# Attn circumcised: your mother is likely a sex offender

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [July 15, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278 "2012-07-15T04:51:18Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 14

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/261 "2012-09-04T05:24:01Z")

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Is this the real life?

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**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/262 "2012-09-04T10:55:12Z")

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> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#):
>
> ## Ode to the Sandusky Child Mutilation Center, “Where Sending You Home With 99% of Your Son is Our Passion!” [sup]tm[/sup]
> 
> _snip dumbfuckery_

I see they cut your talent in half as well.

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**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\
**Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/263 "2012-09-04T13:07:21Z")

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Try2B Comprehensive

Have you looked into non-surgical foreskin restoration?

> **[Foreskin restoration](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreskin_restoration)**
>
> Foreskin restoration is the process of expanding the skin on the penis to reconstruct an organ similar to the foreskin, which has been removed by circumcision or injury. Foreskin restoration is primarily accomplished by stretching the residual skin of the penis, but surgical methods also exist. Restoration creates a facsimile of the foreskin, but specialized tissues removed during circumcision cannot be reclaimed. Actual regeneration of the foreskin is experimental at this time. Some forms of r...

Basically it is gently stretching the skin on the penis to cause tissue growth, the results can be dramatic:

\<[http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Ca\_before\_after.jpg&gt](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/03/Ca_before_after.jpg&gt);

No it isn’t replacing the original tissue, but it is DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Please don’t just dismiss this, there are tons of resources online about this including devoted message boards where no one is going to ridicule you. You have a lot of anger about this, this would allow you at least to put it toward changing your current situation.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/264 "2012-09-05T01:53:05Z")

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People, I think we’re being trolled. C’mon.

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**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/265 "2012-09-05T06:08:09Z")

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> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> I believe there are doctors out there who do “foreskin restoration”, if you’re that desparate.

You’ll see in the next thread why this cannot address the issue. And, you’re repeating yourself.

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**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 6:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/266 "2012-09-05T06:16:52Z")

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> [@Whack-a-Mole](#):
>
> This “woe is me” bullshit from circumcised men who whine that they were mutilated is nothing more than people trying to find something to bitch about.

I dunno. Seems like you think this is an invalid gripe. Everyone us up in arms about whether or not women can decide for themselves what they do with their bodies. Me and you? Nope! Compulsory chop, and then shut up later.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/267 "2012-09-05T06:26:06Z")

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> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#):
>
> You’ll see in the next thread why this cannot address the issue. And, you’re repeating yourself.

Another thread about this? Dude, c’mon.

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**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\
**Post date:** [September 5, 2012, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/268 "2012-09-05T21:32:17Z")

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> [@Guinastasia](#):
>
> Another thread about this? Dude, c’mon.

And yet you’re the one accused of repeating yourself. Strange.

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**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\
**Post date:** [September 7, 2012, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/269 "2012-09-07T00:31:33Z")

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> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#):
>
> I dunno. Seems like you think this is an invalid gripe.

Roughly 60% of the men in the US are circumcised and there are about 157 million men in the US (give or take…ballparking numbers but should be close to these two numbers).

So, roughly 94,200,000 men in this country are circumcised. Of those how many bitch about being circumcised? How many bitch about not being circumcised?

I do not know but the numbers are a tiny fraction of that total. The vast majority of men in the US, cut or uncut, get on just fine and whatever their problems circumcision is not one of them.

Yes a vocal minority whine about this but they are just that. A vocal minority (and a very small one at that) stirring up a shitstorm over something that most have no problem with. Even when those opposed to it bring it up most men wonder what the fuck you lot are on about.

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**Author:** ![lancelink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lancelink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lancelink)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/270 "2013-08-15T00:43:01Z")

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Weird, I wanted to discuss REAL problems regarding fear of doctors, not this crap.

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**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/271 "2013-08-15T01:11:18Z")

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11 months! Is it time to circumcise this thread?

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**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/272 "2013-08-15T01:22:51Z")

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Bobbitt!

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**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/273 "2013-08-15T13:25:25Z")

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Dick Cutter, Pediatrician.

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**Author:** ![Great\_Antibob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@Great\_Antibob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Great_Antibob)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/274 "2013-08-15T15:28:44Z")

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> [@Grey](#):
>
> 11 months! Is it time to circumcise this thread?

You mean snip a bit off the end? Makes sense to me.

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**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/275 "2013-08-15T16:04:08Z")

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> [@lancelink](#):
>
> Weird, I wanted to discuss REAL problems regarding fear of doctors, not this crap.

Join date: This month.

Total posts: One.

Thread necro: Check

Almost completely irrelevant post: Check

My question is why do people sign up to this forum to do this, and why does it happen every few days or so?

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**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/276 "2013-08-15T17:58:34Z")

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> [@Askthepizzaguy](#):
>
> Join date: This month.
> 
> Total posts: One.
> 
> Thread necro: Check
> 
> Almost completely irrelevant post: Check
> 
> My question is why do people sign up to this forum to do this, and why does it happen every few days or so?

SDMB needs to make the entrance exam a little harder

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**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/277 "2013-08-15T18:49:57Z")

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> [@Great\_Antibob](#):
>
> You mean snip a bit off the end? Makes sense to me.

If that means getting rid of the first post, I support this.

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**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\
**Post date:** [August 15, 2013, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/278 "2013-08-15T19:31:16Z")

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> [@Lumpy](#):
>
> Dick Cutter, Pediatrician.

I lol’d.

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**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/279 "2013-08-16T12:38:48Z")

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> [@Grey](#):
>
> 11 months! Is it time to circumcise this thread?

Yes, it won’t be long now.

Regards,  
Shodan

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**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\
**Post date:** [August 16, 2013, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/280 "2013-08-16T13:48:31Z")

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Cut it out.

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