# Attn circumcised: your mother is likely a sex offender **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278 "2012-07-15T04:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/241 "2012-08-28T05:37:32Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Agreed. > > _ **Try2B** _, a professional would help with the underlying causes of your problems in life, whereas strangers on a message board can argue about topics while the symptoms wax and wane and never get dealt with. > > Seriously. An hour with a counselor would do you a world of good. I hope you choose mental health… coping with other areas will follow. _You_ need an hour with _me_. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/242 "2012-08-28T05:39:11Z")
I’ve given up on the OP. However, I do have a bone to pick with the AAP studies reference of penile cancer. The rates of penile cancer are so low that circumcision will have no material bearing one way or the other. My real issue with circumcision is that there is a lot of social/religious reasons to justify it. The AAP had the good sense to make it clear that it should be up,to the parents. My son is not nor am I. Had my parents decided to circumcise me then I likely would have been pro circumcision. My advice to the OP is to move on and don’t have the procedure performed on your own kids. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/243 "2012-08-28T05:42:14Z")
> [@Freakenstein](#): > > I don’t understand that line of thinking either, but in post #196 somebody says: > > The only thing You may have right is that without the turtleneck the skin of the tip gets thicker because pants cause some friction and it loses some sensitivity. > > Why is this thread still going on? WTF? Who gets to decide to chop another’s body parts off? You are seriously deluded and in need of professional help. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/244 "2012-08-28T05:43:59Z")
nm ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/245 "2012-08-28T05:45:40Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Tell you what. Go talk to a lawyer or the police about charging your parents & the doctor with sexual assault and come back here with the results. > > I fucking bet you won’t you dickless wonder. Because this clearly isn’t about circumcision as a wider issue but about your own failures in the sack. Either nut up and take action on your beliefs or go get a script for some little blue pills an have a good wank over some pics of the uncut cocks you seem to have such a hang-up about. > > Idiot. Holy projection, Batman! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/246 "2012-08-28T05:48:13Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Holy projection, Batman! Awww… is that the best you can do? I have a four year old son who makes better arguments than that. Whiner. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/247 "2012-08-28T05:48:45Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Not really. I mean, yes, both involve cutting off parts of one’s naughty bits, but it’s not the same parts. The clitoris is developmentally and structurally analogous to the penile head, not a wad of skin around the shaft, and its damage/removal is the _mildest_ form of FGM. The foreskin is more analogous to the labia minora. So it’s really not an apt or useful comparison at all. Now, if there were some common form of surgery that removed part or all a baby boy’s penile head (and sometimes cut off the whole penis, and sometimes took the scrotum for good measure and sewed the whole gaping hole into a passage just big enough to piss through), then you could compare it to FGM without sounding like nutbar. Or if FGM involved cutting off the labia minora and leaving everything else alone. But neither of those things is so, so it’s a totally stupid, useless, and nutty-sounding comparison. > > Granted, I think cutting off the labia minora sounds like a pointless and unpleasant thing to do, and wouldn’t go for it absent some fairly blatant benefit, but it’s not the sort of thing that would destroy your sex life. > > Then again, punching holes into a baby’s ears sounds pretty pointless and unpleasant, too. Yet we do it quite often, without even debatable health benefits to justify it. > > And ftr, doctors cut out/off healthy tissue all the damn time. They’re called plastic surgeons, and they are very, very busy people. The whole thing can be avoided by simply labeling this MGM. Why would you do that? Ok, if you had a good reason… but you don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/248 "2012-08-28T05:50:00Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Awww… is that the best you can do? > > Whiner. So- your standard of ethics is the law? Good luck in life, **Battle Pope**! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/249 "2012-08-28T05:52:09Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > So- your standard of ethics is the law? Good luck in life, **Battle Pope**! I think you need a vacation. How about [here?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haesindang_Park) ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/250 "2012-08-28T05:55:03Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Of all the things in life to complain about this is not one of them. And yet, whenever one of these threads starts the usual corps of foreskin-obsessed cock cutters jumps in and defends the practice like it’s central to their very being. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/251 "2012-08-28T05:58:09Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > I think you need a vacation. > > How about [here?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haesindang_Park) Well no, I just got back from vacation and it was sublime. Fie on your penis park! ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/252 "2012-08-28T05:59:36Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Well no, I just got back from vacation and it was sublime. Fie on your penis park! But you’d fit right in there. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/253 "2012-08-28T06:05:51Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > If the OP has not tried to prosecute his own mother then he is just a fucking lieing, shit-eating, baby-raping, circumcising troll. My relationship with my own mother didn’t make it past family aggravated assault, so your accusation is moot. I think this wraps up the **Drunky Smurf** objections, unless he has some more. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/254 "2012-08-28T06:49:02Z")
Was this an actual assault, or, along the lines of ‘circimcusion = sexualt assault’ was it just a hug? Either way the OP is such a prime example of being disconnected from reality that its really not worth continuing. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/255 "2012-08-28T07:18:37Z")
I believe there are doctors out there who do “foreskin restoration”, if you’re that desparate. ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2012, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/256 "2012-08-28T08:41:36Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > For every guy doing fine circumcised there are many more doing fine uncircumcised. That’s a non-starter. Exactly. Circumcised or not is not an issue one way or the other for males. > [@](#): > > You can cut little boys’ nipples off too, so they never get nipple cancer. Most people would call that “really stupid.” > > Why should I be circumcised? I’m gay. My penis will never go anywhere near a vagina. You don’t get to slice up my penis to protect some chick I’ll never have sex with. If you think STDs are restricted to male/female intercourse then the discussion is over. I suspect you know better. Interestingly they could make money removing men’s nipples. I wonder why, if their motivation is to make money on unnecessary procedures as you suggested earlier, they don’t push for it? > [@](#): > > Don’t give me any crap about it protecting me from HIV either. That’s really, really stupid and based on African tribal studies where people think raping virgins cures AIDS. Cutting their penises completely off would probably show some benefits too. I cited the study above which specifically said they dealt with the epidemiology of circumcision in the US in their study. Bottom line is there are health benefits to circumcision. Not dramatic but real. Further, the procedure is safe and does not impact males’ ability to function sexually in any way shape or form (not counting how you may mess yourself up in your own head but that is a mental problem in need of a therapist). The few who are bent out of shape about it need psychological help. Circumcision is far from what is ailing them. They are messed in the head and need professional help. The vast majority of men who have been circumcised have dicks that work fine. They get hard-ons. They can screw people in the literal sense. They have no loss of sensation and enjoy getting laid same as non-circumcised men. In short…nothing is different for them beyond a bit of aesthetics and that is wholly subjective. Circumcised or not…who cares? Either way you are fine. ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/257 "2012-08-29T18:28:17Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > And yet, whenever one of these threads starts the usual corps of foreskin-obsessed cock cutters jumps in and defends the practice like it’s central to their very being. > > Interesting. The problem, I think, is that we are told that we are victims and that we should feel violated. And if we don’t feel that way, then we’re just not seeing the whole issue clearly. It’s kind of natural to feel insulted in that case, so we retaliate. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/258 "2012-09-03T02:15:53Z")
> [@Whack-a-Mole](#): > > Bottom line is there are health benefits to circumcision. Not dramatic but real. Further, the procedure is safe and does not impact males’ ability to function sexually in any way shape or form (not counting how you may mess yourself up in your own head but that is a mental problem in need of a therapist). > > The few who are bent out of shape about it need psychological help. Circumcision is far from what is ailing them. They are messed in the head and need professional help. The vast majority of men who have been circumcised have dicks that work fine. They get hard-ons. They can screw people in the literal sense. They have no loss of sensation and enjoy getting laid same as non-circumcised men. > > In short…nothing is different for them beyond a bit of aesthetics and that is wholly subjective. > > Circumcised or not…who cares? Either way you are fine. There are health benefits to not-circumcision- body parts have a function, who’da thunk it? And I would not categorize a procedure which results in an unnecessary amputation as ‘safe’ when that is literally and obviously the opposite. The AIDS statistics strike me as an excuse. I don’t like putting words in other people’s mouths/assigning them motives, but as has been pointed out, considering a person can wear a condom to prevent AIDS, not to mention practice basic hygiene, why insist on the radical step of healthy-infant amputation? Seems there are a lot of assumptions built into that decision, no? And, have you come up with another example where we amputate as disease prevention? Do you have any psych credentials? Because I call bullshit on your diagnosis. The psychological issue at work in this thread is the weird blind spot this issue occupies in our culture which I simply point out. Cite that my complaint is an issue of aesthetics? I’d agree I’m ‘fine’, but I don’t think that really justifies amputative surgery, especially considering you claim a person is ‘fine either way’. Wouldn’t you agree “fine either way” is a prime ur-example of a reason Not to perform surgery? Are you unaware of the absurdity of your defense? I hope after the DNC convention I’ll have the time to launch the final thread outside the pit where we can examine the legal reasons why routine circumcision ought to stop. I probably ought to apologize in advance for not having the time to respond to every last poster in that thread, but I’ll try. ## You’ve read, “The Merchant of Venice”, right? While we’re in the pit, **Whack-a-Mole** , and considering your interest in psychoanalysis, let’s talk about your mother… Ode to the Sandusky Child Mutilation Center, “Where Sending You Home With 99% of Your Son is Our Passion!” [sup]tm[/sup] Shall I rate your mother 'gainst Shylock the Jew? Not that his jewishness lends him dishonor besides in the eyes of his heartless tormentors, who kick him, and rob him, and call him a dog. They nightly imprison his kind in the Geto. The fury of Shylock swells. He’s enraged! The result it turns out is cruel lending terms staged: “You will pay back promptly the loan you request, Or I’ll carve a pound of your flesh from your breast!” Circumstance snags his worst foe in his trap. At this point old Shylock won’t take any yap. His friends offer double of what the guy owes, but furious Shylock is not to be moved. They desperately offer sextuple the sum, but a man this oppressed wants but see vengeance be done. Tell me what grievance your mother fulfilled- While with not sin nor symptom your new form was filled? What was _her_ motive (I take, absent a creed), that caused her permitting this terrible deed? Was she oppressed? Beat up with a stick? No, _for no reason_ she punished your dick. 'Twas just a suggestion: “Without a prescription, We’ll chop your son’s privates to match this description.” With unfurrowed brow and with nary a question She vapidly authorized your circumcision. Now, even a sow needs a ring in its snout which one must pull smartly to lead it about. So as object of measure, poor Shylock’s too big since your mom’s credulity’s worse than a pig’s! Are you also branded? Your sister’s feet bound? An altar to Mammon in her house be found? No wait! Don’t tell me! There I want not go For I haven’t the time for two threads here you know. ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/259 "2012-09-03T09:31:58Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > I’d agree I’m ‘fine’, but I don’t think that really justifies amputative surgery, especially considering you claim a person is ‘fine either way’. Wouldn’t you agree “fine either way” is a prime ur-example of a reason Not to perform surgery? Are you unaware of the absurdity of your defense? You’re ‘fine’, really? Apart from the fact that you spend an inordinate amount of time mourning the loss of ‘half’ your dick, you also blame circumcision for all the problems in your relationship: > [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > in my case I fear the long-term consequences of circumcision mean I am sort of going asexual. This isn’t really fair to my gf. […] Why would you want to disrupt _her_ sex life? Even if you hate men and male sexuality with all your heart and think every single one of us ought to be surgically altered to the brink of [anhedonia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anhedonia), can’t you at least stop to consider that this can affect other people as well? > > Asexuality could be the kind of thing that undermines a marriage. These are not the words of someone who is ‘fine’. These are the words of someone who genuinely needs the help of a trained therapist. **Whack-a-Mole** is right, you’re just using this imagined trauma as a scapegoat for some apparently serious psychological issues. What if you were uncircumcised and still couldn’t get it up for your girlfriend? What if you still undermined your relationship because of your personal problems? Plenty of uncirced men have difficulty with relationships and marriages too - what do you think they blame it on? And why is only your mother to blame for this? Is dad innocent in all these cases of imaginary sexual assault? Sounds to me like someone has more of a mommy problem than a penis problem. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/260 "2012-09-03T12:21:15Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > ## Ode to the Sandusky Child Mutilation Center, “Where Sending You Home With 99% of Your Son is Our Passion!” [sup]tm[/sup] > > Shall I rate your mother 'gainst Shylock the Jew? > Not that his jewishness lends him dishonor > besides in the eyes of his heartless tormentors, > who kick him, and rob him, and call him a dog. > They nightly imprison his kind in the Geto. > The fury of Shylock swells. He’s enraged! > The result it turns out is cruel lending terms staged: > “You will pay back promptly the loan you request, > Or I’ll carve a pound of your flesh from your breast!” > > Circumstance snags his worst foe in his trap. > At this point old Shylock won’t take any yap. > His friends offer double of what the guy owes, > but furious Shylock is not to be moved. > They desperately offer sextuple the sum, but > a man this oppressed wants but see vengeance be done. > > Tell me what grievance your mother fulfilled- > While with not sin nor symptom your new form was filled? > What was _her_ motive (I take, absent a creed), > that caused her permitting this terrible deed? > Was she oppressed? Beat up with a stick? > No, _for no reason_ she punished your dick. > 'Twas just a suggestion: “Without a prescription, > We’ll chop your son’s privates to match this description.” > With unfurrowed brow and with nary a question > She vapidly authorized your circumcision. > > Now, even a sow needs a ring in its snout > which one must pull smartly to lead it about. > So as object of measure, poor Shylock’s too big > since your mom’s credulity’s worse than a pig’s! > Are you also branded? Your sister’s feet bound? > An altar to Mammon in her house be found? > No wait! Don’t tell me! There I want not go > For I haven’t the time for two threads here you know. I don’t really have a horse in this race, but writing stuff like this doesn’t do a whole lot to support your “I’m totally sane and well-adjusted” argument. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=14)