude they are to motor vehicles). Anyway, I’ve no doubt that few (if any) dopers are THAT biker. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/77 "2012-10-10T04:43:27Z")
> [@Monty](#): > > Uh, **Inner Stickler**. You might want to check the post I was responding to. He stated exactly what I meant by my post. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![fumster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e9c0ed/32.png) [@fumster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fumster)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/78 "2012-10-10T05:54:31Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > FWIW, because I walk for most of my commuting, I do watch for bikes and motorcycles the times I end up having to drive my truck, but it’s really aggravating when so many of them don’t return the favor to peds (and don’t get me started on how rude they are to motor vehicles). The latest in Portland is cyclists refusing to yield to pedestrians in cross walks on intersections with stop signs; I guess it’s just too hard to get back up to speed when you are on a god damned fixie. And the fucking arrogance is unbelievable. I almost go hit by someone blowing through a stop sign. There was no sheepish “sorry bro” he just kept on going and blew though the next stop sign as well. I commuted by bike in Boston 30 years ago, but I’ll be damned if I vote for another funding request for bike lanes until they start policing these assholes and writing tickets. Maybe confiscating a few thousand dollar bicycles would help as well. ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/79 "2012-10-10T07:24:06Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > I commuted by bike in Boston 30 years ago, but I’ll be damned if I vote for another funding request for bike lanes until they start policing these assholes and writing tickets. Maybe confiscating a few thousand dollar bicycles would help as well. Damn skippy! Really, I rather quickly lost count of the times I almost got clobbered by some moron on a bike who was: [list=a][li]running a stop sign[/li][li]barrelling down a crowded sidewalk[/li][li]running a red light[/li][li]going too fast for conditions[/li][li]driving at night with no lights[/li][li]illegally turning against traffic, to include foot traffic[/li][li]a few other violations I can’t remember right now[/list][/li] I’m with you on the confiscation thing. Start ticketing the lunatics, assigning them points against their DMV record, and once they reach a certain number of points–or of they hit a pedestrian–confiscate their high-dollar death trap and sell that sucker off to off-set the cost of bike lanes. For the bike riders that follow the laws, give them some kind of break. Maybe give them a new bike helmet on their birthday. Sadly, from what I’ve seen, there won’t be that many helmets given out. By the way, the one time I got into a bike-on-bike collision was while on-campus at University of California, Davis. The young lady on the other bike made an abrupt turn across traffic without looking. I went sprawling. She managed to stay upright and proceeded around the traffic circle, no intent to stop. Yep, that’s called hit and run. I managed to run across the circle and grab her bike and we had a nice, calm, polite (really, no sarcasm, it really was nice, calm, and polite) chat. The jackass who inserted himself into the conversation from across the way wasn’t polite. The woman on the other bike had this mind-boggling statement for why she didn’t stop: “I didn’t realize I had to.” She now knows she has to and that, yes, traffic laws apply to bikes, too. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2012, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002/80 "2012-10-10T09:48:36Z")
> [@fumster](#): > > I have to say that I am surprised that you manage to ride at all in places that routinely have drivers going the wrong way down one-way streets with no lights on and no brakes and deciding to turn left from the far right lane while cutting the corner. But please, when people from places that drive like assholes move to Portland don’t think that the fact that you are an eco-warrior on a bicycle lets you continue to do so. > > Your lesson in physics pretty much tells the whole story. You think because you are on a bike and not a car you can do what ever the fuck you want. But if you run down an old woman on a sidewalk don’t be surprised if your 15kg bicycle is used by bystanders to beat you senseless. So leaving aside a load of rhetorical dribble and wild imaginings about “eco warriors”, what I take from your post is that you don’t deny that motorists routinely break the laws that I (and **Mr Miskatonic** ) have said they break. You don’t deny motorists routinely speed. You don’t deny motorists routinely don’t indicate. You don’t deny many motorists roll though stop signs. You don’t deny many motorists drink drive. You don’t deny many motorists run reds. You don’t deny many motorists use cell phones while driving. You also don’t deny that the physics is such that this is all more dangerous than what cyclists do. So your singling out of cyclists as assholes has nothing to do with rationality. No doubt you enjoy fantasising about asshole cyclists hitting little old ladies on sidewalks so your bigotted little peabrain can froth with recreational outrage at the scene you have created. Meanwhile, in the real world, cyclists may very occasionally hit someone and even more occasionally be at fault, and even more occasionally cause serious injury. And motorists running lights and driving drunk and talking on their cellphones will actually kill pedestrians (and other motorists) by the score. But you won’t even notice the latter because it’s so routine you’re not capable of seeing it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-dipsticks-bicycles-can-go-damn-fast/637002.md?page=5)