# Attn: Fat People. Quit Your Fucking Whining!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 8, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725 "2011-04-08T22:10:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/1 "2011-04-08T22:10:44Z")
Stuck in a cubicle farm, wasting my life. Got these 5 women on my team. I’m the only guy. They’re lovely people. Always pleasant, always quick with a smile. We get on. But 3 of them are really overweight, and one of the other two is…well, not _fat_ as such, but still pretty ashamed. Like I say, nice people, and I enjoy their company. Usually. I do have one small complaint. These lovely women will, if you let them, _whine about their fucking weight until the heat death of the universe_\*! \*“Oh, it’s so _haaard_.” “Nothing I do ever _woooorks_.” "It’s _impossible!!"_ BULLSHIT!! You either don’t know what to do, or you do but you’re choosing not to. It drives me _mental_. And they talk so much _bullshit_ as well! Here’s a gem: Apparently, it’s possible, if you _really_ don’t wanna diet, to “crunch” yourself thin. I don’t know which dogshit fashion magazine or village idiot they got that from, but it’s bullshit. Another one: Apparently, you should only eat carbs from between 12:00pm and 18:00pm. Fucked if I know how that works, but what’s the point? Why torment yourself learning all these abstruse rules when the facts of weight loss are so simple. I used to be a little tubby. Not much, just couple stone or so. So I did some reading, smartened up my diet and started working out. Now I’ve lost 80% of the weight and within a month or so will probably have a decent 6 pack. Well done me. Aren’t I fucking special? Well, no. Not really. Fuck sake, people. It’s not complicated. This is how you lose weight: > [@](#): > > 1. Use [this](http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/) calculator to work out your BMR (BMR is how many calories you’d burn if you stayed in bed for 24 hours). Take that figure and multiply it by one of the following: > > 1.2 - Little to no exercise. Sedentary job. > 1.375 - Light exercise 2-3 times a week. > 1.55 - Moderate exercise 3-5 times a week. > 1.725 - Heavy exercise 4-6 times a week. > 1.9 - Heavy exercise 4-6 times a week + strenuous job. > > Done? Right. That’s how many calories (give or take) you burn every day. Now take 500 from that. That’s your target. That’s how many calories you need to eat every day to lose 1lb per week. > > 1. Take 40% of that figure. That number of calories must come from carbs. Take another 40%. That number of calories must come from protein. Take the remaining 20%. That’s fat. Gotta make sure you eat some fat. There’s 4 calories in a gram of carb & protein, 9 in a gram of fat. To work out what to eat, divide your carb figure by 4. That’s how many grams of carbs you need to eat a day. Do the same with protein. Now take the fat figure and divide by 9. That’s how many grams of fat you need to eat. This is every day. > > Carbs first. Here is a list of healthy carb-heavy foods: Bran, wheatgerm, barley, maize, buckwheat, cornmeal, oatmeal, brown rice, yam, wholemeal bread. There’s more, but these are the best. All these foods are cheap, and you don’t need to be a fucking sous chef to boil up some brown rice. > > Protein sources are easier: Lean chicken, lean turkey, lean pork cuts, extra-lean beef (extra lean). Protein shakes. All fish has protein. This is not so cheap, but it’s still easy to prepare. > > Healthy fat sources are olive oil, flaxseed oil, and omega 3 oils. Omega 3 oils are found in most fish. If you want fish, but no fat, stick with tuna. > > Pick foods from these lists that you like. > > 1. Now go to [www.calorieking.com](http://www.calorieking.com) and look up the foods and write down the calories, carbs, protein, and fat in each. Now do the math. Let’s say your carb & protein numbers were 200g each, and your fat was 40g. Juggle the quantities of the foods that you like so that you consume the right number of carbs, protein, and fat each day. Now divide that quantity up into 6 meals. You don’t need the exact same number of carbs, protein, and fat in each meal. Just make sure it tallies up over the course of a day. I’ll capitalize this because it’s important: IT’S OKAY TO BE A FEW GRAMS/CALORIES OUT. > > Why six meals? Your body responds a shitload better to 6 meals a day than 3. It speeds your metabolism. > > 1. Now get your ass down the gym 4 times a week. Lift weights. Chest & abs on Monday, back & traps on Wednesday, legs on Friday, Arms & shoulders on saturday. After your weights, spend 20 minutes on a cross trainer at moderate intensity. Once you get good at that, do interval training. 1 minute very fast, 1 minute slow for 15 minutes. Repeat until thin. You need willpower? A blind guy just climbed Everest. There’s your fucking willpower. > > Standard disclaimers apply: Consult your doctor before starting any new diet/fitness program. Don’t fuck about with the weights until you know what you’re doing. Some may get results faster than others. Expect to wait 8-12 weeks for delivery of same. Overnight weight loss diets are all horseshit. This is slower, but it’s stable, and it’ll lose you an average of 1lb per week, and if you work it like it’s written it’ll be 1lb of fat per week, not muscle. There. A billion dollar a year industry summarized in less than one page. Easy, really, because 99% of that industry is steaming horseshit that nobody ever needed to hear. Now nobody has any excuse, and you never need to read any more bullshit diet columns in your hateful fashion and style magazines which never tell you what you really need to know and only exist to perpetuate false standards of beauty no human could ever live up to in an attempt to guilt you into buying SHIT you don’t NEED. There are other methods, but this one works. There are undoubtedly flaws in this method. Doesn’t matter. There are flaws in _every_ method, and this one’s good enough. Results may vary, expect to wait 8-12 weeks for delivery. 1lb per week, and if you work it like it’s written it’ll be 1lb of fat per week, not muscle. It’s not easy, but it’s not that hard either. Try it. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/2 "2011-04-08T22:27:31Z")
Wow, that quote is awfully long and complicated. How about this: _Burn more calories than you eat._ There. Six words, eight syllables. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/3 "2011-04-08T22:30:07Z")
Wow, I don’t think this has ever been addressed here! Congrats. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/4 "2011-04-08T22:30:33Z")
**Cyningablod** , good try, but let me take over: _Eat less, move more._ Four. Any more takers? ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/5 "2011-04-08T22:31:54Z")
Yeah, I did end up going on a bit. On the other hand, it is useful if you eat 6 meals a day, and the 40-40-20 macronutrient split is good for fat loss a well as maintaining muscle mass. It may seem complicated, but all that calculating and portion measuring will take probably around about 3 hours. Then you’ll have a diet you can follow for the next 3 months and lose a stone of flab. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/6 "2011-04-08T22:35:58Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > **Cyningablod** , good try, but let me take over: > > _Eat less, move more._ > > Four. Any more takers? Diet, exercise. That’s two. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/7 "2011-04-08T22:36:01Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > **Cyningablod** , good try, but let me take over: > > _Eat less, move more._ > > Four. Any more takers? Drop the cupcake! On preview: _shakes fist at **Dr. Drake** _ ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/8 "2011-04-08T22:38:10Z")
> [@Dr.Drake](#): > > Diet, exercise. That’s two. “Moderation” 🙂 In all seriousness, it’s easy to boil everything down to “Eat less & exercise more” but that doesn’t really mean anything. Most people vastly overestimate the number of calories they burn and vastly underestimate the number of calories they eat. To make sure they’re eating less than they burn, they first have to work out how much they burn. Then they have to work out how many calories are in the foods they eat and keep a running tally. That’s an awful lot of work. Best to just work out something you can eat every day that keeps you on target and stick with it. While you’re at it, though, try going for the 40-40-20 carb/protein/fat split. It’ll help you stay full, and ensure that your body has enough protein to minimize muscle loss. Like I say, takes 3 hours, lasts 3 months. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/9 "2011-04-08T22:39:11Z")
_deleted_ ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/10 "2011-04-08T22:40:49Z")
> [@Cort](#): > > In all seriousness, it’s easy to boil everything down to “Eat less & exercise more” but that doesn’t really mean anything. Most people vastly overestimate the number of calories they burn and vastly underestimate the number of calories they eat. To make sure they’re eating less than they burn, they first have to work out how much they burn. Then they have to work out how many calories are in the foods they eat and keep a running tally. That’s an awful lot of work. Best to just work out something you can eat every day that keeps you on target and stick with it. While you’re at it, though, try going for the 40-40-20 carb/protein/fat split. It’ll help you stay full, and ensure that your body has enough protein to minimize muscle loss. Like I say, takes 3 hours, lasts 3 months. How long have you maintained your loss? Just curious, cuz like, the success rate of weight loss maintenance is currently something like 5%. If you’re one of the lucky few, we have to know how you did it (other than the obvious.) Because in my experience, weight loss is 5% math and 95% cognitive restructuring. You can handle the math pretty easily with [www.sparkpeople.com](http://www.sparkpeople.com) though. They have a nifty little calorie tracker and will even calculate your calorie range and it takes all of 3 minutes a day to keep track of that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/11 "2011-04-08T22:49:45Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > How long have you maintained your loss? Just curious, cuz like, the success rate of weight loss maintenance is currently something like 5%. If you’re one of the lucky few, we have to know how you did it (other than the obvious.) Because in my experience, weight loss is 5% math and 95% cognitive restructuring. Couple of months. It’s still an ongoing project. I want to get down to 8%bf and then start a slow bulk, trying to put on as much muscle as possible while keeping my bf below 12-14%. The important thing, as I see it, is that if I _do_ slip up, I know how to get back on track right quick. > [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > You can handle the math pretty easily with [www.sparkpeople.com](http://www.sparkpeople.com/) though. They have a nifty little calorie tracker and will even calculate your calorie range and it takes all of 3 minutes a day to keep track of that stuff. Very cool. I like that. Thanks 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/12 "2011-04-08T22:50:48Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Wow, I don’t think this has ever been addressed here! Congrats. I know, I know. I’m sorry. But it was _all day_ today. I just had to vent. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/13 "2011-04-08T22:51:53Z")
Can’t answer for **Cort** , but I’m currently about 5-10lbs overweight (10 lbs if I just want to lose weight, 5 lbs if I want to lose weight and replace flab with muscle). However, I used to be about 40lbs overweight. I lost most of the 40lbs by low-carbing in one single 3-month push, but have kept most of it off for the last 8 years by eating the same as I did when I got fat, but by being more active. Not active like Xtreeeeem sportz, but active like cycling around the place and walking a bit and stuff, on a daily basis. It’s not that difficult. ---
**Author:** ![DSeid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dseid/32/20194_2.png) [@DSeid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSeid)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/14 "2011-04-08T23:06:41Z")
> [@Cort](#): > > _deleted_ Ah if only that was done with the first post. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/15 "2011-04-08T23:15:29Z")
> [@DSeid](#): > > Ah if only that was done with the first post. Goodness, I’m sorry. I forgot myself. Let me try again: “I hate the hypocritical Democrat/Republican Obamabotic/Tea-bagging “FAUX” News/NYT pundits who oppose gay rights/tax cuts and love/hate guns and use “your” when they mean “you’re” or vice versa while saying something crazy about animal rights and overusing SDMB memes from 2006” Yes, it’s another fat thread in the pit. Get over it. And if you can’t, console yourself with the knowledge that, post for post, this one has more solid info about weight loss than all the rest put together. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/16 "2011-04-08T23:19:49Z")
INB4 “But I have a metabolic disorder!” ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/17 "2011-04-08T23:24:55Z")
> [@PlainJain](#): > > Wow, I don’t think this has ever been addressed here! Congrats. The first place my eyes went to, even before the first letter in the OP, was the “Join Date:”. I was mildly surprised. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/18 "2011-04-08T23:26:49Z")
It’s about time someone on the Internet stepped up and told fat people to lose some weight. Thank you, Cort, for finally breaking the silence. You are a hero to us all. ---
**Author:** ![Cort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/77aa72/32.png) [@Cort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cort)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/19 "2011-04-08T23:30:48Z")
Like I said, venting. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2011, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725/20 "2011-04-08T23:33:02Z")
> [@Cort](#): > > Yeah, I did end up going on a bit. On the other hand, it is useful if you eat 6 meals a day, and the 40-40-20 macronutrient split is good for fat loss a well as maintaining muscle mass. It may seem complicated, but all that calculating and portion measuring will take probably around about 3 hours. Then you’ll have a diet you can follow for the next 3 months and lose a stone of flab. You seem informed on the subject, but I need to ask, have you read Gary Taubes seminal work “Good Calories, Bad Calories”? Because if you havent then I really cant take you seriously. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/attn-fat-people-quit-your-fucking-whining/577725.md?page=2)