# Attn circumcised: your mother is likely a sex offender **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278 "2012-07-15T04:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ele\_the\_Stoic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ele_the_Stoic)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/21 "2012-07-15T07:21:32Z")
And here I had all those teen years worrying about being ridiculed for being a virgin. Turns out I got laid when I was less than a year old. Always knew I was a player. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/22 "2012-07-15T07:30:15Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Mothers that “give in” are accessories to sexual assault, at best. At worst, they are guilty of incestual rape. Are you offering a plea bargain here? You’ll only charge her with sexual assault if she agrees to plead guilty and testify against the doctor? ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/23 "2012-07-15T07:36:24Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > If you are circumcised, this thread is about you. If you aren’t, it isn’t. > > If your mother brought you to the medical authorities for circumcision, she is an accomplice to sexual assualt; more specifically, male genital mutilation. > > If social pressure dictates that a mother submit her infant to male genital mutilation, morality demands that the mother resist. > > Mothers that “give in” are accessories to sexual assault, at best. At worst, they are guilty of [incestual](http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Incestual) rape. > > It really depends on the individual case. A circumcised infant might be raised by gay men, or circumcised by authorities who do not consult the parents, etc. Your personal mother literally may not be guilty. Statistically speaking, though, she probably is. > > Literally a sex offender. You know, I wish my life could be so easy that I could spend most of my waking hours obsessing over a minor flap of skin. Get a fucking _life_ already. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/24 "2012-07-15T07:49:31Z")
Not only is my mother a sex offender because of what she did to me, I guess I’m a sex offender myself for having my son circumcised - and not only that, the procedure was carried out _on this very table_ I’m sitting at right now and typing this. How do you like that? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/25 "2012-07-15T07:58:59Z")
The OP should move to [Germany](http://www.deseretnews.com/article/765589058/Ruling-against-circumcision-a-threat-to-freedom.html). ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/26 "2012-07-15T08:25:25Z")
Forget circumcision, I’ve heard that some mothers regularly strip their baby boys naked and then fondle their genitals with a damp washcloth. Will the sexual assault never end? ---
**Author:** ![NOLA\_Cajun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea666f/32.png) [@NOLA\_Cajun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NOLA_Cajun)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/27 "2012-07-15T08:28:49Z")
I have a sudden urge for beef jerky. ---
**Author:** ![njtt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecd19e/32.png) [@njtt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/njtt)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/28 "2012-07-15T08:32:43Z")
Well, I would not have taken you seriously if you had not had a cite for the meaning of “incestual”, but that certainly clinched it for me. ---
**Author:** ![NOLA\_Cajun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea666f/32.png) [@NOLA\_Cajun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NOLA_Cajun)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/29 "2012-07-15T08:48:35Z")
So is a bris basically group sex? Or would it technically be a “gangbang”? ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/30 "2012-07-15T09:31:25Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Ok, is _this_ trollery? Seems like nothing but purposeful inflammation. Oh FFS **Ambivalid** T-R-O-L-L is not an alternative spelling of “person with whacko views”. The word gets thrown around like confetti around here. Try2B is persistently but consistently extremist and silly but as far as I can tell (worryingly) sincere. Lay off it already. Get another damn tune. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/31 "2012-07-15T09:39:09Z")
> [@NOLA\_Cajun](#): > > So is a bris basically group sex? Or would it technically be a “gangbang”? Actually, it’s a bunch of cutters. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/32 "2012-07-15T09:47:49Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > If you are circumcised, this thread is about you. If you aren’t, it isn’t. > > If your mother brought you to the medical authorities for circumcision, she is an accomplice to sexual assualt; more specifically, male genital mutilation. > > If social pressure dictates that a mother submit her infant to male genital mutilation, morality demands that the mother resist. > > Mothers that “give in” are accessories to sexual assault, at best. At worst, they are guilty of [incestual](http://www.thefreedictionary.com/Incestual) rape. > > It really depends on the individual case. A circumcised infant might be raised by gay men, or circumcised by authorities who do not consult the parents, etc. Your personal mother literally may not be guilty. Statistically speaking, though, she probably is. > > Literally a sex offender. I’m betting your mother is also your sister, right? ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/33 "2012-07-15T09:52:36Z")
My mom’s not so much a sex offender, genital mutilator and insestial rapist because she had that hood of skin removed from my baby-penis; but more because she squeezed me _out of her fucking vagina._ FACE FIRST. And I got in there in the first place because my father, of all people, slammed his dick inside my mom, inserting me into her uterous. And these atrocities just keep happening for _eons_ with no one ever saying, “Hey! Wait a minute! This is an abomination and an affront to innocent infants everywhere!”? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/34 "2012-07-15T10:35:56Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Forget circumcision, I’ve heard that some mothers regularly strip their baby boys naked and then fondle their genitals with a damp washcloth. Will the sexual assault never end? in all seriousness, child abuse is a real and depressingly common problem, someone of the responses to it are of such a nature that I worry that your example will soon really verboten. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/35 "2012-07-15T11:00:49Z")
Try 2 B My mom had me circumcised. Your mom dropped you on your head. I got the better deal ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/36 "2012-07-15T11:09:22Z")
Dude, I wasn’t even in the room at the time. Cut me a break, willya? ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/37 "2012-07-15T11:20:56Z")
Accepting the OP’s logic for one terrifying moment, why isn’t the father a sex offender too? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/38 "2012-07-15T11:23:41Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > My mom’s not so much a sex offender, genital mutilator and insestial rapist because she had that hood of skin removed from my baby-penis; but more because she squeezed me _out of her fucking vagina._ FACE FIRST. > > And I got in there in the first place because my father, of all people, slammed his dick inside my mom, inserting me into her uterous. Don’t forget her ramming your face into her naked breast and squirting stuff into your mouth. _Obviously_ sexual assault. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/39 "2012-07-15T11:35:06Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > My mom’s not so much a sex offender, genital mutilator and insestial rapist because she had that hood of skin removed from my baby-penis; but more because she squeezed me _out of her fucking vagina._ FACE FIRST. > > And I got in there in the first place because my father, of all people, slammed his dick inside my mom, inserting me into her uterous. > > And these atrocities just keep happening for _eons_ with no one ever saying, “Hey! Wait a minute! This is an abomination and an affront to innocent infants everywhere!”? The Shakers tried this. For some reason, their numbers started to dwindle. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/40 "2012-07-15T12:10:01Z")
Give the OP a break. Infant circumcision is often very traumatic. Mine was; I didn’t walk for a year afterwards. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=3)