# Attention everyone: Duck genitals. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834 "2010-04-12T13:47:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/21 "2010-04-12T21:19:34Z")
Sex-specific evolution is a fascinating topic, because you’re selecting for two opposing strategies within the same genome. In fruit flies, for instance, males seem to be winning at the moment. Females who mate and lay eggs have a significantly shorter lifespan than those who remain virgins their whole lives. And male fruit fly sperm contains all sort of bizarre stuff, including proteins that travel to the brain of the female and attempt to reprogram her so she doesn’t mate with any other males. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/22 "2010-04-12T22:18:28Z")
> [@General\_Derangement](#): > > You know, when I was a kid I wanted to be a wolf when I grew up. Now I’m older and wiser, and I want to be a duck. > > Thanks for the answers, folks. You want to be a rapist with a willy that looks like a twisted duster? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 12, 2010, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/23 "2010-04-12T23:44:02Z")
Ah. Duck penis humor. Very. Well. I shall fight ignorance. Link is SFW. > **[National Geographic](https://www.nationalgeographic.com/)** > > Explore National Geographic. A world leader in geography, cartography and exploration. > [@](#): > > Another study reports on the exaggerated anatomy of the male Argentine lake duck, whose penis is about the same length as its body. The case is especially intriguing because very few species of birds have penises. > > Researchers from the University of Alaska discovered that the penis of Oxyura vittata, when fully extended, measures about 17 inches (0.5 meters) long. When not in use, the corkscrew-shaped penis retracts into the duck’s abdomen. > > The Argentine lake duck is small, weighing a little more than a pound (640 grams) and extending about 16 inches (41 centimeters) long from head to tail. Its penis, at about 17 inches, is the longest of any bird known so far, said McCracken. > > “Measurements that we had taken before were all from dissected birds, and we thought [the penis] was about 20 centimeters [8 inches],” he said. “But in April we were in Argentina collecting birds for another genetic study, and we found this bird running around in its natural form, with its penis hanging out, which was something we’d never seen before.” The Argentine lake duck is a stiff-tail duck. Make of this what you will. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/24 "2010-04-13T00:15:56Z")
> [@coffeecat](#): > > Yup. [Link.](http://scienceblogs.com/notrocketscience/2009/12/ballistic_penises_and_corkscrew_vaginas_-_the_sexual_battles.php) > She’s not trying to die a virgin; she just wants to save her precious eggs for the male who’ll produce fit offspring. I followed the link in that article to “Wait, that’s not a trunk”- glah! ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/25 "2010-04-13T00:26:34Z")
_blink__blink_ I will never look at the ducks that live on the pond in front of the hotel I work the same way again. Mallards and wood ducks. This thread has been disturbingly educational. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/26 "2010-04-13T00:59:18Z")
Given the title of the OP=_Attention everyone: Duck genitals_ I almost moved this to Cafe Society. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![General\_Derangement](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a183cd/32.png) [@General\_Derangement](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/General_Derangement)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/27 "2010-04-13T19:21:00Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > You want to be a rapist with a willy that looks like a twisted duster? :dubious: Look at it this way: I’m halfway there already. Might as well do it right. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/28 "2010-04-13T21:03:35Z")
Er… which half? ---
**Author:** ![BigNik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/73ab20/32.png) [@BigNik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigNik)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/29 "2010-04-13T23:10:57Z")
> [@](#): > > **Attention everyone: Duck genitals** Am I the only one hearing this as though it’s being announced over a department store PA system by someone who found an unguarded microphone? “ATTENTON SHOPPERS! DUCK GENITALS! THAT’S DUCK… GENITALS. ONE MORE TIME, DUCK…aargh. Get off me. Let me go…” ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/30 "2010-04-13T23:25:23Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > All nonhuman sexual intercourse is rape in the legal sense, because animals can’t give informed consent. You have clearly never been propositioned by a female cat in heat. She knows what she wants and she’ll do ANYTHING to get it. Now, you might argue that she doesn’t know that sex leads to pregnancy. But she does, indeed, give consent. In fact, she’ll be quite insistent. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/31 "2010-04-14T00:42:08Z")
Duck genitals? If I see 'em coming I do. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/32 "2010-04-14T17:05:22Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > Duck genitals? If I see 'em coming I do. [cane extended; curtains close] 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/33 "2010-04-14T17:07:50Z")
> [@BigNik](#): > > Am I the only one hearing this as though it’s being announced over a department store PA system by someone who found an unguarded microphone? > > “ATTENTON SHOPPERS! DUCK GENITALS! THAT’S DUCK… GENITALS. ONE MORE TIME, DUCK…aargh. Get off me. Let me go…” I smell a lawsuit coming on. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2010, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834/34 "2010-04-15T02:42:40Z")
I will never ever look at ducks the same way again. And I see them every day at work. Pervy birds. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-everyone-duck-genitals/535834.md?page=1)