# Attn circumcised: your mother is likely a sex offender **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 15, 2012, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278 "2012-07-15T04:51:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/61 "2012-07-15T15:14:22Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > You know, it’s posts like this (on both sides) that turn these threads into train wrecks. You’re a crack up. But I’m glad you’ve come along to give this thread the solemnity it warrants. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/62 "2012-07-15T15:15:58Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > You know, it’s posts like this (on both sides) that turn these threads into train wrecks. Lots and lots of men are not circumcised and do not have “dick cheese” and look perfectly attractive. But some of them are inevitably going to have knee-jerk defensive reactions to the accusation that they have an ugly, nasty penis. I mean, you can’t hardly blame them. Except some of the defending will take the form of insulting the circumcised penis, which will make the other side defensive, and even more virulent in their own attacks and pretty soon we are all passionately arguing about something that just isn’t that big if a deal either way. > > Look, the OP is insane. We can all agree with that. You don’t have to insult a bunch of random men to make it clear that the OP is crazy. It’s possible for BOTH the OP to be crazy AND it be a perfectly cromulent choice not to circumcise your child. I don’t entirely disagree, but in other news…I’m just jerking around! Perhaps that’s a poor word choice… Anyway, I do honestly believe in the cockles of my heart that a circumcised penis is more attractive looking than an uncircumcised one. An uncircumcised penis really does look like a pig in a blanket. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/63 "2012-07-15T16:08:37Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > I don’t entirely disagree, but in other news…I’m just jerking around! > > Perhaps that’s a poor word choice… > > Anyway, I do honestly believe in the cockles of my heart that a circumcised penis is more attractive looking than an uncircumcised one. An uncircumcised penis really does look like a pig in a blanket. Heh heh, heh heh… You thaid “cockles” … Heh heh… ``` -- Beavis (or was it Butthead?) ``` ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/64 "2012-07-15T16:41:53Z")
Not even an exception for medically necessary infant circumcisions. He’s like the Fred Phelps of foreskin. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/65 "2012-07-15T17:04:24Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > If your mother brought you to the medical authorities… > It really depends on the individual case. A circumcised infant might be raised by gay men, or circumcised by authorities who do not consult the parents, … I’ve heard of those authorities. They are called the Foreskin Fraternity. They collect foreskins, sew a few together, and sell them as wallets. When need be, they can be rubbed briskly and become suitcases. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/66 "2012-07-15T17:27:20Z")
I know they say everything goes in cycles, but I never thought we’d see another **Jack Dean Tyler**! Someone teach this guy about the Tug-Ahoy! ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/67 "2012-07-15T17:36:56Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > Oh FFS **Ambivalid** T-R-O-L-L is not an alternative spelling of “person with whacko views”. The word gets thrown around like confetti around here. Try2B is persistently but consistently extremist and silly but as far as I can tell (worryingly) sincere. Lay off it already. Get another damn tune. Uh, ok. Just asking. I’m still trying to nail down precisely what “trolling” is exactly and I’ve heard it described as “posted purposely just to inflame”; and this seems to fit that definition. Please forgive me for annoying you. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/68 "2012-07-15T17:39:19Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > I’ve heard of those authorities. They are called the Foreskin Fraternity. They collect foreskins, sew a few together, and sell them as wallets. When need be, they can be rubbed briskly and become suitcases. I thought that’s what those Nazi lampshades were made out of? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/69 "2012-07-15T18:51:19Z")
To take the OP more seriously than it deserves, the vast majority of American men were circumcised because it was believed that circumcision led to lower rates of cervical cancer in their female partners. That may have been mistaken but the intention was blameless. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/70 "2012-07-15T18:57:42Z")
What’s all this fuss about circumspection? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/71 "2012-07-15T19:18:54Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > in all seriousness, child abuse is a real and depressingly common problem, someone of the responses to it are of such a nature that I worry that your example will soon really verboten. Really? You think that we are moving towards a society in which it is frowned upon for a woman to change a baby boys diaper? How exactly do you think that would work? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/72 "2012-07-15T19:27:58Z")
> [@Lumpy](#): > > To take the OP more seriously than it deserves, the vast majority of American men were circumcised because it was believed that circumcision led to lower rates of cervical cancer in their female partners. That may have been mistaken but the intention was blameless. It _does_ reduce the rate of HIV transmission, so there’s that. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/73 "2012-07-15T19:42:39Z")
I’m starting to wonder if the OP’s brains were in his foreskin. That would explain a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Victor\_Charlie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7ea924/32.png) [@Victor\_Charlie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victor_Charlie)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/74 "2012-07-15T21:28:17Z")
To paraphrase Liz Lemmon, the OP is staunchly in favor of Cocoa Puffs. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/75 "2012-07-15T21:54:49Z")
The good news is that for messed up people like the OP, there is a way to re-form the foreskin by dangling weights of slowly increasing size off of what skin you have left. It will reform a foreskin of sorts, and looks a lot if not just like an uncircumcised penis. So all you cut guys out there yearning for the days when you had foreskin, there is a way to go back to those halcyon glory days of yore. Just google how to reform your foreskin, or maybe google uncircumcise or something like that, I’m sure you’ll find it. ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/76 "2012-07-15T22:00:46Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > If it is, he’s remarkably [committed to that topic](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=639400). I don’t want to wade through that thread again (the last time around was enough, thank you) but I’m pretty sure he was comparing circumcision to the removal of the clitoris and suggesting there was some kind of religious (Catholic?) brainwashing going on to keep guys from masturbating. Or something. There was also somethign about the Queen of england in there. … … Don’t ask. Read the thread if you’re THAT interested in finding out. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/77 "2012-07-15T22:12:35Z")
> [@Emiliana](#): > > Accepting the OP’s logic for one terrifying moment, why isn’t the father a sex offender too? Geez, moving this to the pit really defeats the purpose. The father is included too. The doctor has performed malpractice (at best) if there isn’t a solid reason for the procedure. I am not sure I can have this discussion in the pit though. I didn’t want to go on with this in the Germany thread because the focus there is completely backwards to me. Circ as a routine matter needs to go here in the US , without zeroing in on the religious motive. Personally I am not sure I am willing to ban it for Muslims and Jews. I kind of like those guys; it turns out I am not comfortable discussing the topic when the focus is a law restricting religions. IANAL for one; for two I don’t want to give the impression that my disgust with the slack-jawed stupidity of circ extends to those religions. Sound like 'dopers are mostly big fans of infant partial-penile amputation though. But again, I don’t think this discussion can happen in the pit. Have fun. I may stop in to fight just to vent. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/78 "2012-07-15T22:15:51Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Personally, I’m glad that my husband’s mother sexually assaulted him when he was an infant. Through the years, I’ve become acquainted with both circumcised and uncircumcised penises, and I have to say that dick cheese is something I prefer to live without. What a great reason to perform irreversible surgery on children- _your_ convenience! ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/79 "2012-07-15T22:19:58Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > Sound like 'dopers are mostly big fans of infant partial-penile amputation though. But again, I don’t think this discussion can happen in the pit. Have fun. I may stop in to fight just to vent. Not that we’re necessarily fans, in fact I was not going to circumcise any sons born to me. [But, I had no sons] The disagreement you’re hearing is mostly about the level of outrage (“sex offender” and “partial-penile amputation” for example). It’s perfectly acceptable, even here at the SDMB, to be an any circumcision advocate. But over the top language provokes some push back. ---
**Author:** ![Candyman74](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Candyman74](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Candyman74)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278/80 "2012-07-15T22:22:23Z")
> [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](#): > > rape. I do not think that word means what you think it means. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-circumcised-your-mother-is-likely-a-sex-offender/628278.md?page=5)