# Attention everyone: Duck genitals. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834 "2010-04-12T13:47:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![General\_Derangement](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@General\_Derangement](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/General_Derangement)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/1 "2010-04-12T13:47:44Z")
So I sent this to Cecil, but Dex swatted it down in midair and told me to bring it here. Obviously I am being suppressed by the puritanical standards of those who run the various publications The Straight Dope appears in. But no matter. For now, I comply. I bide my time. Watching. Waiting. Someday I shall rise up and have frank discussions of duck genitalia with those censor-happy fools. Anyway. I don’t feel like typing my question again, so here’s the e-mail I sent. > [@](#): > > I want to know about duck genitals. I could take some time and explain my question, but since it’s nearly 4 AM, I’m giving you this article instead. > > [http://www.cracked.com/funny-2938-duck-rape/](http://www.cracked.com/funny-2938-duck-rape/) > > Now, I’m incredibly skeptical about anything I read on Cracked’s website, but this seems both on the level enough to consider as truth, and incredibly stupid enough to reject immediately. I’d appreciate the wisdom of the great Cecil on this subject. It’ll make a great icebreaker on first dates if I know all about it. So. I guess since I’m not gonna get the wisdom of the great Cecil, I’ll have to settle for the dubious intelligence of whatever zoologists, ornithologists, or whatever else hang around in these parts. ---
**Author:** ![yabob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yabob/32/2821_2.png) [@yabob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yabob)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/2 "2010-04-12T14:00:15Z")
Search on “Davian” and see what **Colibri** has to say on the subject. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/3 "2010-04-12T14:04:45Z")
All true, huge spiny corkscrew penises that erect explosively, duck bestiality, and all: [http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2009/04/friday\_weird\_sex\_blogging\_-\_th.php](http://scienceblogs.com/clock/2009/04/friday_weird_sex_blogging_-_th.php) [http://scienceblogs.com/tetrapodzoology/2009/07/duck\_humps\_dog.php](http://scienceblogs.com/tetrapodzoology/2009/07/duck_humps_dog.php) It puts Jemima Puddleduck in a whole new light. I believe pigs also have corkscrew penises. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/4 "2010-04-12T14:34:03Z")
> [@yabob](#): > > Search on “Davian” and see what **Colibri** has to say on the subject. While everything said in the article doesn’t hold true for all ducks, but just some species, (and I also haven’t checked every point), I would say it is for the most part true and based on scientific studies. Some species of ducks do commonly mate via rape, and some species have incredibly large and elaborate genitalia. ---
**Author:** ![General\_Derangement](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@General\_Derangement](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/General_Derangement)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/5 "2010-04-12T14:36:07Z")
You know, when I was a kid I wanted to be a wolf when I grew up. Now I’m older and wiser, and I want to be a duck. Thanks for the answers, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/6 "2010-04-12T14:41:22Z")
All nonhuman sexual intercourse is rape in the legal sense, because animals can’t give informed consent. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/7 "2010-04-12T15:09:44Z")
Why a duck? Why not a goose? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/8 "2010-04-12T15:10:50Z")
It’s true, all right. The scientific paper on necrophilliac homosexual duck rape won an Ignoble Prize (IIRC). ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/9 "2010-04-12T15:13:12Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I believe pigs also have corkscrew penises. I only recently discovered that cats have barbed penises. Og damn you, Straightdope! ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/10 "2010-04-12T15:25:17Z")
> [@Napier](#): > > Why a duck? Why not a goose? Research into “Why a duck?” was conducted by **Exapno Mapcase** ’s brother **Forenko** (ЧИКО MАРКС). 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/11 "2010-04-12T17:04:04Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > It’s true, all right. The scientific paper on necrophilliac homosexual duck rape won an Ignoble Prize (IIRC). [Found it.](http://www.nmr.nl/nmr/binary/retrieveFile?instanceid=16&itemid=2574&style=default) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/12 "2010-04-12T17:17:08Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > I only recently discovered that cats have barbed penises. Which is why female cats resist every tom dickin’ hairy. 😃 With apologies to Spider Robinson… ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/13 "2010-04-12T17:26:13Z")
This doesn’t make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Since the elaborate vaginal passages of a female duck happens in response to rape and lessens the chance of impregnation, shouldn’t those defenses have died out rather quickly? If anything, science seems to tell us that the female ducks who evolve more rape-able vaginas would be the norm, as horrifying as that sentence was to type. ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/14 "2010-04-12T17:35:53Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > This doesn’t make sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Since the elaborate vaginal passages of a female duck happens in response to rape and lessens the chance of impregnation, shouldn’t those defenses have died out rather quickly? > > If anything, science seems to tell us that the female ducks who evolve more rape-able vaginas would be the norm, as horrifying as that sentence was to type. The elaboration doesn’t all happen at once. You get a _slight_ elaboration in rape-proofing as variation in one generation, and those males which are able to still mate pass on their anti-anti-rape penises. Thus, there is never a generation in which the males are unable to mate with females. ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/15 "2010-04-12T17:47:01Z")
> [@General\_Derangement](#): > > Obviously I am being suppressed by the puritanical standards of those who run the various publications The Straight Dope appears in. One of the more famous early columns was on the nutritional content of semen. And I’ve seen the ads in the back of the Chicago Reader. I’m pretty sure “puritanical standards” aren’t in play here, although perhaps one has to draw the line at rape most fowl. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/16 "2010-04-12T17:56:37Z")
Not most fowl, just ducks. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/17 "2010-04-12T18:34:07Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Research into “Why a duck?” was conducted by **Exapno Mapcase** ’s brother **Forenko** (ЧИКО MАРКС). 🙂 Hey, don’t forget Граучо! ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/18 "2010-04-12T18:58:08Z")
> [@Darwins\_Finch](#): > > The elaboration doesn’t all happen at once. You get a _slight_ elaboration in rape-proofing as variation in one generation, and those males which are able to still mate pass on their anti-anti-rape penises. Thus, there is never a generation in which the males are unable to mate with females. I’m recalling an article (Carl Zimmer? Maybe. There were glass duck vaginas involved.) where the researcher posited that hard-to-rape duck vaginas gave the female some choice on which duck’s sperm to use. The degree to which she cooperated increased the chance of fertilization. The sperm of drakes she wasn’t impressed with could get diverted into side passages. Also the vaginas were corkscrew shaped in the opposite direction. (This may have been mentioned in the Cracked article, too - I can’t open that at work.) ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/19 "2010-04-12T19:13:06Z")
Yup. [Link.](http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/ballistic_penises_and_corkscrew_vaginas_-_the_sexual_battles.php) She’s not trying to die a virgin; she just wants to save her precious eggs for the male who’ll produce fit offspring. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/20 "2010-04-12T19:26:45Z")
I do. Whenever they’re thrown at me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834.md?page=2)