# Attitudes towards money among friends and fam **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 17, 2011, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881 "2011-10-17T03:30:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/41 "2011-10-19T18:51:36Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > \ > > ``` > Most of the time, if I say no to an activity that she thinks I should enjoy, I automatically become un-fun, in her eyes--whether or not money is involved, although the monetary aspect seems to factor in more. > > ``` I think your friend needs to grow up. What’s it to her if you don’t want to do something? You’re an adult; you can go home if it’s late and you’re tired. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/42 "2011-10-20T01:03:00Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I think your friend needs to grow up. What’s it to her if you don’t want to do something? You’re an adult; you can go home if it’s late and you’re tired. You can even go home if you’re not tired but the activity holds no interest for you. I have a similar friend - she thinks I’m a spoilsport if I don’t enjoy the the things she likes. She has no compunction about whinging about a movie I might have chosen, though. ---
**Author:** ![Schyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Schyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schyler)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/43 "2011-10-20T07:46:57Z")
How you spend your money is your own choice. With the state of the US economy these days why would ANYONE spend more for something if they didn’t have to. That being said, I lean more toward buying things that say “made in USA” lately (mostly because of trade laws outside countries are less governed than US companies–whether anyone admits it or not–and in light of one of them thinking formica would be a great flavor enhancer in dog food) I’m not cheap. I work hard for my money and deserve to be first on the list to enjoy the financial benefits. But, and it’s a big but. .when it comes to “loaning” money to friends and family. . DON’T! ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/44 "2011-10-20T13:00:31Z")
Your friend L sounds kind of self centered and passive agressive and that the money issue is just a way she has of pushing buttons, but is not the main issue. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/45 "2011-10-20T14:01:57Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Most of the time, if I say no to an activity that she thinks I should enjoy, I automatically become un-fun, in her eyes–whether or not money is involved, although the monetary aspect seems to factor in more. She probably wants you to validate her choices. Sounds like she takes it personal when you don’t share her enthusiasm towards certain things. You sound rather mismatched as friends, to be honest. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/46 "2011-10-20T15:52:50Z")
> [@jabiru](#): > > You can even go home if you’re not tired but the activity holds no interest for you.\ Yup. ---
**Author:** ![Schyler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Schyler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schyler)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/47 "2012-01-27T17:46:05Z")
I have responses to several other posts. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, make choices that are best for YOU. But do it in a way that shows respect for other people’s choices too. To the person who says that his/her parents were frugal with them but aren’t living frugal now: Lots of couples have financial issues when they are first married and have children. IE: you have to be more frugal. Many Gen X kids today seem to think that money “grows on trees” IE: that they should never be deprived of “anything” they want growing up with no reality of what raising them actually costs. Many parents give up getting Xmas and birthday gifts themselves so they could afford ones for their children. Gave up careers to work menial/ low paying jobs so there would be food on the table every day. I don’t regret a minute of my children’s younger years or the frugal way we lived to get through them, but because we did “get through them” we think we can afford/deserve to have a few perks now. Pull your head out! ---
**Author:** ![Q.N.Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3da27b/32.png) [@Q.N.Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.N.Jones)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/48 "2012-01-27T18:25:43Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > It takes the fun out of it when you have to keep pulling out your wallet. It also takes the fun out of things when someone in the group is complaining all the time about how much things cost. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/49 "2012-01-27T18:29:57Z")
> [@Schyler](#): > > Many Gen X kids today Correction: the youngest of Gen Xers are in their 30s, today. The exact dates vary by who you ask, but no one born after 1980 is an Xer. Go ahead and insult the youth of today, but Xers they are not. Speaking in broad generational strokes, Xers are frugal compared to their parents (Boomers) and their younger sibs (Millennials). ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881/50 "2012-02-23T14:31:49Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > I’ver never quite understood why some people say, “Well, it costs what it costs, so just pay it.” If the cost of the insurance, activity, vacation, new tire, or whatever it is is exorbitantly and prohibitively high for the person who desires or needs it, I can see why they’d balk at paying for it. Because no one has an inherent right to any product or service that is produced at the expense of someone elses labor. People are making their living selling insurance, running activities, making tires or whatever. It may be a vacation for you, but it takes a lot of people working at the various airlines, hotels, resorts, bars, nightclubs and tours for you to have that awesome trip. And, like you, they have to get paid. > [@vivalostwages](#): > > Our friend C was going to get a tattoo after we had all spent the evening together. She said we were welcome to go to the shop and watch; it didn’t matter to her one way or another. I politely declined since it was late, I was tired, and it didn’t sound all that interesting. L. said I should “live a little, have fun”, etc. and go. I went home anyway. She went to the shop after all and ended up horrified and regretting it; apparently, she had no idea that tattoos involve needles and blood. Tell her NOW you are having fun! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attitudes-towards-money-among-friends-and-fam/599881.md?page=2)