# Attention you so-called Christians **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [January 2, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231 "2000-01-02T19:13:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Jesus\_Christ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@Jesus\_Christ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jesus_Christ)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/1 "2000-01-02T19:13:00Z")
Stop using my name for your pathetic attempts to get attention! You’re only making things worse. Furthermore, many of you are not even catholics but simple heretic scum. Those who abondon the true faith will not share my kingdom with me. You are the damned. Verily yea have collaborated with the producers of tinned meats and have become like them, beasts among men. ---
**Author:** ![Bug\_Vomit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Bug\_Vomit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bug_Vomit)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/2 "2000-01-02T19:27:00Z")
Nemo? ---
**Author:** ![Mundo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc8723/32.png) [@Mundo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mundo)\ **Post date:** [January 2, 2000, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/3 "2000-01-02T19:58:00Z")
I am surprised Jesus Christ does not have a webpage or e-mail address. * * * Around the house, I never lift a finger/ As a husband and father I’m sub-par/ I’d rather drink a beer/ than win Father of the Year/ I’m happy with things the way they are. -Homer (Epsiode 3G03) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/4 "2000-01-03T04:07:00Z")
No way. ---
**Author:** ![Bug\_Vomit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Bug\_Vomit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bug_Vomit)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/5 "2000-01-03T04:16:00Z")
Good! I really didn’t think so, but I had to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/6 "2000-01-03T04:36:00Z")
Actually, Jesus does have a web page, check it out at [www.jesuschrist.com](http://www.jesuschrist.com) Pretty simple, eh? ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/7 "2000-01-03T04:38:00Z")
Jesus Christ! Who is this guy? Oh. Sorry. * * * A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago. ---
**Author:** ![JBENZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b77776/32.png) [@JBENZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JBENZ)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2000, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/8 "2000-01-03T05:22:00Z")
Somehow I just knew that the Great Behind Invasion was gonna turn into a Mel Brook’s movie sooner or later. I wanna play Rabbi Tuchmann. * * * JB Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis ---
**Author:** ![GOD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/34f0e0/32.png) [@GOD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GOD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/9 "2000-01-12T15:01:00Z")
Don’t mind the boy. He’s been a little moody ever since I let him get nailed to that cross. ---
**Author:** ![Satan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Satan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satan)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/10 "2000-01-12T16:43:00Z")
Don’t mind me… I just figured any thread with Jesus and God, I should drop by and see how the other half were doing. Carry on… * * * Yer pal, Satan _ **First Place** Most Popular Poster of the 20th Century Competition As overseen by Coldfire_ ---
**Author:** ![psycat90](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@psycat90](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psycat90)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/11 "2000-01-12T20:40:00Z")
Since your here, what does the H. stand for? Wait nevermind, I’ll look up Cecil’s answer. * * * so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Clinton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@Bill\_Clinton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Clinton)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2000, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/12 "2000-01-12T20:40:00Z")
Forgive me Jesus and God, I’ve had a little trouble with the commandments…especially the adultery one. Blame it on Satan! He made me do it. Can any of you fix me up with Sen. Barbara Boxer? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/13 "2000-01-13T04:57:00Z")
psycat, it stands for Hallmark. Because He cared enough to send the very best. ---
**Author:** ![N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@N\_oR\_jVIaL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/N_oR_jVIaL)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/14 "2000-01-13T06:09:00Z")
## “He’s been a little moody ever since I let him get nailed to that cross.” So that’s why you let him bounce around on that pogo stick, with no helment. … oh well…I guess you know what’s best… ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2000, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/15 "2000-01-13T08:24:00Z")
Drat, Sly! I could’ve sworn it stood for “Help me spell “you’re” correctly!” Oh, well. (Just taking advantage of the opportunity for a cheap joke.) ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/16 "2000-01-14T04:23:00Z")
[insert very ironice blaspheme here], the H. stands for HAPLOID. sheesh. :rolleyes: hehe, check out the smilies. ---
**Author:** ![Surgoshan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Surgoshan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surgoshan)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/17 "2000-01-14T04:24:00Z")
😮 oops, that should be ironice, not ironice (which sounds suspiciously like a bit of architecture). ---
**Author:** ![AzRaek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/azraek/32/16739_2.png) [@AzRaek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AzRaek)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/18 "2000-01-14T04:36:00Z")
No it’s Harold. * * * “That was a hell of a thing.” ---
**Author:** ![WallyM7](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5e925/32.png) [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/19 "2000-01-14T05:10:00Z")
Our Father, who Art in heaven, Harold be thy name. Okay. I know who Harold is. Who’s Art? * * * A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago. ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2000, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attention-you-so-called-christians/17231/20 "2000-01-14T07:46:00Z")
Wait a minute. [www.jesuschrist\*\*.com\*\*?!?!](http://www.jesuschrist **.com**?!?!) J.C. is branching out into the e-commerce arena?! When’s His IPO, I want in on this action!