# Attention Ladies: Please do not cry at the office **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 14, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970 "2010-01-14T19:33:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/1 "2010-01-14T19:33:12Z")
It’s unprofessional and makes us men-folk uncomfortable. _I understand you are upset becasue you just had an argument with your son’s tutor, but please get a hold of yourself._ (Thank you. That is all.) ---
**Author:** ![Jelly\_Roll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Jelly\_Roll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jelly_Roll)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/2 "2010-01-14T19:45:14Z")
I rarely cry at work because it is SO unprofessional, but I have to admit it happens sometimes. But I always go to the ladies room until I can get the tears under control. My worst crying episode at work happened a few years ago. My very close friend ended up getting promoted and working in my department (yay!), but for an asshole (boo!). One day, her supervisor called her into his office and after about 20 minutes, opened the door and called me in. I walked in and there is my friend with tears just streaming down her face. It turns out she was being demoted. Well, that news, combined with how upset she was, made me start with the waterworks. So, this poor man had 2 blubbering idiots in his office. He promptly told us to take as long a lunch as we needed. Then some dude had to ride down 22 floors in the elevator with 2 complete strangers who couldn’t stop crying. Probably the worst elevator ride of his life. ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/3 "2010-01-14T19:46:08Z")
How does one do that? This is a serious question. I am a waterworks person - anger or frustration or disappointment all make me tear up at least if not more. I _know_ that it undercuts my position in an argument; I _know_ that it makes me look unprofessional. Whenever possible I try to do it in the bathroom, because it’s embarassing to me and to the people who have to hear it, but I can’t always leave the situation I’m in and I also can’t always make it there in time before the tears start. So how do I stop? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/4 "2010-01-14T19:46:30Z")
We can’t all stop crying at will. I wish I could. Oh, how I wish I could. But once I start crying, it’s not going to take much the rest of the day to get me started crying again. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/5 "2010-01-14T20:07:08Z")
I was told to look up - like at the lights. It works a little. a few trickle out, but by slowing it down, then the deep breaths get everything under control a little better. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/6 "2010-01-14T20:07:21Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > How does one do that? > > \ > > So how do I stop? I wish I had an answer, or at least **Zen Master Response™** like _“the answer is contained within the question”_ but I don’t. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![otternell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecc23a/32.png) [@otternell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/otternell)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/7 "2010-01-14T20:10:38Z")
I should be more clear. You do not look up with your head. You look up with your eyes and take a deep breath (or several). Meanwhile repeat to yourself something calming “just relax”. Something about your eyes looking upward is supposed to stop/slow down the waterworks. Its not 100%, but it has helped me. ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/8 "2010-01-14T20:10:39Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > So how do I stop? If you find out, let me know. When I get super angry I cry and I just can’t help myself. It’s very frustrating. And it’s only anger that does it to me in the work place. I got laid off once due to downsizing and I was perfectly fine. Sigh. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/9 "2010-01-14T20:18:58Z")
I’m female and I don’t enjoy people who cry in public either. When I came back to work after having the feline love of my life put to sleep, my nose and eyes were red, I had to step out a lot, it was perfectly obvious I’d been crying…but I didn’t lose it in front of people or try to talk about it. One of my co-workers had a problem with her boyfriend once. She approached me and suddenly burst into tears…and I just stood there and looked at her until she drifted in someone else’s direction. I just don’t know what to do with public displays of emotion from people I don’t know very well. Heck, I’m not very good with them even if I _do_ know the person. Bathroom’s right over there------------\> ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/10 "2010-01-14T20:21:58Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > When I came back to work after having the feline love of my life put to sleep, my nose and eyes were red, I had to step out a lot, it was perfectly obvious I’d been crying…but I didn’t lose it in front of people or try to talk about it. I would try very hard not to lose it in front of people, and I certainly wouldn’t want to talk about it. I find it hard to talk to my husband about something that has upset me enough to make me cry, let alone a co-worker. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/11 "2010-01-14T20:36:20Z")
I do tear up easily (especially reading certain threads on this message board), and I’ve found that if you can manage to speak in a very ordinary tone of voice, people will believe you when you say you just got something in your eye. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/12 "2010-01-14T20:51:52Z")
> [@Oni no Maggie](#): > > How does one do that? > > This is a serious question. I am a waterworks person - anger or frustration or disappointment all make me tear up at least if not more. I _know_ that it undercuts my position in an argument; I _know_ that it makes me look unprofessional. Whenever possible I try to do it in the bathroom, because it’s embarassing to me and to the people who have to hear it, but I can’t always leave the situation I’m in and I also can’t always make it there in time before the tears start. > > So how do I stop? Yep. Of course, I work at home now, but even if I didn’t, it’s not like I could just run off to the bathroom when it started to happen. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/13 "2010-01-14T20:57:18Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I’m female and I don’t enjoy people who cry in public either. > > When I came back to work after having the feline love of my life put to sleep, my nose and eyes were red, I had to step out a lot, it was perfectly obvious I’d been crying…but I didn’t lose it in front of people or try to talk about it. > > One of my co-workers had a problem with her boyfriend once. She approached me and suddenly burst into tears…and I just stood there and looked at her until she drifted in someone else’s direction. I just don’t know what to do with public displays of emotion from people I don’t know very well. Heck, I’m not very good with them even if I _do_ know the person. Bathroom’s right over there------------\> Are you of Nordic ancestry? ---
**Author:** ![Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jimmy_Chitwood)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/14 "2010-01-14T20:59:13Z")
It’s still cool if I do, right? ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/15 "2010-01-14T21:01:19Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > I do tear up easily (especially reading certain threads on this message board), and I’ve found that if you can manage to speak in a very ordinary tone of voice, people will believe you when you say you just got something in your eye. See, and that’s what wouldn’t help me! When I’m on the brink of crying, my voice gets all quavery. _That_ is when I lose it. The voice is far harder to control. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/16 "2010-01-14T21:03:56Z")
> [@Jimmy\_Chitwood](#): > > It’s still cool if I do, right? Dude. Totally. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/17 "2010-01-14T21:08:23Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > Are you of Nordic ancestry? 😕 German ancestry. Why? ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/18 "2010-01-14T21:13:55Z")
> [@otternell](#): > > I was told to look up - like at the lights. It works a little. a few trickle out, but by slowing it down, then the deep breaths get everything under control a little better. It also make any that get by slip out the outside corners without ruining your makeup. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/19 "2010-01-14T21:32:24Z")
I have read that clearing your throat can help stop it… for the OP - no one does it on purpose - we know it makes us look unprofessional and try very, very hard NOT to do it, but sometimes can’t help it. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2010, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970/20 "2010-01-14T21:39:31Z")
Seriously ladies, I know you’re all hormonal, but please try to contain yourselves while us men try to get some real work done. :rolleyes: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-ladies-please-do-not-cry-at-the-office/524970.md?page=2)