# Attention Hetero's: Please take back America

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [February 11, 2004, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608 "2004-02-11T05:09:53Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 6

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/101 "2004-02-12T14:43:05Z")

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😉

vanilla, lengthening her message so it will post

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**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/102 "2004-02-12T14:50:13Z")

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> [@Malacandra](#):
>
> I find the term “breeder” somewhat laughable, as though gays were a kind of overclass that opted to devolve the perpetuation of the species on the Deltas and Epsilons of their brave new world, but by the same token, I don’t find it offensive either. Similarly, sadomasochists can call me “vanilla” all they like. Let’s not forget that vanilla ice-cream outsells all other flavours, after all. 🙂

Malacandra, I asked her first.

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**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/103 "2004-02-12T15:02:33Z")

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Well, I’ll be honest gex gex. I’m not really OFFENDED by ‘breeder’, as much as I find it annoying, in a gnat sort of way. It seems very patronizing that’s all. And at the time that I posted I wasn’t aware of all of the OTHER fodder Brandus would be supplying us with for this thread. Name calling is really the least of our problems.

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**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/104 "2004-02-12T15:54:05Z")

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> [@FriarTed](#):
>
> Malacandra, I asked her first.

So you did. Bah. Looks like I’ll have to look elsewhere for my large-breasted BJ-giver. As usual ☹

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/105 "2004-02-12T23:11:55Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Excuse me, this hate speech is intolerable. My people haven’t struggled for months and month in the entertainment industry to be known as morons. I would like to be known as a perfectly fashionable, infinitely witty, asexual accessory to beautiful women.

I would like to be known as the Empress General of the Planet Earth, but that’s not going to happen, either.

And I don’t think all gay people are morons. Just you.

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**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [February 12, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/106 "2004-02-12T23:25:19Z")

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> [@gex gex](#):
>
> **FaerieBeth** , **jarbabyj** , you want me to help pry those nails out?
> 
> Now, I could understand if straight people were actually suffering some actual form of discrimination, but damn, how do you cope with life if you get all pissy about some guy calling you a breeder? Get some perspective!

Jesus Fucking Christ. Where did I say I was OFFENDED?  
Provide direct quotes.  
I think I used the words distasteful, and then I ended with shrugging it off as rude. There’s a pretty big gap between finding something distasteful and finding something offensive, and if you don’t understand that, how do _you_ cope with life? :rolleyes:  
Now, to get even more specific, let me state I find it rude to be called a ‘breeder’ to my face. As in “Hey, Breeder!”…I could care less what you say out of my earshot about me because it affects me in no way.  
Now, if you’d like to hear some terms I really consider offensive, by all means, keep putting words in my mouth.

FB

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**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/107 "2004-02-13T00:18:08Z")

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> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> Jesus Fucking Christ. Where did I say I was OFFENDED?  
> Provide direct quotes.

_Tu quoque_, **FaerieBeth**. Where did **gex gex** accuse you of such? Here, since you seem to be suffering from a disconnect between what is written in a post and … well, what you read, is the entirety of **gex gex** ’s post:

> [@](#):
>
> FaerieBeth, jarbabyj, you want me to help pry those nails out?
> 
> Now, I could understand if straight people were actually suffering some actual form of discrimination, but damn, how do you cope with life if you get all pissy about some guy calling you a breeder? Get some perspective!
> 
> Y’all can call me cracker, breeder, whatever. And those breeders who get upset when you do - call them whingers.

Never used the word you put in all caps. Provide direct quotes, indeed.

> [@](#):
>
> I think I used the words distasteful, and then I ended with shrugging it off as rude. There’s a pretty big gap between finding something distasteful and finding something offensive, and if you don’t understand that, how do _you_ cope with life? :rolleyes:

Those who struggle with the grueling daily task of reading comprehension are definitely among the chosen few who should be asking that question. Or, you know, any other with no concrete basis in reality.

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**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/108 "2004-02-13T00:53:44Z")

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> [@iampunha](#):
>
> Never used the word you put in all caps. Provide direct quotes, indeed.

_Touché_, however, what interpretation would you give to ‘prying out nails’?  
I still maintain that finding a word distasteful is far removed from crawling up on a cross or being offended. That’s all. I find a word distasteful. I don’t find it offensive. I’m not on a personal mission to eradicate it from the lexicon.

Distasteful does not equal offensive. Distasteful does not equal me crawling up on a cross. I apologize for the all caps, but it’s getting extremely frustrating to have people intentionally misappropriate my meaning.

> [@iampunha](#):
>
> Those who struggle with the grueling daily task of reading comprehension are definitely among the chosen few who should be asking that question. Or, you know, any other with no concrete basis in reality.

Clearly, I am not the only one who suffers from this.

:: sigh ::: Alas, though…  
However, I will now bow to will of the people and state that, indeed, I obviously have no right to find any term ever applied to me distasteful(offensive or cross crawlingly horrid). I will, from this day forward, relish any and all casual, snide descriptions of me, my person, or my life with a cheerful sunny grin, and a “Thank you, sir. May I please have some more?”.

I believe **that** would better fit the definition of someone who needs help prying out the nails.

FaerieBeth, the Breeder.

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**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/109 "2004-02-13T01:30:46Z")

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> [@Brandus](#):
>
> Excuse me, this hate speech is intolerable. My people haven’t struggled for months and month in the entertainment industry to be known as morons. I would like to be known as a perfectly fashionable, infinitely witty, asexual accessory to beautiful women.

Hey, dude, I get it fully. I completely understand that the current media portrayals of gay characters tend to roles as FAAAB-uuulous archetypal sidekicks with very little to do with the realities of gay life.

Like I said, has happened with every other group of the population. Next you know, they’ll be turning up in war movies, taking over from the black guy the role of the one who gets nobly killed just as everyone was overcoming their prejudices.

Thing is, you may have noticed that to a lot of gay people that is at least a giant step up from being totally invisible, or being portrayed as predatory deviants. Sure, we should go ahead and demand to see the lesbian life-saving surgeon, the gay sports hero, the TG harried homemaker, the lesbian good-hearted airhead, the gay dead-end-job Joe Doofus. But that’ll take time.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/110 "2004-02-13T01:39:51Z")

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> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> Distasteful does not equal offensive.

> [@Dictionary.com](#):
>
> dis·taste·ful  
> adj.
> 
> 1a. Unpleasant; disagreeable: found cocktail parties distasteful.  
> 1b. Objectionable; **offensive** : used distasteful language.

The problem isn’t that other people lack reading comprehension. It’s that you lack writing comprehension: you clearly don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. As favor to everyone else on the board, why don’t you refrain from posting until you sort it out? I, for one, would really appreciate it.

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**Author:** ![FaerieBeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e95f7d/32.png) [@FaerieBeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FaerieBeth)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/111 "2004-02-13T01:45:30Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> The problem isn’t that other people lack reading comprehension. It’s that you lack writing comprehension: you clearly don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. As favor to everyone else on the board, why don’t you refrain from posting until you sort it out? I, for one, would really appreciate it.

Granted. My apologies to all I have horribly offended through my ignorance.

FB

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**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/112 "2004-02-13T02:07:58Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> The problem isn’t that other people lack reading comprehension. It’s that you lack writing comprehension: you clearly don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

Whoa, there, big fella. Dictionary definitions are freat, as far as they go, but certainly you must realize that words have connotations which aren’t alwys included in the dictionary. The term “offensive”, to me at least, connotes a much stronger level of objectionability than the word “distasteful”. They may be listed as synonymous, but they are not completely interchangeable.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/113 "2004-02-13T03:33:08Z")

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> [@Q.E.D.](#):
>
> Whoa, there, big fella. Dictionary definitions are freat, as far as they go, but certainly you must realize that words have connotations which aren’t alwys included in the dictionary. The term “offensive”, to me at least, connotes a much stronger level of objectionability than the word “distasteful”. They may be listed as synonymous, but they are not completely interchangeable.

But they _can_ be interchangable, and it’s up to the writer to make clear what shade of meaning she intends the word to have. If she failed to do that, then the onus for the misunderstanding lies with her for not being sufficiently clear, not with the person who read a perfectly legitimate interpretation into a less-than-clear statement. I’m just a wee bit sick of people who post something ambiguous, and then blame other people for not correctly guessing which of the many aplicable meanings they actually intended.

You could even say I find it offensive.

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**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/114 "2004-02-13T03:41:26Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> But they _can_ be interchangable, and it’s up to the writer to make clear what shade of meaning she intends the word to have.

Fine. However:

> [@FaerieBeth](#):
>
> I think I used the words distasteful, and then I ended with shrugging it off as rude. There’s a pretty big gap between finding something distasteful and finding something offensive…

Now explain how **FaerieBeth** ’s post fails to make clear precisely what she meant by “distasteful”. But perhaps my reading skills are not up to your level. I should certainly like to be enlightened.

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/115 "2004-02-13T04:10:37Z")

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As it turns out, **FaerieBeth** never said the term was distasteful. She said it was “rude and classless.” Since she’s evidently too dim to remember what she actually said, or too lazy to scroll back up and look, I don’t think there’s much point in continuing to dissect her posts. We’ve clearly already put more thought into what she said than she ever did, and with greatly diminished returns.

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**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/116 "2004-02-13T05:29:05Z")

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With all due respect, **JRDelirious** , I think you’re giving the OP too much credit. In his OP, he never said he was sick of the “flaming” stereotype of gays, but of anything to do with gayness in the media. That would include news about gay legislature, shows featuring gay characters, even threads on this message board about being gay. This is what everyone is rolling their eyes at, his claim of “proliferation” of gay images in the media, no matter what their tone.

Then he made a completely ignorant and misogynistic comment about women using sexual blackmail against men being the reason he’s gay. Please. He is a moron and shall remain a moron, forever and ever, world without end.

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/117 "2004-02-13T05:54:01Z")

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> [@gex gex](#):
>
> **FaerieBeth** , **jarbabyj** , you want me to help pry those nails out?
> 
> Now, I could understand if straight people were actually suffering some actual form of discrimination, but damn, how do you cope with life if you get all pissy about some guy calling you a breeder? Get some perspective!

Actually, I think the people most likely to be upset by the term are those who’d like to have kids, but can’t. Kind of rubs salt in their wounds, I’d imagine.

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**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/118 "2004-02-13T15:00:27Z")

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> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> Actually, I think the people most likely to be upset by the term are those who’d like to have kids, but can’t. Kind of rubs salt in their wounds, I’d imagine.

Thank you. I debated whether to even get into it or not, but that’s exactly it.

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**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/119 "2004-02-13T15:52:31Z")

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Re the title of the OP

Attention Homo’s: If Bush wins again, you can HAVE it.

🙂

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**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\
**Post date:** [February 13, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-heteros-please-take-back-america/228608/120 "2004-02-13T18:42:59Z")

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This thread made some good points

1. Some people see a trend in entertainment to trivialise being gay into a flavour of the month. And that gayness is equal to fabulousness.

2. While certainly not on the level of other insults, and posing no danger to the victim, the term “breeder” is annoying. How could it not be, comparing a segment of the population to livestock?

It’s too bad so much crap was flung about in the process. The OP should take heed as a lot of it was his doing by some ill considered jokes.

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