That should be: aforementioned pink refrigerator magnet… :smack:
Originally Posted by Hilarity N. Suze
I really don’t want people I care about to spend time and money shopping for something I don’t want.
And if I wanted it, I’d have it already. Okay–I can think of a few exceptions.* I could be pleasantly surprised. Based on past experience, though, it is unlikely in the extreme.
So based on all this, the people closest to me are reluctant to get me anything at all. This way I’m never disappointed, and I never have to fake a happy reaction.
Dad? Is that you?
Seriously - have you told people that? My FIL finally told his kids that he had enough tools and didn’t like gift certificates. Birthdays and Father’s Day, they visit and wish him well, but don’t bring gifts. He doesn’t seem to care - just seeing his kids works. For Christmas he is part of the exchange, writes a list, and seems to enjoy what he gets. Easy and straightforward.
My dad is another matter. He’s a little better now, but he;
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Buys it for himself if he wants it
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Wants gifts for each occasion
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Seems let down if it’s something he’s asked for (no surprise for him)
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Doesn’t like it if it’s a surprise
I gave up a few years ago. Father’s day or birthday, I am sure to stop by and give him a card. That’s it. I do buy him Christmas gifts. I got tired of him looking at what I had bought and being obviously disappointed. I wasn’t the only one - even Mom gets the same reaction sometimes!
So… have you told your family and friends that the pleasure of their company on your birthday is enough?
It’s sad that I’m honest with the people closest to me? I don’t think so.
I do thank people who give me gifts. I thank them effusively. I am not the world’s best actor so I usually try to convey these thoughts on paper, where I’m used to lying. I usually include a modicum of truth to the effect that I am so thrilled they thought of me, which I am. Disappointed in the gift itself, true, but that’s the lying part.
I don’t think so–but on the off chance, I don’t need a Mac. Really. The Windows XP was more than enough. Really, really, really–you shouldn’t have.
Yes!
But if they get me something anyway I will thank them.
Good thing you said this is your dad, because if it was your mom, then you’d be The Nephew and he’s way too young to post here!
My SiL and your Dad are related, I swear. Her presence makes me dread every gift-giving occasion.
The best gift you give a loved one is appreciation for the gift they gave you.
Think about how good you feel when someone you give a present to expresses obvious pleasure. Wouldn’t it be nice to let someone else have that feeling?
If the gift-giver is present, then a polite “thank you” is required. If you don’t like/can’t use/won’t use the gift, you can return it later, or add it to the pile of emergency gifts for people you don’t like…but when re-gifting, one must ensure that one does not regift within the same circle, for the original giver must never know.
As far the brat that threw the temper tantrum, since she was not promptly removed from the room and soundly spanked, her parents should be.
Such is the way things work in Oakie’s World.
My first ever ethical dilemma related to a gift I didn’t like. I was an extreme tomboy (hated dresses, the color pink, any kind of human-shaped dolls, anything glittery, lacy, fluffy or otherwise “girly”) Anyway, I received a doll for my birthday from another girl.
It was a perfectly nice doll. I hated it. Now, on the one hand I was raised that you must Always Politely Thank People For Gifts. But on the other, It’s Wrong to Lie. I was very confused, since if I told her I liked it, that would definitely be a Lie. But clearly, she required Thanking. I pulled my mom aside to explain the problem and seek guidance. She told me to thank her nicely, which I did.
I was six when this happened. I still remember it very clearly, and so does my mom.
Oh ya… that went over real well. I tried that last night. :smack:
Now I get the “You must think I’m stupid, I can’t believe I didn’t see a carry handle on the top.” guilt trip. :eek: It is a stupid thing to seem to require, and she’d have no way of knowing that, but she was 100% on everything else about the bag. Color, shape, flaps, pockets, size were all perfect. So close, it makes me feel bad that I’m just that picky. (I do REALLY use it every workday, it has to be right, or I’ll obsess about it)
She’s mostly understanding, but disappointed. But, she did dig right back into the store’s site, and found a few other options. She’s going to check about the return process. (She bought it in early November) They seem pretty reasonable in their normal process, and I’d be surprised if they didn’t take care of her as a matter of Christmas season policy.
In the end, I’ll get the bag I want, and hopefully we’ll go back to our original theme of “community” gift, rather than individual gifts. 
In order to get me that “thing I really need, and will use daily,” I need to go get it myself, I’m too particular, and have thought for a very long time about how that item should be configured. Might take me a long time to find “the one” I’m looking for, but I’ll find one eventually.
Why can’t you both thank the person for giving you the gift and return it to the store for exchange or refund? As long as you’re not suggesting that the giver should return it to the store for something else, which is completely wrong.
This Christmas, I was able to come up with appropriate gifts for everyone in my family, but since I live at some distance from them, my mother kept asking me for what I wanted. I’m reluctant to answer the question, because I don’t want to appear greedy and also because I really don’t need anything. (Really, who does? Most people I know are solidly middle class and have more stuff than they need.) In the end, I told her to get me replacement blades for my Gillette Fusion razor, because they belong to Costco and can purchase them inexpensively and because the blades are expensive.